Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, events and/or places that are recognized as being written and created by J.K. Rowling. J.K. Rowling owns all the characters and places from the Harry Potter books including the ones used in this story.
A/N: Hello! Ok, so this story is mainly about the developing romantic relationship between James Potter and Lily Evans, resulting in the obvious. Whether Remus and Sirius end up together...will not be revealed, yet. It's a will they or won't they fic! This idea popped into my head after nights of searching for Sirius fanfiction and finding only Sirius/Remus fanfiction. If you're dying to know if this will be slash or not, click on my name and then see my other fics (especially Love Bites) to see how I tend to like my Remus. However, you will have to read to see what will truly happen between the pups in this story. Read on, if you desire!
Remus Lupin sat at his desk, his back stiff and his hands folded neatly against his chest. Advanced Charms Volume II was propped up in front of him, and everything from his eyebrows down was shielded from the rest of the world.
That's how he liked it.
No one staring at the scars spread deeply across his face. No one trying to probe him for answers to their homework. No notes being lobbed at his head by his friend Peter Pettigrew, who lacked even the slightest notion of subtlety when it came to the art of note passing.
Sitting at his desk during the sixth year Gryffindor's study period, Remus smiled to himself. Another plus of being practically swallowed by an oversized piece of literature; he could smile about nothing and not have to explain to the commas and semicolons staring at him why.
Remus just felt happy. Despite the fact that he was a quiet, passive sixteen year old, who was hiding a monthly disease that would stay with him forever; Remus was happy.
He had friends. Good friends. He had a home away from his real home where he felt comfortable at. He was accepted in a world that normally shunned his kind.
Once a month, he was a werewolf, a feared monster. The 352 other days of the year, he was Remus Lupin, he was normal, and he was happy.
Normal. Everyone, besides his closest friends, considered him normal.
Remus smiled again as he turned the page of his book; filling the silent room with the sound of paper scraping across wood.
Lost in the brand new words in front of him, Remus didn't hear Professor McGonagall announce the end of the study period or the burst of students slamming books shut and releasing the suppressed laughter they had held in over the entire hour.
It wasn't until he felt a thin, soft hand swiftly moving back and forth on his head, tangling its fingers in his shaggy, golden brown hair, that Remus noticed the class was over. Remus jerked his head to the side and looked up.
Sirius Black's hand hovered over Remus; a mischievous smile spread across his face, even spilling into his misty grey eyes. "Class is over, Moony. Time for dinner. Yum, yum. Come and get it!" Sirius laughed, his dark hair whipping into his face, as he took step in the line of Gryffindors leaving the room.
Remus gently closed his book, running his fingers seductively down its spine, before he placed it into his bag.
"Did you see, Moony? Were you watching?" James Potter, the third and last of Remus's very best mates, screamed, jumping up and down, practically knocking Remus's desk over.
"No, I wasn't, Prongs. What happened?" Remus used his foot to straighten his now crooked desk.
"Lily!" James shouted. He quickly clasped his hand over his mouth, head flying around the room. James sprinted to catch up with Remus, who had walked away laughing. "So, Moony," James continued, as the two began walking towards the Great Hall. "You mean to tell me that you were actually studying during study break?" Remus opened his mouth. A squeak escaped before James trudged ahead. "Don't answer that, of course you were."
Remus turned red slightly, but laughed it off. His friends knew him too well. Remus played by the rules. Remus studied during a period dedicated to it. "What did I miss?" he asked James, who's brown eyes were begging to be questioned.
"Evans was passing notes…to me! Me! The boy she hates!" James could barely contain his glee, and he forgot all about keeping his voice down. He started walking backwards facing Remus, skillfully not bumping into anyone. "We were passing notes back and forth for the entire class."
"That's great, Prongs. What did she say in the notes?"
"I don't remember," James said, shrugging. Remus could see, behind the glare of James's glasses, his friend's eyes once again carried that strange faraway-drowning in love look that James often got when Lily came into his mind; a look Remus was glad to admit that he has yet to feel blazing in his own eyes. He was logic. Seeing the world in a haze of foggy hormones was not something Remus thought to be healthy.
