Adventurer Xander
by Chaoseternus

Note: I do not own, nor do I claim ownership of characters/concepts from Buffy The vampire Slayer or the Anarchy Online MMORPG

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‘Geez... 18 th century noble women? How obvious can you get buff?'

Shaking his head at the slayer, Xander walked further along, gazing this way and that as he tried to find the perfect costume, or At least, the perfect ten dollar costume.

Plastic guns… Well, maybe as standby... Marvel costumes... Cool, but I don't even need to look at the price tags... hmmm... nice black cloak... real nice in fact, just four dollars, Cheap, I'll have to remember its there. Bunch of random armour pieces, heh, mostly broken or pretty well used. Nothing good there.

Oh, swords!

Nice ones too, if these were real, well, they would certainly slice and dice.

Hmm, weird one at the bottom there. Make that weird pair of swords, sharply curved, and etched with flames and fire...


Swords marked with fire, black cloak, armour helmet… nahh, I couldn't, nobody would ever figure out what it was. Five Dollars for the swords, one for the helmet, four for the cloak, hell, I could actually do it.

Heh, better then a Soldier that's for certain, besides the character type kinda suits me.

Groaning, he rose swiftly to his feet.

"Troxhead... that's worse then a reclaim headache, I must really have gotten plastered last night" Blinking, he glanced around. He blinked again, and took a real long look around.

“"Well Alex, you really aren't on Rubi'ka anymore are you?”"

“"Xander! Xander!”"

Grimacing, Alex glanced around as a young lady in a strange, revealing outfit ran towards him, screaming some name he hadn't heard before. He shrugged the outfit off, having seen an Atrox wearing nothing but a thong, it would have taken a lot more then that to faze him. Yeah, Alex sarcastically reminded himself, like seeing the same Atrox wearing a wedding dress…. He shook the image out of his head, but it was difficult. He suspected it was a lost cause, after all seing one of the sexless, dull brutes wearing the dress was why he had gotten drunk in the first place and all that drink hadn't gottent he image out of his head, so he rather suspected nothing would.

Except maybe the young lady stumbling and passing through him.

Alex rather suspected he had set a new record for himself as his swords rose, ready in front of him in an eyeblink.

Damn, he had seen some weird things on the Notum infested Omni dominated hellhole that was Rubi'ka, but beings passing through him was new.

Damn it, he should have buffed up as soon as he found himself in a strange place, he would be in real trouble if a real opponent, maybe some Omni flunkey came along now.

“"What in notums name are you?”"


His eyebrows rose, dressed up for Halloween? Well, he knew it was possible to change forms, he did that quite often, but what she was talking about would require personality transfer at least...

“"Bloody Omnitek!"” He had little doubt that those corporate clowns were involved with this; after all, nobody knew more about body transfer and reincarnation and the meta-physical technologies then them. At least, no-one that he was aware off.

“"Fine, I'll buff up then we'll go after this Enforcer Buffy and the Meta-physicist Giles okay?”"

“"Enforcer? Meta-physicist?"” Willow asked, but Alex just ignored her, he was too busy casting nano-programs. To Willow, it looked as if her lifelong buddy had suddenly learned magic and become quite adept at it.

“"Damnit”" Alex cursed as he suddenly came under attack, a swarm of Rollerrat sized monsters trying to claw their way through his looted Exarch robe, “"couldn't have waited till I had finished buffing could you?”"

“"Wait, they're kids!”"

Growling, he kicked one of the monsters away from him and turned to Willow, “"how do I kill these?”"

“"You can't! They're children that were turned into their costumes”"

Alex glanced at her eyes and saw no sign of doubt, that combined with his almost instinctive desire to trust her made him sigh, and turn back to the monsters, his calmer loaded into his Nano Controlling Unit and executing like crazy.

“"I am going to need to refill my Nanopool after this"” he grumbled, kicking a pint sized monster back into the path of the calmer he had just cast.

Finally, he turned to the somewhat wide eyed ghost and sarcastically said, “"There, calmed, happy?”"

Willow just glanced around at the still, sleepy monsters and nodded, mutely.

“"Good, then where…”"

A scream made him look up to see a young lady in an elegant red gown run around the corner, chased by a horde of monsters.

“"A train. Oh joy”"

“"That's Buffy! In the red dress”2

A double groan; couldn't just run away then and there were far too many to calm. The swords rose as Alex prepared to meet the train of monsters, just hoping he would be able to give the girls enough time to get away before he found himself at reclaim.

“"The tall ones you can kill!”"

Ahh... perfect.

He swung once at the nearest tall monster and the thing fell to the ground, swiftly consumed by the fire from his Sol Fire Executioners, exploding into dust in seconds. Alex grinned, he knew there was a reason he loved those, despite it being illegal to import them to Rubi'ka.

