a take on "Nag Hammadi Is Where They Found the Gnostic Gospels"

The first italics are taken directly from the show, and I should give credit toward Amy Sherman-Palladino (wrote) for the first quotes and the characters. Second italics show thoughts.

transcript by Aurélie at LORELAI'S HOUSE

(Lorelai comes in the house)

LUKE: Ow! Damn it.


(She walks in the living room. Luke is standing at the broken window.)

LORELAI: Oh, Luke.

LUKE: Oh yeah. Hey.

LORELAI: How did you get in here?

LUKE: You left your bedroom window open.

LORELAI: My bedroom window is on the second floor. What did you do?

LUKE: Well, I promised to fix your window, so I'm here to fix your window.

LORELAI: Oh, my God, you cut yourself.

LUKE: Glass was broken.

LORELAI: Hence the need for fixing. I'm sorry. Are you drunk?

LUKE: I am not drunk. I do not get drunk.


LUKE: I had some beer-beers. More than one. A few. And then I came here and I climbed your tree.

LORELAI: Well, good thinking.

LUKE: And then I fell out of your tree.

LORELAI: Hm, sit down.

LUKE: I landed flat on my back. I felt like Kirk.

LORELAI: Hold your hand up in the air.

LUKE: And then I climbed back up the tree. This time I made it. I got in. Sorry about the lamp.

LORELAI: You know, Luke, you could have broken your neck.

LUKE: You know, it would have been all right if I had. I would have fixed it because that's what I do: I fix things. Even when they don't want to be fixed.

LORELAI: Let me see your hand.

LUKE: Why?

LORELAI: Because it is bleeding and I need to look at it. (Luke shows her his hand.) Ew! Gross!

LUKE: It's fine, leave it.

LORELAI: I can't leave it, it's cut.

LUKE: That's my wrist.

LORELAI: Ah, sorry.

LUKE: You're very good at this.

LORELAI: I don't like blood okay?

LUKE: So leave it alone.

LORELAI: No, I can't leave it. (Lorelai puts a Band-aid on the cut.) Do you want to tell me what happened?

LUKE: Nothing.

(Luke gets up from the couch.)

LORELAI: What are you doing?

LUKE: I'm going to fix the window.

LORELAI: Forget the window.

LUKE: I can't forget the window. I made a promise and I'm the reliable guy who helps everybody out whether they like it or not.


LUKE: Oh, yeah. Nothing I can do about it, just the way I am. It is my big problem. Didn't know it was my big problem until today, but now I know. It is my big problem. (Luke looks at his hand) Got a handful of Barbie.

LORELAI: Luke, what happened today?

LUKE: Today I found out what a big, dumb, idiot guy I am. Just an imposing, judgmental know-it-all who blows around yelling and complaining and screwing up everybody else's life.

LORELAI: I hardly think you're--

LUKE: I'm dumb. Yeah, not like Jess. Jess is smart. You know, he doesn't care about anybody else's life. He just takes care of himself.

LORELAI: Did you and Jess have a thing?

LUKE: He informed me that I am nothing but an unwelcome burden to everyone around me.

LORELAI: Luke, that's not true.

LUKE: Yes, it is.

LORELAI: Luke, stop it. Liz was just saying today how grateful she is to have you as her brother and how much she looks up to you.

Luke now shifted his weight not feeling his most comfortable- or trustworthy for that matter- to be in Lorelai's house drunk and talking about how dependable he is. "I am taller than she is."

Is Luke wittier when he's drunk? "Luke, come on. What is this? You know what your doing makes no sense, and I'm not just referring to you climbing a tree to fix my window, which by the way was very sweet even if in a drunken, haphazard state."

"What? It makes perfect sense, especially when it comes to you..."

Confused and ready for an explanation, she waits.

"I am just always butting in where I'm not needed. You and Max, you and Chris. I stuck my head in on both occasions, and you see how those relationships worked out for you." What the hell am I saying? I'm telling her everything! ...But we're friends so it's okay, right?

"Luke, don't blame those awful things on you. Both of them didn't work out for their own reasons. You didn't break up me and Christopher." Although Max I'm not so sure about. "Not everything is about you." Whoa. That came out wrong- down right harsh.

"You're right... again. Not everything is about me, and I just need to learn to stay out of peoples' lives."

"No, that's not what I meant. I just meant that those situations- those breakups- were not caused by you."

"Right, I mean how could they be, right? I've been so stupid today."

"Well, right now you're drunk so you probably don't even know of all the very interesting, revolutionary, world-changing things that you've said since I came in." Of course sarcastic. "Come here," bringing him in for a hug.

I love you, Lorelai. You've always just been here... for me when I needed you most. How can someone not love their best friend? ...How can someone not love Lorelai? ...Don't do anything stupid. Don't do anything stupid. Don't do anything stupid. Wow, she smells great.

Wow, he smells great... What? No, it's Luke, Luke, Luke. You know Luke. He serves you coffee every morning. This is not your hot, exotic lover back from the Caribbean once again. It's Luke, ...but he does smell really good. No, it's Luke- built you a chuppah, helped you find a chick, painted his diner along side you, bid on your stupid basket, went to Rory's graduation, took in that little punk of a nephew... Wow, that list just keeps going. She pulls away from him as she notices a tear steak down Stone Cold Luke's face. "Oh, Honey. Are you okay? Is it your hand?"

"No." just the fact that I'll never get my chance with you.

"Is it still what Jess said?" I hope that little punk leaves soon. How could he hurt Luke like that?

"No." Don't do it Luke. Don't be stupid.

"Well, then what is it?" I'm seriously out of guesses.

I'm never getting drunk again. I'm gonna regret this so much. "...Lorelai, I"

–And cliffhanger! Mid-sentence too! I hope your hooked. It was pretty short. Sorry. I'll try to update within a day or two. Suggestions? Questions? Comments? Please review.