Chapter Five- A Fine Line Between Love and Hate


Gaara nearly slammed his front door, grabbing hold of the knob again just before the door hit the frame. Slamming the door would not make his father happy at all, and an unhappy father was an abusive father. He refrained from stomping up the stairs and from slamming the door to his room, dropped his bag on the floor and sprawled out on his bed.

This was wonderful; now Sasuke knew where he lived and could drive over at any time he wanted. Great, he'd always wanted to be stalked by an arrogant asshole.

Oh come on, he's never actually done anything bad to you. His mind put in.

Maybe not to me directly, but what about what he did to Sakura? And all those other girls? And he always makes fun of Naruto.

Since when do you care about Sakura or anyone else at school?

I don't care; I'm just using that as an example of his pure evilness.

Pure evilness huh? Since when did you become so paranoid about everything? Someone's actually being civil to you and trying to make friends and you're pushing him away.

He is not 'trying to make friends'! He's trying to…to…do…something.

Well that's a good reason. What's the worst that could happen if you say yes anyway? It's not like your life can get any worse you know.

Gaara frowned, got off his bed, and turned on his stereo. His mind was being evil again; it was going to get him hurt. And on the subject of his mind, he decided it probably wasn't normal to have conversations with a voice in his head and he should probably be on some medication. But he didn't have any of that, so his music would have to do for distracting him.

Gaara sighed as he trudged up the library stairs and over to the tables. His teachers seemed hell bent on piling as much homework as they could on their poor students, he was sure he'd be doing it until the last bus was leaving. At least there were less people than there usually were; in fact, he hadn't seen anyone else other than Shizune.

He set his bag down next to the table and kneeled down to dig through it looking for his social studies textbook. It was definitely going to be the most difficult subject, he still needed to finish memorizing all the countries and capitals in Asia and then write a 1000 word essay about China's economy.

"Shit!" He hissed and hastily dumped the contents of his bag and pawed through them again, spreading everything out. He had his social studies binder, math book, science book, math binder, science binder, language arts book, pencil case- wait, language arts? He didn't need his textbook for that…

"Shit…" He uttered again. He must've grabbed the wrong textbook from his locker. Again. Why did they have to look so similar? Why didn't he ever take the time to read what was on the bindings?

Gaara cursed silently and closed his eyes. He could still get his homework done without his book, he was in a library; there had to be plenty of other books he could use, things would be fine.

Reassured, he slid his things back into his bag and pushed himself back off the floor before turning around.

Vaguely, Gaara registered a pair of onyx eyes before he clenched his own shut as he was pushed back and onto the table.

"…Uchiha?" He asked a few seconds later when he reopened his eyes.

Sasuke gave him a small, sheepish smile. "Sorry," he apologized, not sounding like he was really sorry at all. "I tripped."

Gaara frowned and glared up. "Whatever, do you mind getting off of me now?" He tried to push himself up, but the boy on top of him was still pinning him down.

"Maybe." Sasuke smirked and shifted his hips, and Gaara could feel his cheeks heating up.

"Uchiha, get off of me. Now."

"Well I was going to, but not with that attitude I'm not. Besides I kind of like where I am."

"Get. Off." Another shift of Sasuke's hips and Gaara knew his cheeks were nearing the same color of his hair.

Sasuke looked thoughtful for a moment before saying, "You know, you look almost cute when you blush like that."

"S-Shut up!" Gaara sputtered. No one outside his family had ever called him cute before and it was a little awkward. Not to mention that it was Sasuke doing it and acting completely and utterly weird to top it all off. "…Uchiha are you stoned, or high, or drunk, or something?" That would explain his odd behavior if nothing else would.

And as if things weren't already strange enough, Sasuke had to top it off by laughing. Which Gaara had never heard him do unless it was at someone else's expense. "No…why would you ask me something like that?"

Gaara cocked a non-existent brow. "You're not acting…yourself."

Sasuke smiled sweetly at him, another thing that Gaara had never seen him do before. "Oh, well, people sometimes act different when they're in love." He explained off-handedly.

And Gaara found that he could do nothing but stare up at Sasuke with his mouth slightly open. Completely caught off guard and he couldn't think of anything to say, nothing at all, and when Sasuke leaned his head and pressed their lips together, he couldn't think of anything to say then either.

