D/C: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin…or any other anime, to be exact…(sigh)

Ok, folks, this is the first fic I write in which Enishi stars, I dunno if I did a good job with it, but I did give it my best shot. Hope you like it.

Enjoy!

Chapter 1:

Spring of 1879

It's been two weeks since Battousai beat me in our duel and I got sent to jail. For two whole weeks all I've been doing is sitting in my damp cell with that weirdo of a thief as my cell partner, and staring into empty space, or listening to the ramblings of my cell partner, or fantasizing about Kaoru…oh, and there's the sweat I work up every day after five hours of hard labor given to me by that bastard of a warden.

I smile when I remember yesterday; that's when Kaoru had appeared behind my cell bars with that stunningly beautiful smile on her face and broke the gloom surrounding me. I still can't believe she actually came to see me after what I've done to her and Battousai, I thought she would loathe me for that, but on the contrary, she came and started asking me about how I was doing, and if I were in good health or not, and if were eating my meals regularly…she had been an angel to me. I don't know how a bastard like Battousai wound up with a girl like her; it doesn't make any sense!

Kaoru got me a little present along; she bought me this journal, and now I'm filling its pages with my first entry. She's such a sweet, considerate person; she must've known that this cell bores the crap out of me, and she thought of getting me something which will provide me with some entertainment, and it worked, I'm starting to relax and ease off a little.

Thinking of Battousai makes me remember our last duel. Battousai beat me. He beat me even though I've spent years of training in China. All my work, my effort was gone when Battousai beat me. I've wasted more than ten years of my life and in the end I couldn't even harm Battousai…I couldn't avenge Tomoe…she protected him though; she came and shielded him when I was about to perform my final blow, the blow which would've definitely killed off Battousai and rid the world of him for good…but she came and protected him…

I don't understand. Why would she protect him? Wasn't he the one who had killed her so brutally when she was only trying to help? Wasn't he the one who stole her happiness and ended her life? Wasn't he the one who had killed Akira, her fiancé? So, why…just why…did she get out of her way to save him again! That bastard doesn't deserve to live, he didn't deserve Tomoe and will never deserve Kaoru. The least of what should've happened to him was having him end up in this cell with this lunatic of a thief instead of me. But that didn't happen; people think highly of the great Battousai, they consider him a hero…some hero…

Tomoe…

I still remember the day he killed her ever so clearly. I stood and watched every single thing…every little detail…I would've done something and rescued my sister if my limbs hadn't been so paralyzed. I saw her move between Kenshin and that guy, I saw her grasping the dagger out of the man's hand, I saw Battousai slashing through the length of my sister's back, I saw the blood…

There was too much blood; the blood of the man and the blood of Tomoe, but most of it Tomoe's. There was blood everywhere. The snow was no longer white, it had become deep red; the color of Tomoe's blood. Ever since then, I've hated the colors red and white…but unfortunately for me, my hair turned white and all what I could see before me was red…anger, hatred…

I saw Tomoe lift up her hand, and when she did, some hope made its way to my heart; hope that she would be okay; that she wouldn't die…She lifted up the dagger and cut Battousai's cheek, completing the cross-shaped scar on his face. Then her hand fell back to the snow, and she never moved again…and from that moment on, I vowed to cut Battousai as well…vowed to slice him in two, to kill him just like he killed Tomoe…

But I failed…I failed miserably…I've failed Tomoe; I didn't keep my promise. She's angry at me now, I'm sure of it…she'll never smile down on me again, not ever. I wanted to make her proud, but I shamed her, and I shamed myself. The only good thing about this dark cell is that it allows me to wallop in my own shame without anyone looking at me and pitying me or feeling sorry for me…I hate it when people feel sorry for me, it makes me feel weak, and I'm not weak. I'm strong…only I've found out that Battousai is stronger…he's stronger because he's got Kaoru on his side…heck! He's even got Tomoe on his side! And me? Who have I got?

I've got nothing…I've got no one…I'm all alone…I always was, and always will be…

I'd give anything to go back in time…to go back to the time when our parents were still alive, and when Tomoe was still alive, and as beautiful and blooming and happy as ever…to the time when there was no Himura…

But that's not possible, or I wouldn't be sitting in this tiny cell with that madman, and Tomoe wouldn't be dead, and Himura wouldn't be out there with Kaoru…he might be even dead…

The warden is calling lights-out in ten minutes, and I've got to finish this entry now. Once again, I repeat…Kaoru is a total angel. Only angels would be sweet enough to come check upon people who have harmed them…

You know…maybe I'm not so alone after all…

A/N: Alright, how was that for my first chappie? It's full of angst, I know…but that's how Enishi is. Anyway, if you have any comments on the story, then please review…and if you liked the story, then please review as well…oh, and wait for my second chapter!

-ZEN.