Titanic

Plot: This is a one-shot about the Titans and a familiar movie. It is written for a comedic point. There really is no plot to this madness, just some humor and confusion (on Starfire's part anyways)

Oh, I don't own Titanic or Teen Titans. Would you want me to own Titanic? If I did I'd be rich! Um, now to the story…

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She walked through the video story, whistling a tune only she would know, since it was a tune only one from her planet of Tamaran was known to hum. She looked through the movies; movies from the horror of the Ring, to documentaries on how cheese was made, and also the selection on everything in between.

She approached a section of the store she hadn't been to in a while. Why was she there? A title caught her eye, a title she had not seen before.

"Titanic?" Starfire read the label. "Is this for real? A movie on us?"

She picked up the VHS case and giddily headed to the check out.

"I would like to check this movie out please?" She asked the person behind the counter.

"Do you have a card?" the person behind the counter replied, rolling her eyes.

"Yes, I do!" Starfire replied happily. She felt as if she was floating, but luckily she wasn't. She instead pulled out the card needed to rent the movie.

She then gave the checkout girl the money, who then produced the change to the giddy Tamaranian girl in front of her. Starfire skipped her way out of the building.

"World gets weirder every day," the checkout girl muttered to herself when Starfire was too far away to hear her.

Starfire decided to fly home as it was easier and faster. Plus she knew her friends probably were getting anxious waiting for her.

Slowly she approached the street below her. She then walked the rest of the way to her home at Titans Tower.

"It's about time you got back! I hope you picked up something sweet!" Beast boy said as Starfire made an entrance to the main room.

"I just hope it isn't another one of those documentaries. That last one, "How Fungus Grows", put me over the top," Cyborg pointed out.

"No, this is not is not a documentary, although "The Workings of a Morgue" sounded enticing…" Starfire went into a dreamy state.

"What did you get?" Raven asked cautiously. Please nothing overly cheerful, Raven thought to herself.

"Friends, I get you together to watch a joyous movie on us, Titanic!" Starfire said gleefully. The others weren't so gleeful.

"You got a movie about a ship? " Beast Boy exclaimed. "A ship?"

"What is this ship you speak of?" Starfire asked innocently. Apparently she did not know what Titanic was.

"Star, the movie you chose out is about a ship that sunk eighty some years ago. The movie is about two people who fall in love as a ship sinks," Robin replied to her.

"Then it is not about us?" Starfire whimpered.

"No," Robin simply stated.

"Did you pick up any other movies besides this, like a horror movie by chance?" Raven inquired.

"No," Starfire admitted. "I was just so overjoyed with this movie, Titanic, that I forgot to look for other movies."

"That's okay, we can watch this," Robin said with a smile.

"I wanted to see Star Wars!" Beast Boy said in frustration. "How can we watch this?"

"At least we're not being forced to watch Sponge Bob again. How bad could Titanic be?" Cyborg added.

"Bad, very bad," Raven said.

"You've seen it then I take it?" Cy asked Raven.

"No," Raven admitted. "But I did see the previews and heard about it. You guys will be delighted to know there is a nude scene…"

"Guy or girl?" BB asked, suddenly filled with curiosity.

"Girl."

"I guess we can watch it, but I pick next time." Beast Boy lounged on the couch as Starfire popped the tape into the VCR. Robin fast-forwarded through the credits and previews.

Knowing the movie was going to be rather boring, Raven meditated instead. She chanted in her head, closing her eyes as she did.

The movie was boring at first; Jack Dawson wins his way onto Titanic, and comes across a lovely girl named Rose who happened to be engaged to an idiot (name forgotten to protect the sanity).

The usual was expected from the movie: guy meets girl, guy falls in love with girl, guy saves girl, girl falls in love with guy, idiot fiancé finds out and becomes mad, ship sinks. What could be better for the first half than this?

"When do we get to the nude scene?" Beast Boy huffed as the scene of the two lovebirds dancing below decks came on.

"Soon perhaps. Why does it matter so much to you?" Raven said, looking at BB.

"I don't know," BB admitted.

"Shh…I'm watching the movie," Cy told the two talking.

Eventually the movie reached the greatly anticipated "nude" scene. Unfortunately, this version was edited, so there was not much to see.

"Aw, man, that's it?" Beast Boy demanded.

"What do you expect from a PG-13 movie? Full frontal?" Cy asked the bewildered BB.

"I heard there used to be, but it was edited so little kids, or perverts, couldn't see it in newer versions of the movie," Raven pointed out.

"It's not like we needed to see it anyways," Robin added. "That stuff doesn't interest me."

"Good for you," Raven said. She then went back to her meditating.

Halfway through, the ship finally crashed onto the iceberg. Starfire yipped in surprise at the unexpected sound of ice against metal.

"Oh, those poor people. What did they do?" Starfire said in a small voice.