But thinking was overrated, he decided, because every part of his mind was screaming at him about how he hated Sasuke and why wasn't he struggling, why was he moving his lips against Sasuke's, and why wasn't he angry as all hell right about now? He ignored them all, and had he been thinking like he normally did, he would have listened to them, but everything felt so nice, and Sasuke's lips were warm, and soft, and…perfect, and everything was perfect so he didn't.

And when Sasuke started sweeping his tongue over Gaara's lower lip and coaxing his mouth open, his mind was screaming, Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Get him the hell off of you and get him to stop! He ignored it again and parted his lips willingly.

His mind screamed at him even more when Sasuke rubbed one of his hands on Gaara's side and then started sliding up his shirt while his tongue stroked Gaara's and Gaara moaned into the kiss when Sasuke pinched one of the nubs on his chest before lifting Gaara's arms above his head and slipping his shirt off.

"Uchiha…" He panted when Sasuke finally pulled away.

"Sasuke." The raven-haired teen corrected, ghosting his fingers over Gaara's stomach, making it flutter and then pushing him farther onto the table.

Gaara felt himself smile. "Sasuke." It sounded so good to his ears, so perfect.

He was about to say something more, but forgot what it was when Sasuke started licking and sucking at his neck and then moving down to his chest and then his stomach, one hand resting on Gaara's thigh.

Gaara whimpered when Sasuke stopped his actions, but Sasuke flashed him a very mischievous, very un-Sasuke-like grin and kissed him deeply again. Gaara could feel the hand that was on his thigh moving up, and up, and then over, and then on the zipper of his pants, and then pulling it down, and –he gasped- his fingers hooking into his boxers and-

"Gaara!" Gaara's eyes flew open; someone was grabbing onto his shoulder and shaking him.

"Sasuke?" He asked groggily, not registering where he was.

Kankurou stared at his younger brother for a very long second. "Um no, not Sasuke. Try Kankurou."

"Kankurou?" Gaara was confused, to say the least. One second he was in the library kissing Sasuke and the next minute… 'Oh…Shit.'

"There you go, and I'm not even going to ask what made you think I was Sasuke…Or why you're blushing." He raised a brow. "Anyway I ordered take-out for dinner, it's on the counter. But…if you're too busy fantasizing about Sasuke-"

"I was not fantasizing about Sasuke! I hate him, and he's a complete bastard, and-"

Kankurou raised his hands in defense. "Okay, okay, I was just joking okay? Quit shouting before you get us in trouble, I know you don't really like Sasuke, geez, over reaction much?"

Gaara scowled as Kankurou walked out of the room, he did not have an over reaction, it was perfectly logical for him to yell if his brother was accusing him about fantasizing over Sasuke.

Which you were.

He frowned having no idea what the hell his mind was talking about, and prepared for another mental argument when his stomach growled loudly. Or on second thought, maybe he should eat first, then have a mental argument.

The clock in the kitchen read seven thirty-five, which meant he had been asleep about two or three hours. He wasn't really sure since he didn't remember falling asleep or even feeling tired, and now that he'd gotten a few hours of solid sleep, he knew he'd be up later than usual if not all night. Wonderful.

Back in his room, with a plate of rice, sesame chicken, and vegetable lo mein, the mental argument began at last.

You like Sasuke, you like Sasuke His mind sang.

I do not like him, I hate him remember? H-A-T-E, hate.

You had what was basically an erotic dream about him, I don't think erotic dreams fall under the category of hate, unless they're rape, which yours definitely was not.

Up until the point, he hadn't even really thought about his dream. He rarely dreamed, and when he did, he barely remembered what had happened in said dreams unless he thought about them, which he hadn't really been doing, paying more attention to getting himself something to eat and only half awake anyway.

Now reality hit Gaara, and it hit him hard.

Gaara's POV

You like Sasuke, you like Sasuke The little voice inside my head taunts me in a sing-song voice.

I do not like him, I hate him remember? H-A-T-E, hate.

You had what was basically an erotic dream about him, I don't think erotic dreams fall under the category of hate, unless they're rape, which yours definitely was not.

Wait what? 'Erotic dream'? I didn't have an erotic dream, in fact I don't really remember dreaming at all.

Just think for a moment, you'll see, it'll all come back to you.

And for once I listen to that stupid voice, I really don't remember dreaming but I usually don't, so maybe my mind is actually right for once. God I hope not.

I'm thinking and eating at the same time, trying to remember what I dreamed, but all I can remember was that I was in the library again and I was going to do my homework. Shizune was there too, I remember that, but those things are hardly important if I really did dream what my mind keeps saying that I did.

