Title: Doing Stuff by Meleth78
Characters: Iruka and Kakashi.
Rating: R (if anyone thinks it should be rated higher please let me know yes?)
Status: One Shot
Comments: Kakashi is MEEVED at something and insist that Iruka does something about it. Also, a long hidden secret is unveiled.
Disclaimer: Kakashi and Iruka are trying to insist that they are mine despite the fact that the law clearly states that they are not. What's a girl to do?
'I was a gennin when I was FIVE.' stated Kakashi firmly, if a little petulantly. The jounin was seated on the couch in his living room next to Iruka, his arms crossed, his face set in a disgruntled scowl.
'Yes Kashi. I know you were.' replied his lover distractedly as he flipped through the latest Konoha shinobi newsletter.
'And a chuunin when I was just SIX.'
'Yes Kashi. I know that as well.' said Iruka continuing to peruse the latest article by Ibiki on interrogation tactics. The large man wrote with such intent fervor it was absorbing.
'I was INVITED to join the ANBU you know. Did I tell you that? At TWELVE.' continued the pale jounin turning to stare intently at the chuunin sensei by his side.
'Ruuuuuuuuuukaaaaaaaa' whined Kakashi nudging the sensei repeatedly with his elbow.
'I'm listening baby. I'm listening.' Squirming away from the sharp appendage poking at him, Iruka turned to smile indulgently at the sulking man next to him and even reached out his free hand to pat the jounin lovingly on his tousled silvered head.
'Then SAY something!' urged the increasingly agitated man at his side.
Humming slightly, Iruka tilted his head and lowered the newsletter he was holding just a tad and replied,
'And you weren't just invited by anyone, you were invited by the Hokage himself.'
'You bet your sweet ass I was!' Kakashi agreed vehemently.
'So it's all good Kashi. No one's going to care.' Soothed the younger man, already returning to his newsletter and Ibiki's fervent declaration for the use of honey as a tool of torture. And not any type of honey. High grade, extra sticky, extra thick golden honey.
'Yes they will! The brat will make sure of it! Plus your beloved Naruto will tell EVERYONE!' insisted the jounin.
'I'll speak to him about it.' Said Iruka wrinkling his scarred nose at a particularly descriptive anecdoct of Ibiki, and his liberal use of the word 'orifice'.
A moment passed.
'Tell him I can DO things as well.' Said Kakashi, breaking the brief silence.
'Yes baby. I will.' Sighed Iruka as he flipped the page, drawing his left leg up and under him, shifting about to get more comfortable.
'Tell him I can DO things BETTER than Genma can.' Added Kakashi narrowing his eyes as he stared the man at his side.
'Sure thing sweetie.' Breathed the chuunin tilting his head yet again and reaching up to smooch the still irate jounin on his un-masked cheek.
'RURU! You're not even listening to me!' yelled the pale man slapping the sensei on his thigh.
'What?' squawked the younger man finally looking up. He didn't look too pleased. 'I am too!'
'Are not! You just agreed to tell a 12 year old about how fantastic I am in the sack.' snapped the jounin.
'Well, it's never too early to learn about the birds and the bees.' Retorted Iruka, he added, 'Plus I wasn't going to talk about specific techniques. I was merely going to allude to the fact that you can DO things.'
'Better than Genma.' Insisted Kakashi again.
'MUCH better than Genma' confirmed his lover, smiling up at the pleased face so close to his.
'Wait.' Said Kakashi abruptly, pulling away. He shot up straight from his slouched position and turned to glare at the sensei next to him. 'How do YOU know what Genma can DO?'
There was an uncomfortable silence and Iruka attempted to pout beguilingly and widen his doe-eyes in an adorably limpid manner as he hesitantly turned to face his glowering lover.
'Er….' Said the young sensei.
'DID YOU HAVE SEX WITH GENMA?'
'Weeeelll…..' began the chuunin, wincing at the sheer volume of the previous question.
'WHAT!' yelled the jounin at his side.
'It was a loooooooooong time ago Kashi. I didn't even know you.' Ahhhh, to be sweet sixteen again and to be able swim butt-nekkid in the cool, cool lake during summer vacation. Even better to have been able to find a just as butt-nekkid, slinky, honey-haired, honey-skinned, oh so golden older teen lounging around, taking in the sun as well. It had been a good year for the adolescent Iruka.