James practically twirled as he took back his place next to Remus. "Evans passed notes to me," he whispered, more to himself, in complete awe of the situation. James, as level headed as he was, lost all sanity when Lily Evans did anything; especially if that anything had something to with her being civil to him.
Remus laughed, and stuck his hands into the pockets of his robes. He immediately realized that the usual prick he felt from the feathers of his favorite quill didn't happen. He stuck his hands deeper into his pockets. The quill wasn't there. Remus started to frantically stick his hands in and out of the many pockets in his robes.
Swinging his backpack around, so that it was now strapped across his stomach, Remus ripped the zipper back, and shifted through the books.
"James," Remus said, stopping in place and closing his bag up. James halted and spun around, his eyes still glazed over. "I think I left my quill in the classroom. I'll meet you later in the Hall."
"Alright, mate," James said, with a nod. Remus walked briskly back to the Transfiguration room.
Remus's perfect eyes immediately locked on the tip of his quill, sticking out from underneath the desk he was sitting at. Bending down to pick it up, Remus caught eye of something else lying on the floor.
It was a piece of parchment, folded in half multiple times. Remus barely made out the name 'James' written in perfect cursive across the top.
Remus crawled under his desk, and stretched his arm out. The tips of his fingers grabbed a corner of the parchment, and he slid it over to himself. Remus stood up, tucking his quill safely back into his pocket, and slung his backpack over his shoulder.
Up close, there was no denying that the printing on the front of the note was unmistakably scrawled by Lily Evans. Remus snuggled the thick parchment into the safest pocket of the inside of his robes. Remus thought that James would probably like to keep the note; so he could one: obsess over it, and two: have a reminder that the great Evans paid attention to him once. Making sure everything was in order, Remus made his way back to the Great Hall.
Remus couldn't help but feel curious about what Lily could have possibly said to James. But, he wouldn't look. It wasn't his place to intrude on the messages forever frozen in ink. Knowing James, though, he would probably call an ultra important Marauders meeting later that night, where he will dramatically, make that overdramatically, read every word written on that parchment. Remus could wait.
The Great Hall was filled with noisy students and scented waves of delicious foods. Remus's stomach gave a rough lurch, making him hurriedly scan the Gryffindors table for his friends. James, Peter and Sirius sat right in the middle of the table, stuffing their faces. James sat across from Sirius, who was seated next to an empty place, thoughtfully saved for Remus. Though when he noticed Peter, spitting food particles at the empty plate, while he attempted to talk with his mouth brimming with potatoes, Remus knew that the only thought put into the seating arrangements was, "I don't want to sit across from Wormtail."
"Hello," Remus said, taking his seat next to Sirius.
"Moony," Sirius squealed. He flung himself at Remus, who began laughing in hysterics. Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus's torso. "I thought McGonagall took you! To use you for some horrific transfiguration sacrifice, where she'd make you take off your jumper!" Sirius pulled away from Remus and narrowed his eyes at him. "You're too thin, Moony" he said, all joking vanished. He pushed the plate of potatoes closer to Remus. "You officially have my permission to gorge."
"Thanks," Remus muttered. He began neatly placing food onto his plate. He was never much of an eater, but he would do anything if it stopped his friends from worrying about him.
"Padfoot," James called. His eyes shifted to Remus and than back to Sirius. "Didn't you have something to ask Remus?"
"Oh, yeah," Sirius mumbled, putting his fork down. Sirius turned in his chair, so that he was facing Remus. Remus turned his confused look from James to Sirius, who had suddenly gotten very close. Sirius's Adam's apple moved up and down, as he swallowed, and his face adopted a look of nervous apprehension.
"What is it, Sirius," Remus said, with concern.
"Remus," Sirius started. "Will you…cut my steak for me? Prongs won't let me have a knife."
"For good reason," Peter spoke up. "Last week you tried to fling it at Snape."
"Snivellus's nose makes a wonderful target," Sirius said, casting a dreamy look over his shoulder towards the Slytherin table.