Then as I'm about to put a bite of rice in my mouth it all comes back to me. Sasuke's got me pinned to the table, and then we're kissing and there's tongue and I'm not protesting because I like it, and then my shirts off and he's kissing me all over, and, and…

This is the part where I start to freak out.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" Oh god, I can't believe I dreamt that! What the hell is wrong with me? It's not the having a dream about another guy that disturbs me, I've never had a crush or any sort of an attraction to a girl so I guess that part was inevitable, what disturbs me is that it was Sasuke in my dream. I hate Sasuke; I really do, or at the very least, dislike him immensely, so why did I have a dream like that?

Okay, I need to calm down and think this through better. After all, it was only a dream and dreams aren't real. Plus I would never do that in real life. Just a dream, a simple dream. Which I only had because I was thinking about Sasuke because I was angry at him for that stunt he pulled at the library, and my subconscious took that and somehow made it into an erotic dream. Damn teenage hormones.

Suddenly, I'm very relieved that I won't be falling asleep again for a while, I'm afraid of what might happen if I do.

"Okay, where should we go now?" Tenten asked, swinging her bags back and forth.

Temari furrowed her brow in thought. They'd already been to all their regular clothing stores, the cd store, Tenten's favorite store where they sold different types of weapons, and the leather store, which resulted in Dosu getting a long lecture from Kin about the evils of the fur industry and why didn't he buy some nice faux fur instead? In the end, they had been made to leave the store because Kin and Dosu had gotten into a very loud argument resulting in a crying baby, and a little boy asking his mother what the word 'fuck' meant.

"Hair salon." Kin decided when no one suggested anything. "My mom got me the wrong kind of anti-frizz spray (A/N: Is that what it's called? I know nothing about hair care products) and I need new conditioner."

"Don't they test things like that on animals?" Dosu scoffed, still angry about the incident in the leather store.

"I buy animal friendly brands." Dosu scowled but didn't say anything more as Kin lead them to the shop.

Dosu glared at Kin's back as she wandered about the store, Zaku stood next to him and glared at a random bottle of shampoo for no reason other than boredom, and Tenten and Lee went over their plans for the weekend. Temari did nothing but stand near Dosu and Zaku as hair products were not particularly interesting to her, and the store was too expensive for her taste anyway.

Boring, boring, boring, how could anyone possibly spend twenty minutes just buying conditioner? Not only was Temari getting bored out of her mind, but the smell of the salon was getting very overwhelming, so she decided to go wait outside.

Then she walked in and Temari froze in mid-step. She was a mere three feet away from her, in the same store, and was staring right at her. Or on second glance, staring at the shelf right behind her, but still she was in her line of vision.

Then her friend pointed to another shelf on the other side of the store and they both walked over to it and Temari could breathe again.

Temari watched as she and her friend examined a bottle of something, she couldn't tell what it was from where she was, and watched as her friend commented on something and she burst into giggles. Her smile was beautiful and seeing it made Temari's lips form a small smile of her own before it faded away. She would never be the one to make her smile that way, never be the one to make her laugh.

Temari didn't want many things; she'd given up on wishing for a normal family with a nice father years before, given up wishing that her mother hadn't died, and now the one thing she really did want, the thing she wanted most, she couldn't have.

Ino would never be hers.

"See Dosu?" Kin pointed to the label on her bottle of hair spray. "'This product is not tested on animals'." She smirked triumphantly.

"Whatever." Dosu muttered, looking longingly at the leather store as they passed it.

"Anywhere else you want to go Temari?"

"Huh? Oh, um, no, not really."

"You okay? You've been all spacey and quiet ever since we left the hair parlor." Tenten crossed her arms.

"I'm fine, I've just been um…thinking, that's all." She forced a smile and hoped it looked sincere.

"Okay…" Apparently it didn't look sincere, or not to Tenten at least. Sometimes it really sucked having a best friend who could read her so well, she knew Tenten would ask her again later. Hopefully she could think up a lie by then, she could just imagine how telling Tenten what she was really doing would go. Best friend or no, she couldn't bring herself to tell Tenten about her crush, too afraid of Tenten's reaction. And in the end it wouldn't matter if she liked Ino or who knew about it because Ino would never spare her a second glance let alone return her feelings. Better to keep it all to herself.


Someone had to tell Dosu about his fur um…thingy and I couldn't see Zaku doing it so Kin had to do it –nods-

Spork ai is too lazy to do reviewer replies right now, but will probably add them later.