"They sunk with the ship," Raven told her.

"All of them? That's so sad…" Starfire replied.

"Can we watch the movie?" Cy demanded as the scene of little children kicking blocks of ice could be seen.

The lead characters led a chase to the cargo hold, where things beyond Beast Boy's imagination occurred. His attention was called to the TV as the two lovebirds…I am sure by now that most have seen this movie and know which scene I speak of.

The two, Rose and Jack, that is, come back up to the deck after feeling the iceberg's damaging blow to the hull. Lover boy is eventually caught up to and blamed for the "stealing" of a big blue gem on a string (you know what I mean, but they don't), where he was led below decks and chained to a pipe. The whole time Starfire was holding her breath. Raven chanted away and by that time Beast Boy was nodding to the side of the couch. Cy watched with earnest.

"I wonder what will happen to Jack?" Starfire squeaked.

"I'm sure he'll be fine. They don't kill off the main characters very often," Cy commented. This made Starfire feel better.

There was a rush as people aboard the giant craft of that era sank. The lifeboats were partially filled and released.

"How can they release them without filling them?" Cy asked.

"The rich need space for their egos," Raven commented, who then went back to her meditating.

"But there is not enough room for the others. What will happen to them?" Starfire asked.

"Just watch the movie," Raven simply stated, closing her eyes and getting back to chanting.

"Ok, I will," Starfire said, settling herself back on the couch.

Eventually, the female love interest found out about the idiot fiancé's plan for her new lover and headed below deck to save him. The ship sank even further.

"I know you can save him Rose, I know you can!" Starfire and Cy cried at the same time. Beast Boy just grunted as he fell asleep on the couch, and Robin and Raven, who had broken from her trance, now exchanged a look with the boy wonder who sat between her and the Tamaranian girl on the other end of the couch.

"Is it me, or are things getting too weird in here?" Robin whispered to Raven.

"No weirder than usual," Raven replied, returning to her trance.

Rose saved her beloved, and now the two were looking to board a lifeboat, where, unfortunately for them, there was none. It looked as though the two were done for, so they climbed to the back end of the ship as it split. Cy and Starfire held their breath during the scene, making whimpering noises as the ship sang its "swan song".

"No! Rose, Jack!" Cy and Starfire cried in unison. Raven just rolled her eyes and Beast Boy talked in his sleep as the ship went under.

Rose and Jack hold hands as the current pulls them under.

"THEY'RE GOING TO DIE!" Cyborg cried as the two sunk deeper.

"Rose, Jack, you can make it!" Starfire squeaked. You could tell that the two of them (Star and Cy) were really into the movie, can't you?

Raven continued her chanting with one eye closed, the other one open just to see what the others were up to. Cy and Star were really interested in the movie; Beast Boy was long into slumber, and Robin, well…it appeared that the Boy Wonder was having trouble concentrating on the movie. He was instead looking out on the dark, moonlit sky, an elbow propped on the back of the couch to keep his head from falling over. Raven could not tell, however, if he still had his eyes open or not because of the mask. Oh well, did it matter if the black haired boy beside her watched it or not? She decided no and went back to her meditating, closing the open eye in order to concentrate.

Rose and Jack surface, and then the two reunite. Some idiot pulls Rose under and Jack knocks the guy away.

"Did those people make it?" Starfire asked.

"I don't know, just watch the movie!" Cy demanded.

"But I want it baby," Beast Boy muttered to himself as he slept. Raven looked at him. Robin also looked at him after being in a different world.

"I wonder what he's dreaming about?" Robin asked Raven.

"Not much, probably, but I do not want to know," Raven replied.

The two lovers floated as best they could in the cold water. Rose was on a door, and Jack as floating next to her. Eternity went by, and a lifeboat came. Lover girl checked to see if lover boy would respond, but unfortunately, he was a Popsicle. She let him sink as she got off the door. This saddened Cy and Starfire. Starfire was about in tears.

"No, not Jack!" Starfire sobbed. "She loves him!"

"They had to kill someone off…" Raven muttered.

"Why not the idiot fiancé instead, huh? I was starting to like Jack," Cy whimpered.

"Don't worry, I'm sure an idiot like him didn't survive long afterwards," Raven commented.

Indeed she was right, but let's not put the cart before the horse.

Rose grabbed the whistle from a floating body nearby when she heard the lifeboat's "captain" calling for survivors. Rose blew the whistle, and lo and behold, the lifeboat "captain" comes across her to save her. All the while Starfire continued to sob.

"At least they saved her," Robin told Starfire. "At least…"

"But poor Jack!" Starfire cried. "Poor Jack!"

"How can you not think of poor Jack, man? He's now sunk with the ship for crying out loud!" Cy replied sternly.

"It's just a movie!" Raven replied, shutting him up.

"But you said it was based on fact!" Cy replied.

