Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. It belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

"Talking"

'thinking'

Broken Hat

by chairomori


"Look up!" Naruto pointed at a huge bird soaring above his head. Sakura, Kakashi, and Temari looked up. "I think that's Gaara! He's tied to the tail feathers!"

"How do we get him down? There must be an Akatsuki member with him."

"Ha! Don't worry Sakura! I always have a plan!"

"Since when?"

"Uh...that's not the point!"

'I hope this blockhead knows what he's doing,' thought Temari.

'I'll just let Naruto have his fun and step in if anything goes wrong. He's not that bad. After all, he was able to defeat me.' Kakashi flushed at the thought of his humiliating defeat when his bells were stolen.

"Okay, okay, listen!" Naruto began laying out his plan.


"Hey! The bird's getting away!"

"It was you fault! You insisted on explaining EVERY detail!"

Temari rolled her eyes. "Alright, time for phase one." She took out her fan and aimed for the bird. 'I hope this doesn't hurt Gaara.' "Kamaitachi!" A gust of wind blew upwards. "Time for phase two!"


Deidara was startled as he was thrown off balance. 'Dammit! What's going on?' He quickly landed, but the bird he was standing on was already too wobbly, so instead of a graceful landing any Akatsuki member should have, he landed on his rear. "What happened? Yeah, someone must have attacked...yeah. They'll pay." He turned to his ride. "Huh? Where's one tail? Yeah. He couldn't have disappeared. Yeah." He thought a bit. "Let's see...Kai!" He smiled in satisfactory as the forest shifted. 'Heh, amateurs.' After the scenery settled, his eyes widened. "What...is this?" He was so startled he forgot to say 'yeah.'

All the trees around were...pink? This just couldn't be. What kind of genjutsu was this? Even Itachi didn't use it.

Dareda performed the seal again. "Kai!" This time the trees were a grey color. "Huh? Kai! Kai! Kai! KAI!" Blue. Yellow. Black. Turquoise...


"Hah! I can't believe the idiot fell for it!" Naruto ran with Gaara on his back. "Hey, Sakura, where'd you learn that genjutsu?"

Sakura smirked, "Well, I did some snooping around Tsunade-sensei's scrolls and found it. I thought it's be interesting to learn."

"A genjutsu that changes every time you try to undo it. You's think and Akatsuki member would know about it," Temari muttered.

'The Akatsuki must be getting old. Well, we all have our days.' Kakashi snickered. 'I managed to copy that one.'


"Alright, they're fine now," Sakura wiped her forehead.

"Thank Kami," Temari sighed.

Gaara stirred. His eyes widened. "I'll kill you!" He called forth sand. "Wait..." he surveyed his surroundings and released the sand, "what happened?"

"We rescued you!" Naruto popped in front of his face.

"Wagh!" Gaara fell back, surprise evident on his face.

"Wow, Gaara. You must have got really weak. How'd you become Kazekage?"

"What did you say?" Gaara immediately growled.

Temari jumped up. "Gaara, you're just recovering. Please, calm down."

"Hn," he folded his arms.

"Hey!" Naruto headed toward the doorway. "I'm gonna go check out your office! See ya!"

"No! My paperwork!" Gaara ran after him. The thought of redoing all the stacks of papers scared him more than Shukaku.

Kankuro awoke. "What's with all the dust?"

"Uzumaki and our brother," Temari answered dryly.

"Oh," he stared at the doorway. 'Wait, Gaara's back?' "Gaara's back?"

"Yeah."

"He's back!" Kankuro jumped out of the bed for a victory dance. "Ouch!" Crack.

"I can't believe you fell out of bed. Is that why you sometimes have bruises in the morning?"


"Cool! You have a huge balcony! I can't believe it! The Kazekage's office is so much bigger than the Hokage's. Hey, when I become Hokage, wanna trade places?"

"Hnn..." 'As long as there isn't as much paper work...'

"Hey, Gaara! This is cool!"

Gaara turned to see what Naruto was fingering. His eyes widened. "Put that down!"

"Aw, come on. I wanna try it," Naruto put on the Kazekage's hat. "Do you even wear this thing? It's pretty big."

"Take that off!" Gaara lunged for Naruto's head.

"I'm just taking it for a trial run! Hmm, I could get used to this," he dodged Gaara.

"That hat has been with every Kazekage! It has never been replaced. If you break it..."

"Relax. Yeesh, I see you after over two years and you won't even let me try a hat?"

