A/N: Mostly Danny/Maka This one's for you, Midnight! I own nothing.
If you want it
Come and get it
Crying out loud
The love that I was
Giving you was
Never in doubt
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now
It had all started in the break room. Maka challenged Danny to a game of Caribbean Poker, which he had fruitlessly lost. Maka wouldn't drop it, so he challenged her for another game at his place after work. She'd only been at his place for ten minutes- just enough time to break out the beer and cards- when there was a loud knocking on the door. Danny glanced up at Maka.
"Is anyone else comin'?" He asked her, confused.
He frowned and went to the door. Flack and Aiden were standing there with little Don. Danny would have demanded why Flack and Aiden were there at nearly 11:00 at night, but it was quite obvious when Aiden was clutching Flack's arm in a vice grip, and doing Lamaze breathing. Flack had a big huge dumbass grin on his face. Little Don- now 1 year old squirmed in his father's arms.
"Guess who's babysitting tonight?" Flack asked. Aiden sucked in a breath and dug her nails into Flack's wrist.
"Ya' okay, Aid?" Danny asked, finding humor in the situation.
"Do you have water?" She asked
Kaile appeared with a glass at that moment.
"Got it." She said, handing the glass to Aiden. She swallowed it all at once.
"Fuck." She said, holding her stomach, which protruded largely out in front of her.
"Are you sure you're having one baby Aiden?" Maka asked, raising an eyebrow at Aiden's stomach.
"Yes." Aiden replied snappily.
"We'll call you later." Flack said, still smiling like a dork. He closed the door behind them.
Kaile watched them go.
"She is an insane pregnant woman." She said, shaking her head.
Danny glanced down at little Don, who had his lower lip protruding and his arm reaching for the door.
"Mama." He murmured in a little voice. And started screaming. Loud.
"Agh!" Kaile said. "What the hell?"
Little Don had been crying for one hour, 13 minutes, and 47 seconds when Danny lost all dignity and tried anything to shut the kid up. This involved making "funny" faces, pretending to hurt himself, getting a little angry and throwing a magazine at Maka, who was sitting on the couch watching Saturday Night Live.
"Maka!" He snapped, "Help me."
"You know," She said, "I do have a first name, Kaile!"
"Really? Interesting." He said sarcastically.
"Oh, for the love of God." She said, and grabbed Danny's remote control, handing it to little Don. The baby quieted instantly, fascinated by his new toy. He stuck it in his mouth two seconds later.
"Oh, hell no!" Danny exclaimed and went to grab the remote. Maka halted him, however.
"You want the alternative?" She asked glaringly.
He sighed and looked at the contented baby.
Who knew what babies eat? Kaile and Danny certainly didn't. After much rifling through the diaper bag, however, Kaile found a jar of baby food.
"Green Beans and Carrots?" She asked, instantly appalled.
"That's worse than no food." He said, lip curling over.
Kaile, obviously being the man in this situation, wrenched the little jar open and sniffed it.
"I think I'm going to vomit. All over your carpet. And you can watch." She passed the jar to him. "Have fun, Danny." She clapped him on the shoulder and plopped down on his couch.
"Ok, pal." He said, grabbing a spoon.
"Here comes the airplane, into the hanger." He accompanied this by airplane noises, but the baby closed his mouth firmly, refusing to open it.
"Come on, just try it, for Uncle Danny."
The baby stared at him.
"Ok then. Look, it's not so bad."
As if to prove a point, he stuck a spoonful out of his mouth. He tried not to be instantly appalled. The infant watched him intently, wide blue eyes unblinking. Danny's eyes watered. God, it was bad. He refused to let a one year old win. He breathed through his mouth, but it made the back of his throat burn. It was like acid. What the hell were they feeding the kid? He took a hesitant breath through his nose. It was worse than he thought, his gag reflex went into full force and he spit the vile concoction all over his shirt. He heard Maka snort from over by the couch.
He ran to the bathroom, trying to maintain a small shred of dignity, but failing miserably as he forced his mouth under the faucet. He could hear Maka practically dying with laughter in the living room.
Sometime after the baby food incident, the baby was almost asleep when a squawk came out of the playpen.
"Are you kiddin' me?" Danny said, finally at peace on the couch with Maka.
"Your turn." She said, nearly laughing at how domesticated they sounded.
"What? It's been my turn all night!"
"I know." She said and grinned, shoving him off the couch, trying not to look at his ass as he went. They were babysitting for Gods sake, she couldn't act that way.
Danny wanted to haul the kid out of the playpen by his onesie. He didn't, of course, but he was close. This was exactly why he didn't have kids.
Little Don's hair was all shoved to one side, making him look ridiculous, but in a cute baby way. It was obvious why the baby was crying right when Danny picked him up. The kid weighed an extra pound or two. Or seven. Or fifteen.
"Oh no." Danny said, his mouth dropped open in horror.
"Kaile, this one's so yours!"
"What, did he crap or something?"
"Yeah. Like, half his body weight."
The baby started crying.
"Oh God, fine!" Danny said, carrying the kid to the kitchen counter. He undid the kid's onesie, trying to be nice.
"It's ok, buddy. It's just a little bit of…" He trailed off. His nose twitched. It was potent. He blamed it on the baby food.
"I'm gonna throw up." He informed Maka.
"I've worked decomp, floaters, everything. This smells almost as bad."
"Be a man." She stated over the blare of the TV.
"Flack is more of a man than I will ever be. Why the hell do they want more kids?"
"I don't think they want the kids. I think they buy faulty condoms."
"Maka, this shit is green."
"That's too bad for you."
Danny sighed, almost ecstatic, except for the TV, there was no noise in the apartment. Don had finally fallen asleep.
Danny took a long draw of beer. "Finally." He said, laying his head back on the couch.
"I've let a baby drool on my remote control, had to eat something that tastes like a rotten piece of squash filled with road kill, change a diaper full of hazardous waste-
Maka cut him off. Her lips closed over his, and he forgot everything. After a second of just sitting there and letting her maul him, he put his hands on her waist. She swung her leg over his lap, opening her mouth wider, deepening the kiss, but they were suddenly interrupted.
The phone rang. They yanked away, staring at each other. Danny grabbed for the phone.
"Hello?" He asked, disappointed when Kaile climbed off him.
"Hey." An ecstatic voice came over the line. "She had twins! Twins! That's two! Two babies! I have two new babies? Can you believe that?"
Danny held up two fingers to Kaile.
"Oh, I so knew it!" She shouted, pumping her fists in the air.
"How's little Don?" Flack asked giddily.
"Good. How's Aiden?"
"Tired. Happy. Seriously, twins? Two boys! Can you believe it?"
Danny shuddered at the thought of two new Flack babies in the world. He grimaced.
"No, no I can't believe it. What're their names?"
"Joshua Christopher and Jordan Elijah."
"That's great man, congratulations."
"Thanks. Aiden wants to say something to Kaile."
"Ok Flack, I'll talk to you later. Congrats again, that's really great."
He passed the phone to Kaile.
He heard a murmur on the other line. Kaile snorted and looked at Danny.
"Sure thing, Aid. We'll come by tomorrow. Ok, congratulations and talk to you later. Bye." She hung up the phone and grinned devilishly at Danny.
"What'd she say?" Danny asked suspiciously.
"To not let you knock me up while Little Don is here."
Danny could only grin.
A/N: Yay! Finally done! I liked it!