Remus sighed and laughed at the same time. "Push your plate over here," he reluctantly said. Sirius squealed, and, momentarily, swapped his and Remus's plates. "Why do I have to do this anyway?" Remus grumbled, picking up his own knife.
"Because, you're the only one who would do it, Moony," James said, openly laughing at Remus. "Or should I say mother Moony," he added, elbowing Peter, who looked like he was torn between laughing at Remus and shooting Remus a sympathetic look.
"Moony just loves me more than you lot," Sirius exclaimed, sticking his tongue out at his friends.
"Moony just doesn't want to feel the wrath of Padfoot, if he didn't comply with his demands," Remus commented, as he carefully sliced Sirius's steak into equal bites. Remus handed the plate back to Sirius, who winked at him and returned Remus's plate to him with a smile. Remus couldn't help but smile back.
Springing out of their moment, Sirius and Remus, joined by Peter and James, turned towards the intruder. Who happened to be a nervous looking Lily Evans.
James's hand flew to his hair, his fingers vigorously pulling at the black locks. His cheeks went up in unflattering flames. Peter tried to mentally tell him to not to play with his hair, because it looked ridiculous. Remus placed his utensils neatly next to his plate, looking up at Lily with expectant eyes. Sirius stuffed his enormous mouth with an even more enormous piece of cow.
"Lily?" Remus spoke up; when it became apparent that Lily lost her tongue.
"Oh," Lily said, life springing back to her. She finally allowed her eyes to move from their hold on Remus and Sirius. She glanced at James, a light sparking deep in her eyes. "I, I, ahem. I just wanted to tell you two that, that I'm very proud of you. And, that, that I think that you're setting a great example for everyone and that…well, I won't tell anyone. Your secret's safe with me."
Remus coughed; when it became apparent that Lily lost her mind.
"And," Lily continued, completely ignoring the various stares she was receiving from the boys in front of her. "And I don't think you're any different because of…of what you are. I'm just-" Lily waved her hand between Sirius and Remus.
Sirius, who seemed quite amused by the whole thing, slapped his arm around Remus's neck. "We're very blessed," he said, shrugging at Peter.
Lily beamed at him, and then turned her blinding smile at Remus, who had a look on his face like he was about to either pass out or burst into tears. Lily looked down at James, who had never taken his eyes off of the red head since she appeared. "I'll talk to you later, James. In the common room." Lily's voice was determined and definite, though a small pinkish hue colored her cheeks.
"Guk," James managed, nodding. "I mean, of course. See you there." James spun back around in his chair to face his friends. "Did you see that?" he practically shrieked. "She really fancies me, I think. I hope! What do you think Pads? Moo-ny…? What's the matter?" James peered over at Remus, who sat diagonal from him. Remus shrugged his shoulders roughly, propelling Sirius's arm off of him.
"Sirius," he said, turning to look him dead on.
"She has to know," Peter took over, the only other one who was actually listening to what Lily was saying. "She must know…about Remus."
"Does she Sirius?" Remus asked his voice low and wobbly. "Did you-"
"Moony," Sirius said, placing his hand firmly onto Remus's shoulder. "I didn't say a word to her honest. I swear on…on…the Marauder's Map."
"She is smart," Peter squeaked, breaking the reverie between Sirius and Remus. "She probably just figured it out. Or, maybe she wasn't talking about…that…?"
Remus nodded, but narrowed his eyes at Sirius one last time.
"I thought you forgave me, Moony?" Sirius whined, referring to the incident four months ago, when he tricked Snape into seeing Remus at his very worst, and causing the Slytherin to now become aware of the werewolf everyone was hiding.
"Forgave, but not forgot," Remus said. He smiled at Sirius though, to reassure him that he didn't really care about that anymore.
"What was Lily saying, anyways?" James asked.
"Too busy staring at her…ahem," Sirius puffed his robes out at his chest, and wagged his eyebrows at James.
"If that motion is sign language for hair? Then, yes."
Sirius rolled his eyes at Remus. "Chest hair," he whispered to the chuckling boy next to him.
"Lily was going on about how she knew about Remus," Peter spoke up, smiling slightly as James gave him his full attention. "She said that she accepts him."