He swung again, and another monster dusted. Again... again...

Uncertain now, the mob almost as one took a step back and began exchanging somewhat wary glances. Alex swung a fifth time and a fifth monster vanished into dust. In unison, the mob turned and fled.

“"What type of monsters were those?”" Alex asked, turning to Willow, who had a quivering Buffy at her side.

“"Vampires... what kind of swords are those? It usually takes beheading, a wooden stake to the heart or fire to kill those”"

“"Fire?”" Alex smiled, yeah he really loved his swords now, "“these things have nanobots on the blade edge which attack any wounds the blade causes, making the material around the wound ignite”"

Willow blanched, but gestured ahead anyway, “"Buffy's house is this way”"

“"Then that's where we'll camp, lead the way"” Alex ordered, glad that he seemed to be the highest level of this group. That Willow... something about her just screamed NanoTech, but she didn't show any signs of using such technology. Must be new, or unskilled. That Buffy though, he really hoped it was just the weirdness making her such a Leet, otherwise she was just roadkill. Something about her twigged his sense though, he couldn't pin it down but she was definitely a Tank, be it Martial Artist, Soldier or Enforcer there was something about her that screamed fighter, despite current appearances.

“"This is not me! I wouldn't dress like that harlot in the painting!”"

Alex sighed, she was really getting on his nerves. And now she seemed set on charging out of the house in disgust, and well, he couldn't have that.

“"What did you do to Buffy?"” Willow asked, outraged.

Alex shrugged, "“just calmed her, she will be fine, relax... in fact, I think you need to waltz over to this ‘Giles' and see if he can figure out what or who is causing this notum infested dream”"

A blue light hit her as she dived through the walls of the house and Willow found herself running, fast. Like Buffy in a hurry fast. Like, Buffy on speed and running to prevent an apocalypse fast.

It took Willow all of fifteen seconds to figure out that Xander... Alex had used some kind of speed boaster on her. It took her far longer to figure out how to stop.

Alex was woken up from a light doze as Willow crashed into the room.

“"Did Giles know how to end this?”"

“"He's heading for Ethan's, Cordelia came by and she wasn't turned. We were able to figure out that it was only those who got their costumes from him who have been effected plus Giles seemed to know and loathe the guy and why is Angel calmed?”"

Alex shook his head, “"Willow, breathe, air needed to live and talk. You know this guy?”"

“"Yeah, he's Angel and he's good, only one with a soul”"

“"Right”" Alex glanced at Angel's eyes and decided not to risk it, “"well he won't mind waiting here till we got this mess sorted out then. Keep the wimp here too”"

Alex ran from the house, his swords carving red lines through the air as he raced towards his destination, the shop known as Ethan's.

Not even slightly winded, he came to a stop outside the shop, glad one more of his innate ability as an Adventurer to find his way, always. Then, a feral grin crossed his face as he comtemplated scare tactics, ‘these guys don't seem to have Nanotechnolgy, so lets see if they can recognise a polymorph…'

A few seconds of casting later it was done, and Alex padded into the shop.

Ethan gleefully raised his pint glass into the air, his eyes leaving the scrying mirror which was showing him the chaos he was causing for just a moment to rest on his beer, raised in celebration.

He stilled, "was that a..."

A growl sounded behind him, and with a gulp Ethan slowly turned around.

Behind him was a cat, a big cat.

A great big honking black pelted sabre-toothed tiger of a cat.

Ethan gulped, “"Nice kitty…"

Damn, he knew he hadn't sold that costume, maybe this thing escaped from the local zoo in the chaos?

“"End the casting”"

The voice was guttural, deep, growlly and threatening, it swiftly dispelled Ethan's notion of this being an escapee. Whoever this was, they were human under this. He decided to try bluffing it out.

“"I'm afraid I don't have a clue what you're talking about”"

The cat seemed to think about this for a moment, them with a paw it casually knocked one of the empty mannequins over and placed its jaws over the dolls head.

The colour fled from Ethan's face as the shattered plastic that was once the mannequins head dropped to the floor at his feet. He couldn't mistake that message.

“"Statue of Janus... destroy it”!"

A yellow glow passed over him and Ethan knew no more.

“Coward” Alex cursed as he dropped the Sabretooth form to make it easier to manoeuvre in the tiny shop, “"Now where's that bust?”"

Xander smiled, his eyes following the girls as the walked from the Library celebrating the end to the chaos and the return to themselves.

He was about to run and follow them when a line of green text crossed his sight, ‘Nanoprogram Shield: Lure of the Pincushion Terminated, 103 of 140 Nano Controlling Units used'

What the fuck? He asked himself, but shrugged it off. He was imagining things, he had to be.