Peter Pan in 15 minutes

I decided to do a parody of my favorite Disney tale...Peter Pan!

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS!

John, Michael, and Wendy are in the nursing. John and Michael are playing pirates.

Mr. Darling- stop it! This dog is going outside and you Wendy are growing up! This is your last night in the nursery!

The children- No! Why father?

Mr. Darling- because it's a big plot of the story, now good-bye.

Mr. Darling drags Nana, the dog, outside and ties her up and him and Mrs. Darling go on their merry way to their party.

John- well this sucks.

Michael- SShh! I'm trying to sleep!

Wendy, John, and Michael all fall asleep and Peter Pan comes flying through the window.

Peter- shadow? Oh here shadow. Tinkerbelle go over and check in the drawers. I look over here in case he jumps out, tackles me, and conviently wakes up that good- looking chick.

Tinkerbelle goes over and gets herself locked in the drawer. Peter's shadow conviently jumps out at him and wakes Wendy up

Wendy- Peter! Oh I know you would come! I found your shadow last night! Oh I shall sew it on for you!

Peter- You're cute. What's your name?

Wendy- Wendy Moira Angela Darling.

Peter- wanna come to Neverland with me, be a mother to the lost boys, and me and maybe help me defeat Hook once in a while?

Wendy- YES! As long as my brothers can come to.

Peter-…I suppose if they really have to.

Wendy- Michael! John! Wake up!

Michael- Peter Pan?

John- Peter Pan!

Wendy- I am so grateful I shall give you a kiss!

Tinkerbelle gets out of the drawer and starts "chiming". She is yelling "I KEEL YOU!" Instead Peter grabs her and sprinkles pixie dust on them and tells them to think happy thoughts.

Wendy- We're flying!

John- amazing

Michael- dude!

Peter- Come on! Off to Neverland… conviently located at the second star to the right, and straight on till morning. Please keep your arms and legs in the tour bus at all times.

Nana- woof! Woof!

They all fly and fly, and for a change of pace they fly some more. Next we see Hook and Smee on the Jolly Roger.

Hook- Smee! I need a massage while I try to think of another lame plot to rid myself of Peter Pan!

Smee- yes captain.

Pirate # 1- Peter Pan ahoy!

(Hook curses)

Hook- load the cannons!

Meanwhile the gang stopped to rest on a cloud. Just then a cannon came flying through the cloud.

Peter- Tink! Take Wendy and the boys to the hideout! I'll stay here and taunt Hook.

(Tink takes off)

Wendy- Tinkerbelle! Wait please! You're going to fast! Stop and wait you brat!

(Tinkerbelle sped up and went and woke the lost boys)

Cubby- A Wendy bird?

Slightly- Pan wants us to shoot it down?

Lost boys- YAY! GET THE WENDYBIRD!

(They all crouch down and aim at Wendy)

Wendy falls.

Wendy- AH!

Peter catches her.

Wendy- oh Peter. You saved me you stud in green!

Peter- why did you badly dressed idiots shoot her down?

Cubby- it was all Tinkerbelle!

Peter- Tinkerbelle you are banned from Neverland forever…(Wendy whispers in his ear)…oh fine a week then. Come on Wendy I'll take you to see the mermaids.

Peter and Wendy fly off to see the mermaids while the Lost Boys take Michael and John hunting. The Indians capture them five minutes later.

Peter- Girls! This is Wendy!

Mermaid # 1- She's trying to steal our man!

(They started to splash her)

Peter- shut up! Hook's coming

Mermaids- AH!

Peter- He's got Tiger Lily the Indian chief's daughter!

Wendy- they are headed toward that big rock thingy.

Wendy and Peter fly to the big rock thingy.

Hook- Princess Tiger Lily tell me where Pan's hideout is!

(Tiger Lily tells him off)

Hook- fine! You shall drown then!

Peter- Hook!

Hook- Pan!

Peter- Hook!

Hook- Pan!

Peter- Hook

Hook- Pan!

Peter- we can do this all day if you want to.

Wendy- Peter be careful! Ouch, that's going to hurt in the morning.

Peter defeats Hook, sends the clock-eating crocodile after him, and saves Tiger Lily.

Later, everyone is dancing and the Indians made Wendy carry firewood.

Wendy- Look at her (Tiger Lily) drooling all over Peter.

(Tiger Lily kisses Peter)

Wendy- that is where I draw the line!

Wendy marches off and then we see Tinkerbelle sitting on a leaf crying. Smee comes up and traps her in his hat.

Smee- sorry Miss, but the crazed captain what's to see you.

Hook- Ah, Miss. Belle, wonderful to see you. Now let's cut the crap, where's Pan's hideout.

Tinkerbelle scoffs at him.

Hook- It's terrible the way Peter has been treating you since he brought that Wendy girl here. We could kidnap her but we need to know where the hideout is.

Tinkerbelle- I'll tell you, as long as you don't hurt Peter!

Hook- I swear not to lay a finger on him. I might "accidentally" drop a bomb down there but it's all good.

Tinkerbelle- Oh well at least it won't be on purpose.

(Shows him where the hideout is on the map)

Hook- thanks you little idiot.

Tinkerbelle- no problem….hey!

Meanwhile back at Peter's hideout, Michael and John are playing with the lost boys. Wendy tells them to get into bed for tomorrow they are going home.

Michael- home?

John- I don't want to go home.

Wendy- don't you want to see mother?

Slightly- what's a mother?

Wendy sings a little song that makes everyone cry.

Michael- screw this place I wanna go home!

John- I propose we leave at once!

The lost boys- Can we come to?

Wendy- sure why not?

Peter- fine! But you can never come back!

Everyone- ok bye!

Everyone makes their way up the stairs where Hook and his crew meet them. They are all tied up and gagged.

Hook- hahahaha (He lowers a "present into the hideout) This will blow Peter Pan right out of Neverland!

Smee- It will never work, he's loony tunes!

Hook takes them all to his ship and ties them to the pole.

Hook- who will join my pirate crew?

(Complete silence)

Hook- fine! Ladies first to walk the plank!

Michael- oh cool I love swimming!

John- shut up fool!

Meanwhile Peter opens the present just as Tinkerbelle comes flying in.

Peter- well that was unexpected, Tinkerbelle!

Tinkerbelle- I'm over here!

Peter- well get over here so we can rescue Wendy and the other people who are not as important to the story line!

Back at the ship. Wendy is ready to walk the plank.

Hook- get on with it.

(Wendy walks off)

Michael- Wendy!

(no splash)

Smee- where's the splash?

Hook- Oh my God! The ship is haunted!

Peter- guess again Hook!

Hook- oh crap!

There's Peter carrying Wendy in midair.

Peter puts Wendy down and they all fight the pirates until all of them are in the water yelling for their mummies. Tinkerbelle sprinkles the Jolly Roger with pixie dust and away they flew.

Mrs. Darling- Wendy what are you doing over there?

Wendy wakes up- what? Oh mother we're back.

Mr. Darling- back?

Wendy- from Neverland!

Mr. Darling- you're all loony tunes!

Wendy points to the sky- there's Peter steering the ship back to Neverland.

Mrs. Darling- George look!

Mr. Darling- what! Oh my! I remember that ship…from when I was very young.

Mrs. Darling- Oh George!

Wendy- Father

They all hug and then they get a shot of the ship and people start to sing, "You can fly."

The End!