James immediately glared at Sirius.
"What are you new?" Sirius asked, in a bored voice. "We've just been through this." He pointed his finger at himself and Remus. Remus didn't look up. He started swirling his fork around his food, prodding the larger pieces with no intention of ever eating any of it. "Oh, Remus," Sirius cooed, nudging his friend in the shoulder. "Don't dread on it, mate. Evans is a bloody genius busy body who probably keeps tabs on where everyone within five feet of her goes at all moments of the year. Compare that with the lunar chart she most likely has tattooed on her arm, or thigh for those who wish to imagine that-" Sirius shot a mischievous glance at James, who appeared less than amused. "And…there you go."
"Sirius," James said, sitting up straight in his chair. Trying his hardest to appear rough and menacing to a group of boys who have seen him in a huddled, drunk mess unable to do more than hiccup and laugh. "I don't think it's wise to speak poorly about Lily in-"
"She totally has the hots for you, Prongsy."
"-front of me…really? You think so? I mean, why wouldn't she?"
"Well, maybe because you're arrogant, and a show off. And sometimes you can really be a-"
"That's enough, Wormtail." James leaned his elbows on the table, resting his chin on top of his knuckles. "Why she had to wait till the last week of school to speak to me is beyond comprehension."
"Think of it this way, Prongs," Remus said, finally forgetting about Lily. So what if one more person knew about his transformations; and it wouldn't be like Lily to go blabbing to everyone about it, anyways. No need to worry about it. "You're lucky because now you have the whole summer to write back and forth to her."
"And we're lucky because we'll have the whole summer to not have to hear about it," Sirius added, smirking.
"You live with me, Padfoot."
"Tough luck, Sirius," Remus laughed, as he stood up. Dinner was ending, and all along the table, students were beginning to leave the Great Hall. Sirius followed Remus, James and Peter, scooping up his books with one arm.
"Maybe I'll come live with you then, Moony," Sirius said, once the four boys were out of the noisy room. "We can frolic nude through the woods!" Sirius began skipping backwards, knocking over a couple first years as he went. Normally people knew to move when they saw Sirius coming. It wasn't that he was clumsy. Nobody can skip backwards successfully in army boots.
"I don't frolic," Remus said, nodding apologetically to the first years, his prefect gene clicking in.
Sirius shifted and fitted back in line behind James, and in front of Remus. "Then we'll walk nude through the woods."
"Much better," Remus deadpanned.
James spun around and shot his two friends a disgusted look. "Sirius, you told me the only kind of nude is frolicking nude. And you can't leave me! Think of the children!"
Sirius laughed and clapped James on the back. Silently telling him that he wasn't going anywhere else this summer; James's mom is too good of a cook to leave that situation.
"Merlin's beard," Peter shouted, to open the portrait into Gryffindor tower. "Well," he said, turning around to face his friends. "I'm off to bed."
"It's only six," Sirius pointed out; offended that anyone would waist a perfectly good night by going to sleep. Peter shrugged, yawned and marched off towards the sixth year's boy's dorm room.
"Quidditch, Pads?" James suggested, dropping his books down on a table. The house elves would return them to his room later, a fact he and Sirius more than often abused.
"Certainly," Sirius nodded, putting his things on top of James's. "Coming Moony?"
"No," Remus answered. "I think I'll go read for a little bit."
"You feeling all right?" James asked, making a show of examining Remus's face.
"Yes," Remus said, swatting James away. "Just tired."
Sirius nodded. "Come on Prongs. Let's leave the boy to his literature." James laughed and hit Remus softly on the side of his head as he passed. Sirius stood still, starring at Remus.
"Go, Padfoot," Remus said, laughing at his friend's face.
"Don't let Evans get to you," Sirius whispered. He gently knocked his shoulder into Remus's and then sprinted off after James.
Remus shook his head in amusement and climbed the stairs to his room. Walking into his dorm, he stopped as he saw a half dressed Peter hanging off the side of his bed. "Lose something, Peter?"