"It is, but the main characters are fake. Titanic sunk, but Rose and Jack are fake," Raven said calmly in her deadpan voice. At that point they were showing the blue diamond part of the movie.

"What is this blue diamond, and what part does it play in this?" Starfire asked.

"If you had paid attention to the movie like I have, you'd have noticed the fiancé was giving it to Rose as a present for their wedding. It is supposed to be worth something. That is what the divers are after. Rose took it with her after the ship sank. She…why the hell is she throwing it off the boat?" Cy was saying with wide eyes as the old Rose was shown throwing the necklace overboard. "No, don't do that! That thing is worth something!"

"They'll probably retrieve it, don't worry," Robin said with a smile.

The movie was now over, and Beast Boy was now stirring.

"So, what'd I miss?" BB yawned.

"Not much," Raven said calmly.

"Really?" Beast Boy replied, surprised.

"A ship sunk, lover boy is an icicle, and Rose survived. Oh, and if you guys didn't notice, or hear, that fiancé of hers was toast after the Great Depression..." Raven said, but was abruptly interrupted by Starfire.

"What does toast mean, and why were many greatly depressed? Starfire asked rather confused by what Raven spoke of.

"Star, she's talking about an event that happened during the 1930s, where many became poor and lived on the streets. And when she says "toast", she means he killed himself when the Great Depression occurred. Does that clear things up a bit?" Robin turned to face the very confused Starfire. After what he said, however, some of the confusion on her face had diminished.

"Oh, I see…" She replied. She lowered her head.

Don't worry, Star, we all get confused," Robin reassured her.

"Yeah, like Beast Boy," Raven commented. There was a moment of silence before Beast Boy finally realized what Raven had said

"Hey, I do not!" BB exclaimed at Raven.

"Are you sure of that BB? Sometimes…" Cy started to say, but didn't finish because of the glare sent his way. "Whatever dude, whatever…"

"So…what else did I miss? Last I watched Rose and Jack were cozying up to each other in the car…" Beast Boy trailed. Raven finished for him.

"Which you really got into too. What were you dreaming about during the movie anyways? You sound like you were getting hot and heavy…" Raven interjected. This made Beast Boy flush slightly. "Don't tell me you were…"

"Okay, I admit it! I had a dream about the actress! What was her name again?" BB looked for the rental case. "Ah, it reads: Rose-Kate Winslet, Jack-Leonardo DiCaprio…ugh, that was him? I didn't think he could act…"

"He can't. The movie was rather pointless," Raven stated simply.

"You actually watched it?" Beast Boy shot in Raven's direction. This made him chuckle.

"What are you laughing at?" Raven responded madly. Black energy lifted the couch. This shut up Beast Boy, who was now cowering under a cushion. Beast Boy looked up from behind the cushion he was hiding behind, realizing too late that another cushion was flying in his direction. It hit him full in the face. This quieted the changeling. "And no, I was busy watching how you all reacted to the movie as well as concentrating on my emotions. Does that answer your question?"

"Yes, that does," BB said in a small voice, still cowering behind the same cushion as before. "I'll shut up now."

"Good." Raven closed her eyes, chanting the all-famous words in her head.

"Hey, anyone up for some pizza?" Robin asked his team, as well as his friends. Starfire lifted her head to acknowledge what he had said.

"Pizza sound fine, as long as Popsicles and such are not involved," she replied to the Boy Wonder. "It will take my mind off the very sad ending of the great Titanic."

"Yeah, I'm up for pizza myself. A movie always makes me hungry," Cy answered his leader's question.

"Just as long as there is no meat on it," BB demanded. "You know I'm…"

"Yeah, we all know you're a vegetarian. That doesn't mean you have to ruin our pizza with that awful stuff you call food called tofu. I got sick the last time I ate that crap."

"But I have been all the animals they serve! It's like they're serving a part of me.." Beast Boy would have finished if Raven's hand had not been placed on his mouth.

"We'll order our pizza, you can have your own, and Starfire can choose her own. Does that sound fair?" Raven asked the green boy next to her. He just nodded slightly. She removed her hand from his mouth.

"I guess that could work," Beast Boy replied sheepishly.

"Okay, pizza it is," Robin said proudly, but was interrupted by a loud alarm and blinking Red lights. Robin sighed. "I guess our pizza trip will have to wait. Dr. Light seems to be terrorizing the city, so we must stop him. Are you all with me?"

"You know we are," Raven sighed. Maybe this time she could calm down Dr. Light permanently. I guess the first couple of tries weren't good enough, she told herself in the head. When she looked around, she noticed her friends were already gone. Robin stood at the door.

"What are you waiting for?" He asked her calmly.

"I'm coming. I was just collecting my nerves is all." She sighed looked back one last time, then followed her leader onto fighting Dr. Light.

THE END