Author's notes: Round Seven of the misadventures of Dr. Inasnum, George, and Boki-chan (the Seventh)!

Scribble Seven: The Lab-Ruling... Mother?

"George! You have mail!" The Doctor threw open the door to George's room, catching the vampire in the middle of getting dressed.

"GYAH!" George yelped, diving for the bed and covering himself. "Knock the next time!"

"Oh, don't be so embarrassed George. I've seen worse!" Dr. Inasnum declared cheerfully. "I'll just leave this letter on your desk. I didn't know you knew anyone from Costa Del Sol!"

"Cos-" George peered over his bedsheet. "I grew up there!"

"Ah, well and good, George." The Doc dropped the letter on the Lab-Ruling Immortal's desk and left the room.


"That's my line." George shooed Boki-chan (the seventh!) away from the desk after the doctor had left, scooping the letter up. "Hey, maybe it's from my old surfing buddies!"

George slit the letter open and plucked the sheet of paper out, going pale... well, paler than normal, at least... as he read the note. "Oh no..."

"?" Boki-chan inquired.

"Oh no...!" George yelped, darting for the door despite still only wearing his bright yellow boxer shorts. "DOC! It's an emergency!"

George collided with Dr. Inasnum in the hallway, sending scientist and Immortal to the floor with a crash.

"Good heavens, George, what's going on?" The Doc rubbed his bruised head ruefully.

"THIS!" George waved the letter in the man's face frantically. "How did this happen?"

"How did what happen? Stop talking in riddles, George!" Dr. Inasnum managed to grab the battered paper from his assistant.

"It's from my mother!" George shrieked. "She's coming! HERE! Do you have any idea what that means?"

"'Fraid I don't follow." Dr. Insnum skimmed the letter. "You haven't seen your mother in a few years, isn't that right?"

"She wanted me to go to college and become a doctor!" George wailed. "I told her I was going to school when I was just going out surfing! If she finds out I'm a friggin' vampire, it's gonna be my head on a pike!"

"!" Boki-chan yelped at the idea of its master's head on a pike.

"Oh surely you're just exaggerating, George. The woman is your mother! Your own flesh and blood!" Dr. Inasnum climbed back to his feet, fixing the upright spikes of his hair. "The woman put up with you for nearly twenty whole years!"

"Put up wi-" George caught what the man was implying. "Hey! Seriously Doc, you don't know what this means! The woman is insane! She'd scare an Immortal!"

"Clearly, given the way you're behaving, George." The Doc couldn't resist zinging the vampire again.

"Knock it off, the woman is a rampaging beast! If you let her into the complex, there won't be a moment's peace!" George wailed. "I mean it!"

"Well then, what do you intend to do about it?" Dr. Inasnum quirked an eyebrow.

"HIDE, that's what!" George turned to run back to his bedroom, stopping mid-step at a pounding at the front door. "... Oh no."

"Oh yes, I forgot to mention that letter arrived a few days ago. Didn't seem critical." The Doc noted in the long silence.

"She's... here?" George squeaked.

"Boki-chan, would you go get the door?" The Doc turned to address the ghoul.


George panicked and made good use of his powers while the Doc's back was turned.

"Come on now, George, she can't be all that bad-" The crazy scientist looked around the room in confusion. "George?"

"Um... meow." A black cat replied from the floor.

"Oh now where did he get to?" Dr. Inasnum wandered from the room.

George heaved a sigh of relief that almost came out as a purr. The Doc still hadn't caught on to his vampiric intern's recently discovered shapeshifting ability, and George hoped to keep it that way. Playing the part of the lab cat and having to eat cat food seemed a small price to pay to avoid his mother's nagging.

Meanwhile at the foyer to the doctor's complex, Boki-chan let its doom in by the front door.


"Georgie, sweetie! It's been so long since I've seen my baby boy-" The woman that bounced into the room and grabbed the ghoul in a choking bear hug was... hefty. Wearing a nice dress that did the best it could with the woman's less-than-stellar figure, and entirely too much perfume, she bore only the most minimal resemblance to the Lab-Ruling Immortal.

"!" Boki-chan freaked. "!"

"Pardon me, ma'am." Dr. Inasnum straightened his plastic black lab coat and interrupted the mother-son reunion. "That is one of my other lab assistants, Boki-chan. George is... ah... running errands at the moment!"

"Beg pardon?" The woman held Boki-chan at arm's length to get a better look at the poor bok in the dim lighting inside the building. "Oh my goodness, he looks just like my Georgie!"

"..." Boki-chan remarked.

"Somehow I suspect George would have issues with that comment." Dr. Inasnum noted, leading the woman into the complex. "He has been most helpful as my lab intern, I can assure you!"

Wow, thanks for making me look good, Doc. George peered down from the rafters.

"I was surprised to find he was working at a lab. When he told me he was attending classes at the local university and working toward his degree, I was certain he was fibbing since I checked with the school and they said he wasn't even enrolled!" George's mother bemoaned with an exaggerated sigh.