"You don't understand! Put it down!" Gaara summoned a mound of sand.

"Hey, no fair!" Naruto ran out of the office. He wasn't looking where he was going and accidently knocked over several stacks of paperwork. Thousands of paper collapsed.

"NOOO! All...that...effort..." Gaara looked as the last paper drifted to the floor.

"Uh, oops? Heh, heh...heh-Agh!" Naruto ran out before he was squeezed to death by the sand.

"NARUTO! I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU ORGANIZE EVERY SINGLE THING IN THIS BUILDING!" Garra chased after him.

Several Sand ANBU entered. "Kazekage-sama, we heard a noise. Is every-OOF!" The speaker was shoved aside as two teenagers pummeled past him. "K-kazekage-sama?" 'I've never seen him like this before.'

"Wah! Calm down!" Naruto shouted back while running and occasionally dodging Gaara's sand.

"NARUTO! I'LL MAKE YOU SIGN ALL MY PAPERS FOR A YEAR!"

"Noooo!" Naruto ran faster.

As the two ran by, the sand's nin would stare in shock each thinking the same thing. 'This is the Kazekage?'

When Naruto turned the corner, it all happened too suddenly. There was that Sand jounin, he was running too fast. He got closer and... "Aggh!"


Baki was discussing the casualties of the Akatsuki's attack. He ignored the commotion he heard. He'd learned that the Uzumaki brat always made a lot of it. When he saw him turn the corner he, stepped back and grabbed his collar. "What are you doing?" What he didn't expect was seeing Gaara behind him, panting and out of breath.

"Agghh! Let me go!" Naruto struggled against Baki's grip. "He's going to make me do paperwork!"

Baki raised an eyebrow.

Gaara ran towards them and punched Naruto.

"Ow! What was that for?" Naruto rubbed his cheek.

"The hat?" Gaara held his hand out.

"Hah! I was going to give it back, but now I don't think I will. Hmph!"

"Argh! That's IT!" Gaara lunged at Naruto.

"Wagh!" Naruto waved his arms. "Hey! Let go!"

Baki, not wanting to be caught in the midst of the quarrel let go of Naruto's collar. Naruto immediately ran off, leaving Gaara to trip and 'fall.'

"That's what you get for punching me!...wait...aww..." Naruto was disappointed as Gaara was rescued by a pile of sand. 'He's already mad, I don't think it'll hurt to add a little salt to the wound...' "Hey, Gaara. Since you're a little busy eating sand, I think I'll take position of Kazekage. See ya!" He zoomed off.

The sand nin were shocked at the leaf nin who dared to mock the Kazekage. But not only the Kazekage, the carrier of Shukaku. Others cried in dismay as papers and files were knocked out of order from the skirmish. Finally, one racked up the nerve to yell, "Take it outside!" Everyone was shocked at his nerve, including himself, but surprisingly, the two listened.

Gaara glared at Naruto. "Shall we?"

"Sure! After you," they exited. As soon as they passed the door, they immediately started fighting. Naruto would rather have run off with the hat, but Gaara had blocked the way with sand.


Inside the Kazekage building, Baki and the other sand nin heard the occasional yelp of pain as Naruto was hit by Gaara's sand.

"So...anyone think that leaf nin will make it out in one piece?"

"Depends, what did the kid do?"

"He stole the Kazekage's hat."

"That's it?"

"That's not all!" The ANBU that was shoved earlier spoke up. "He made a mess of all the files in the Kazekage's office!"

"The entire room was silenced. Then all voices spoke in a unit. "He's dead."


Crunch. The sound settled the dust cloud that was Gaara's and Naruto's skirmish. Two pairs of eyes headed toward the source of the sound. They widened at what was seen.

"The hat!" Two pairs of voices echoed.

The Kazekage's hat, which previously had had a pointy tip was pressed inward at the top and was bent at one side.

"W-what am I going to do? T-the council's elders, t-they might kick me o-out. I'm not going to be Kazekage anymore!" Gaara was in a state of shock.

"I-I didn't mean to !" Naruto was sweating profusely. "W-why don't we just replace it! The old geezers won't know the difference.

"They put a jutsu on the original to make sure it wouldn't be stolen! They'll know if it was replaced."

"Don't you know it?"

"Of course not! It's extremely secret. That way thieves won't duplicate it."


"It settled down."

"What do you think happened?"

"To the windows!"