'WHAT ARE YOU SMILING ABOUT?' yelled Kakashi again as he spied the hint of a smile blooming on the chuunin's full lips.
'Not…NOTHING!' Iruka shook his head nervously. Oh crap.
'Are you thinking about GENMA and what he can DO?' hissed the pale man dangerously.
'Of course not.' yelped the sensei as Kakashi began to advance on him. The jounin shoved the younger man flat onto his back on the couch and started to crawl over him. Kakashi's single blue eye narrowed. The look on his beautiful face was scarily focused and predatory.
'I don't believe you Iruka.' said Kakashi very softly, a decidedly evil gleam in his eye.
'Ahh….ahh…Kashi….' moaned the younger man as the jounin's hands tugged and unzipped and wandered and grasped and stroked.
Moments passed and the living room was filled with the sounds of gasping moans, sobbing whimpers and unrestrained cries.
Kakashi's head lifted from its bent position.
'Did you say something love?' The jounin asked lazily, licking his wet swollen lips as he peered up at the sensei sprawled out in wild abandon on the couch.
'D…DO IT!' moaned the writhing sensei. It should be noted that his hands were held high above his head in a deathly firm chakra grip.
'DO what?' asked Kakashi as his nubile tongue flicked out once again and connected with solid flesh.
'DO IT!' repeated the other man, breathless.
'DO it…like Genma does?'
'NO! DO IT YOUR WAY!' gasped Iruka, the younger man was almost thrashing about in his agitation.
'DO it…?' questioned the jounin again as he tilted his head at an impossible angle and took a hard swipe, pressing, squeezing and pushing with his fingers simultaneously, 'Like this?'
'Urrrrmmmmggghhhhh….YES! DOITDOITDOTI!' Iruka bucked up at Kakashi's touch, chanting and whimpering alternately.
'Do I DO IT better?' the question was murmured and muffled as the jounin focused on his…performance.
'YES! Oh GOD YES!' shouted Iruka, his eyes squeezed shut, teeth gnawing on his lower lip, trying hard not to lose control. Yeah, right. As if that were possible.
'How much better?' Another previously thought by all humankind as an impossible area to reach was breeched by the jounin's implausible flexibility.
'THE…ahh…ahhhhhh….BEST!' moaned out the young sensei his entire body arching up from the soft couch.
A few more wet and slick moments later.
And even a few more hot and panting moments later.
'So you'll tell everyone I can DO stuff better than Genma?' murmured Kakashi into the young sensei's soft, dark hair as the other man snuggled up against him, limp from his mind-blowingly intense….release.
'Ummmmmmm…..' moaned out the young sensei, sighing happily as he nuzzled his face into the jounin's silkily warm nape.
'Ruka! Pay attention.' The jounin pinched the sensei's sweetly curved butt.
'Eeep!' eeeped out Iruka, his head shooting up from its buried position to glare at the unrepentant, smirking jounin. 'I am paying attention!' he pouted out.
'What are you supposed to say?'
'Ummmmm….Kashi….I'm sleepy….' whimpered the younger man as he once again burrowed his face in the sweet warmth of the jounin's neck, yawning widely.
'Then say what you're supposed to tell everyone and I'll leave you alone.' Sulked the insistant copy-nin poking at the chuunin.
'Urrrmmphhh….That you were a chuunin at 5…' Yawn 'and a gennin at….' Nuzzle '6 and Ibiki asked you to join the ANBU-' Yawn again 'when the Hokage was 12.'
'What?' Kakashi's silvered head lifted to peer down at his drowsy lover in befuddlement.
'Shhuussshh…And Honey is good but you're better at DOING it…..sleeeep now. Night night.'
Kakashi sighed as Iruka drifted off into a satiated oblivion. Obviously, and in spite of his prettiness, the young sensei and could not be trusted with this important mission. The responsibility of the task to let everyone know that losing to Konohamaru at tic-tac-toe was a fluke fell squarely on the jounin's pale but strong shoulders.