Chapter 3- Asking her out
Here's where it all begins… knowing how to ask a girl out. And knowing how to accept or reject kindly. There aren't many tricks or strategies that will assist you in this endeavor, but a few simple guidelines will help to ease this potentially treacherous experience.
First remember to ask the girl you want to out before someone else does. There is no use in holding it off and hoping and praying that no one else snatches up the girl that you would rather like to go to the dance with, or that you would prefer to be around as you go on a day-long outing. Just like homework, sitting there and watching won't help you to get a date. You have to do something to get something. It's a basic principle in life that, when mastered, will bring much less unnecessary stress.
The next guideline is to know who you're asking. There is much less of a chance that a girl is going to say 'yes' to a tall gangly person she doesn't know anything about, than with a friend or even acquaintance that has possibilities. It would be much like walking up to some other guy and haphazardly asking "would you be my best friend?" It just doesn't work that way. The best relationships, overall, start out as friendships. Find things to talk about. You might start up a conversation about the classes you're taking—which is even easier when you're in the classes together. Ask her to borrow something instead of asking the guy behind you who you already know. Get yourself out on a limb and try. There is great chance of success while using this method. I had to give them some hope. Make sure you encourage them as well… they do need all the help they can get.
I will repeat one more time, just to make sure we have the attention of all: do not walk up to some pretty girl you've had your eyes glued to even if for all they know she doesn't have a single brain cell under the pounds of Sleekeazy's Hair Potion products and just give it a shot in the dark. You put her in a very awkward position and, even if she would have liked to gone with you, often times you will find yourself dateless and alone. Following we will evaluate the different levels of interest that girls will have.
"I like you too"
This is the ideal for anyone: "I like you, you like me. Let's get together sometime and have a cup of tea." This keeps from having too many of those 'what are we doing here' moments in the long run and you avoid a lot of the sifting process. A small tangent I would like to go off on with just the girls for a moment. Sifting is important, I have found, to many men. Some know what they want and go for it, but I've found that for the most part, they need a trophy to find themselves worthy of the one they really wanted to ask out in the first place. Be patient, as hard as it seems. If they really do like you it might come back to you in the long run. You never know… at least I don't. Be prepared for the best and the worst.
Be honest and open and remember that not every girl is going to feel about you the way that you feel about her. Bow out when necessary, but stick around long enough to see. Be a friend. Someone she can talk to. Don't try and destroy her other relationships (as mentioned in the previous chapter), but be understanding and it might pay off.
"Let's just be friends"
There will be some scenarios, though few and far between, that friendship will actually work after certain boundaries have been crossed. This can often be an awkward transition to make, but if it's worth it to you, try for it and I'd like to add that they don't make it any easier with their inability to read between some lines, but that's life. Try the friend thing if all else fails. Be willing to stay on that level and not push it. The greatest rate of success in this area is when there is a whole group of friends involved, and not just the two of you. Don't make it harder on the group, though, by fighting and making others pick sides. If it just isn't working after you admit you like her, or after you date, make some space and separate yourself from the situation until you can either be friends again or you know that you're both on the same page, where ever that may be.
"Get away you creep" "Don't talk to me, don't sit with me, don't stalk me"
If you end up in this category, you may be coming on a little strong. It's best to back down and take a graceful leave of absence. Whether you like it or not, girls talk and changes are you will gain a reputation that you would rather not have in trying to find other girls. These reputations are true about 85 of the time depending on your local gossip. So she's not interested… that's okay. The one who will say yes might be just around the corner, so just accept it and walk away.
There is definitely a delicate balance of whether to stick it out or to take your cue, but you will usually be able to get your signals in some slight but definite ways.
Many girls will downright avoid you. This is almost idiot proof to know that it isn't going to work now, and probably not ever. Move on. Some are less obvious, such as questions concerning you being away without the slightest bit of disappointment. Another method is talking about other guys or asking you about other girls. Overall, if your conversations are short, awkward, and focused around the two of you not being together, then the dream has died—just don't make it a slow and painful one. The more obvious the better. Some of them are fairly dense.
A/N: So after a year and a half, I'm back and ready to write… sort of. It's weird going into a lot of this after the way book 6 ended, but I have kicked around some ideas and will be trying to write one or two before book 7. I hope you enjoy this! Especially since it's been so long (I hope some of you remember what it is!)