There was a mad rush as the shinobi poured to the windows to see what happened. Baki stepped out. "Hey, you two done fighting?"

Gaara and Naruto immediately grabbed the hat and his it behind them. Naruto grinned nervously. "W-what fighting?"

Baki took a step closer. "What are you hiding?" Upon leaning closer, he discovered the edge of the object resembled that of the outer bit of the Kazekage's hat. "Is that the hat?"

"What hat? There's a hat?" Naruto looked around.

"The hat that was on your head moments ago."

"Oh, that hat. Well...you see..."

"It-uh-flew away during our fight." Gaara stepped in.

"What a stu-I mean yeah! It got knocked out. Bam! Away!"

"Really? Then what's behind you back?"

"My back?" Naruto stepped back. As he did, Gaara was dragged back due to his hold on the other end of the hat.

"Stop it!"

"Huh? Let go!" Naruto hissed at Gaara.

"This is your fault-you let go!"

"No, you!"

They each pulled on a side of the hat behind their backs.

Baki sweatdropped. 'What childness.'

"Naruto!" Sakura, Temari, and Kakashi arrived. "Is that the Kazekage's hat?" Apparently, Sakura hadn't seen Naruto's gestures to keep silent.

"I-it was his fault! He did it!" Gaara pointed at Naruto.

"Wha-?" 'What are they talking about?' Thought Temari.

"No way! If you hadn't tried to attack me then it wouldn't have happened!"

"You're so irresponsible! It's your fault!"

"No, yours!"

"Yours!'

"Yours!" Soon, another huge dust cloud was seen where the two were as they struggled I attempt to strangle each other.

"What are they talking about?" Sakura asked Temari.

Temari picked up the hat that had found its way out of the boys' grasp. "Stop FIGHTING!" Her right eye twitched when nothing happened. She pulled out her fan. "Hah! Kamaitachi!" Both Gaara and Naruto were hurled to the ground. "Sakura-san, would you like to help me punish these two?"

Sakura grinned evilly. "Of course."

They each took hold of an ear before Gaara or Naruto could recover from surprise.

"Ow, Temari, let go," Gaara whined.

"Yeah, Sakura-chan, please?" Naruto joined in.

They dragged the two towards Baki. "Baki-sensei, do you know what happened?" Temari inquired.

"Apparently, the two made a mess of everything."

Temari surveyed the damage-papers and files scattered everywhere and random pieces of furniture knocked over. She glared at Gaara and Naruto who were now free of anyone's grasp. "You two are going to organize everything back to the way it was. You will not leave until you do."

"But-"

"No 'buts' about it." She dragged the two by their collars and threw them in the Kazekage's office. "You'll start here!" She was about to leave when she remembered she was holding the hat. "Oh, by the way, this hat-" she pressed a piece of the straw, in a moment, it appeared brand, new, "-has a jutsu on it so it won't or can't be broken."

Gaara and Naruto stared at her wide eyed. "Oy! Temari! Why didn't you tell us sooner? Is your sister always like this?"

"Hn...I'm afraid so."

"Heh, for that, I won't let you have any food either."

"NOOOO!"


Kakashi looked up from Icha Icha Paradise. 'Hmm, wonder where everyone went'
The office was silent as Temari dragged a helpless Gaara and Naruto off. One of the shinobi laughed when they were gone. The others stared at him as if he were crazy. "Can you believe it? That was the Kazekage. That's the guy we're scared of! Hah! I can't believe I was scared of him!"

The tension in the room cracked as more shinobi joined in. "Yeah, it's hard to believe he has a demon in him after that-acting like such a child."

"Well, he is only what-15?"

"Wow, it's hard to believe."

"Hey, guess what?" All heads turned to a random shinobi. "I caught it all on tape. We can blackmail the Kazekage!'

Several snickers were heard.

"Make him clean the entire office!"

"No, make him dress like a girl!"

"I got a good one! Have him..."


"Achoo!"

"Are you okay Gaara?"

"Hn, must be the dust."

"Oh."

"Achoo! Achoo! Achoo!"

END


A/N: I apologize since this is badly written, I just really needed to clear this from my head. Concerning my multi-chapter fic-I'm going to get a few chapters done & typed before posting Chapter one which I do have finished. I assure you it will be much better written. Until next time-Ja ne!

A/N (Aug 2, 2006): I just went back and corrected a few errors. Man, I don't know what possessed me to spell Deidara as Dareda and not notice it. Weird.