The True Sith Lord...


Jedi.

They were so pathetic. They would almost be pitiful if they weren't so bumbling. The lone, cloaked figure laughed quietly to himself. And to think, they thought that fool Palpatine was the Sith Lord! What incompetence. Sidious couldn't be badass if he tried. Ha, look what happened when he tried to use the Sith lightning!

The figure barely suppressed a bout of hysterical laughter at the memory. After all, badass Sith Lords don't have senses of humor, you know…

How it drove him nuts, having to act like a clumsy fool. The only thing keeping him from going completely insane was the knowledge that when he ruled the universe, everyone else would be either dead or working for him in slave labor. But the accent…he shuddered just thinking about it.

The things I do for universal domination, the hooded figure mused to himself. The total and complete stupidity-no, that's not the right word, idiocy- of everyone around him made him sick. Just sick. But whenever he felt the urge to whip out his lightsaber and kill them all now and be done with them, he repeated to himself, Darth Amphibious, Ruler of the Universe; Darth Amphibious, Ruler of the Universe…

Yes, that was his name. Not the name everyone knew him by, hardly anyone could call him that. But someday, when he took over the galaxy, everyone would quake in fear at the sound of it!

Jar Jar Binks, also known as Darth Amphibious- the true Sith Lord.

TBC…


A/N: I was thinking the other day that technically, it's all Jar Jar's fault Emperor Palpatine came to power because in "Attack of the Clones" he gives Palpatine emergency powers. So, I got thinking, maybe there was an ulterior motive…and out popped this fic! Thanks soooo much to HyperCaz for giving me the idea to write this and the name "Darth Amphibious!" (I still giggle every time I see it!)

This fic has officially killed my sanity…