Peter shot up, looking red. "I can't find my wand! I just put it there for a moment," he shouted, pointing to the foot of his bed. "Where could it have gone too?"
Remus made his way over to his own bed, quickly wiping the annoyed look off his face. "I'll help you look," Remus said. The room was stuffy, and he needed to lose a layer, fast. He quickly took off his school robes; foregoing the clasp, and just pulling it over his head. The force from the robe flipping off his body and smacking onto his mattress was enough to dislodge James's and Lily's forgotten note from his front pocket. Remus picked it up. His immediate plan was to place it on James's bed for him to find when he returned. Of course Remus, to spare James's ego, would make sure to mention that it was the note from earlier and not a new one. That was Remus's plan. However, the parchment had opened up when it fell, and a certain name written in the note caught his attention.
"Found it," Peter sang out, springing from behind his bed, his rediscovered wand clasped tightly in his fist. "It got tangled in my blanket."
"Uh," Remus managed, as he sank down onto his bed. His fingers were twitching, shaking. His eyes locked themselves on his name, every other word around it blurring into gibberish. That was mainly because he felt wrong. He felt horrible for even opening the note. His stomach muscles twisted, but for a whole different reason. He began coming up with reasons for why Lily and James would need to pass notes about him. Maybe they decided to have children and name their fist born son after him. Maybe he was drooling while he was reading and Lily felt the need to make fun of that. Maybe they knew someone else named Remus, and this Remus was being entirely too panicky about the whole thing. But then Remus thought about what Lily said at dinner. And not knowing what they wrote about him got that much more unbearable.
"Well, I'm turning in," Peter yawned, reminding Remus that the world didn't stop.
"Peter?" Remus ventured. He needed someone to assure him that what he was about to do was not against all the rules of friendship and maraudership.
"If, um, if you found something…something one friend wrote to…well, another one of their…one of your acquaintances, and it was a private note between the two…and you found it, would you, uh, would you read it?" Remus swallowed hard, pushing the parchment underneath his pillow.
"What?" Remus choked out.
"Yes," Peter repeated. "I would read it."
"Oh." Remus paused. He ran his fingers through his hair. The last thing he expected was blatant honesty. "Thanks," he said, for some reason.
"No problem. Night." Peter smiled and closed the drapes around his bed.
Remus pushed himself closer to the middle of his bed, and pulled his drapes closed around him. He just sat there for a moment. Thinking about all the things James would do to him if he found him reading his note from Lily. None of the possible outcomes resulted in him breathing. Then a little voice rose in his brain, mentally slapping him. There was no way, no possibility, that James would last a minute with this note and not have Sirius and Remus read it. Help him dissect every word. It's happened before. James is all emotions. James might even frame the stupid note and hang it on the wall. So, it wouldn't be that bad if Remus read it, and then placed it on James's bed. So what if he had to fake surprise and interest when James gathered the Marauders around for story time. He could do it. Lying, unfortunately, was something Remus reluctantly had perfected.
Quickly, Remus pulled the note from under his pillow and opened it, so that it was spread out as a full sheet in front of him. Maybe he would just read a little bit. His eyes fell on the biggest chunk of words. It was Lily's handwriting.
Study periods are not boring, Potter. Not if you do more than stare into space. But, I digress. I actually wanted to tell you something. I've come to realize that you're not as horrifying as I previously assumed. Under that smug, egotistical demeanor you insist on applying, is actually a nice, thoughtful guy that I wish would come out more. I mean I've always thought you were…you're the one I watch during the Quidditch matches. And, I don't understand why you make such an arse out of yourself, or why you hang around with Black. But, I suppose he isn't that bad. I mean if someone as level headed as Remus is with him, you know? They, in fact, are what made me change my mind about you. The fact that you're still friends with them, that you didn't shun them, shows me that understanding, loyal man you're capable of being. Remus and Sirius, your best friends, are in love with each other, and where I thought you would flee, you did the opposite. And…well, I'm babbling. But, if you ever want to talk…I'd always listen.
The parchment fell out of Remus's fingers. He became incapable of blinking. His eyes were stuck open. Until he passed out.