Wait, she actually stalked me to the school! George growled to himself. No wonder she knew she could find me here.

"I ...see." The Doc noted warily. "Well, I can assure you, he is working on the cutting edge of Undead research!"

"He told me he was studying medicine!" The woman protested, the first traces of displeasure entering her tone.

"I... ah, well, yes..." The doctor backed away. "I mean.. well, it is connected to medicine, I suppose-"

"My boy will be the best at what he does, so help me-!"

Dr. Inasnum was beginning to appreciate why George had reacted so poorly to news of his mother's visit as he tried to placate the burly woman. "I can assure you, as my assistant George is among the absolute BEST in his field, guaranteed a very long, very... er... prosperous life!"

"Really?" George's mother swung from displeasure to glee at a dangerous speed.

"Really! As a result of our work here in the lab, he'll easily live to 100! Easily! Lots of room for personal growth... in a few decades, he could be quite the powerful individual!"

"..." Boki-chan remarked dryly.

"Ix-nay on the ampire-vay!" The Doc hissed at the ghoul.

Please don't understand Boki-chan. Pleeeease! George pleaded silently.

George's mother looked over at the ghoul. Another long, tense silence settled over the lab, during which George wisely opted to book it and hide in his bedroom.

"Oh, you mean he's a fan of that Late Evening book about vampires that are all shiny and not evil?" The woman quirked an eyebrow.


George missed being accused of liking shiny vampires, because the Lab-Ruling Immortal was in his bedroom, the door closed and locked, and he was busy stuffing a few changes of clothes and a few paychecks worth of cash into a bag.

"I can't save the Doc, but I can at least save myself!" George muttered, pondering his limited options. "If I stick around, somebody might figure out that the cat is me... so I need to book it and find someplace to crash for a couple of days!"

Running away for a few days wasn't as easy as that, given leaving meant departing the lab complex in broad daylight and finding an inn or someplace open to undead guests.

"MY BABY IS WHAT?" His mother's voice was loud enough George swore he felt the floor shake.



Hearing both Boki-chan and Dr. Inasnum shrieking in punctuation told George he needed to leave, and fast. Covering himself in a cloak to shield himself from the daylight and shouldering his hastily packed bag, George flung the shutters to his room open, braced a foot against the frame, and dramatically hurled himself out.

Which would have looked a great deal cooler if he'd recalled he was on one of the upper floors of the complex and vampiric strength or not, falling three stories still hurts when you land flat on your face.

"Ow." George intelligently remarked to the pet cockatrice that was peering quizzically at the vampire from the safety of its little shelter.


His mother's rage, clearly audible even through the thick walls of the complex drove George to his feet and sent the Lab-Ruling Immortal running down the road just as fast as he could flee.

Inside the lab, the doctor was cowering away from the angry woman, trying in vain to hide behind Boki-chan.

"It's not a permanent condition, I promise!" Dr. Inasnum tried to reassure George's mother. "Part of the work he's been assisting me with is to find a cure for it!"

"Cure?" The woman boomed. "He's an Immortal and all he's doing is acting as a lackey for some quack doctor?"

"I-ur..." The Doc was thrown by the large woman's apparent reasoning. "What?"

"Georgie is destined to succeed in whatever he does for a career! I'm his mother, and if he wants to be a bloodsucking source of evil and darkness in the world, then MY SON will be the best there is at it!"

"..." Boki-chan squeaked.

"You-ah... you should probably ask him about that, really..." The doctor fumbled in the same tone of voice one would use when begging. "Please don't kill me!"

"Well where is he? I haven't seen my little boy since I got here!" George's mom loomed over doctor and ghoul.

"You know... I have... SCIENCE! to do... Boki-chan, go show our guest to George's room!" Dr. Inasnum quickly dove to the wreckage of his solar bamboo laser and began fiddling around with the mess.

"..." Boki-chan whimpered, gesturing to the woman to follow as it started for the stairs like one condemned.

Needless to say, his mother was most displeased by the state of the Lab-Ruling Immortal's room.

"What sort of lord of darkness lives like this?" She scowled, taking in the clutter, the posters on the wall, and the wide open window.


"HE should be the one calling the shots around here! This isn't a proper lair for a vampire, shiny or otherwise!"


"And WHERE is he?"


A quick search of the vicinity made it patently clear that the Lab-Ruling Immortal had traded in his title for the Open Road-Ruling Immortal, as it didn't take long for the woman to spot the George-shaped hole in the ground outside the window.


"He's just running errands?"


"Still! He's a vampire, he needs to act the part! Going out in daylight... absurd! I know REAL vampires don't shine in daylight, it hurts them!... Oh, I hope my Georgie is alright..."


Boki-chan looked at the demented woman that was its master's mother.

"I should go find him and make sure he lives up to his potential!"


Boki-chan looked at the open window, squinting beady eyes at the daylight.

"You're one of his servants, right? I'm sure you have some sort of arcane connection to him and can tell me where he is!"


Boki-chan the Seventh regretted nothing as it dove out the window, except that George hadn't taken the ghoul with him.