By now you should know that I don't own any X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters. I just had a weird idea to have some fun with Lance and drive Kitty crazy a little. I just couldn't resist this one.
A Walk in The Park in The Dark
"Wake up! Wake up!" Pietro shouted. "Emergency! We've got an emergency here!"
"Huh…?" Kitty groaned as she opened her eyes. Pietro was standing over her bed. "QUICKSILVER!"
"Come on Kitty-Cat we got an emergency here!" Pietro shook her arm. "Nice pajamas by the way."
"Pietro it's nearly two thirty in the morning!" Kitty looked at her clock. "You'd better have a good excuse to be here!"
"Your boyfriend's on the loose and he could end up trashing the entire town," Wanda walked in. "That a good enough reason for you?"
"What?" Kitty asked.
"Oh just come on in…" Danielle muttered sleepily. "You know they warned me about things like this happening when I started to room with you."
"What's going on?" Kitty asked. "Why is Lance planning on trashing the town?"
"Well he's not exactly planning on trashing the town," Wanda said.
"This stuff just sort of happens when he's like this," Pietro added. "When he's asleep."
"As opposed to when Lance is awake?" Danielle grumbled. "Because we all know what a model of restraint he is."
"Hold on, what do mean by when he's asleep?" Kitty asked. "How can he do anything when he's sleeping? That doesn't make sense!"
"Nothing that concerns the Misfits ever makes sense, or haven't you noticed that by now?" Danielle yawned.
"You see sometimes Lance…" Wanda paused. "Sleepwalks."
"He sleepwalks?" Kitty rubbed her eyes.
"Well he doesn't just sleepwalk," Pietro added. "He sleep terraforms."
"Terra-whahhh?" Danielle blinked.
"I hope that doesn't mean what I think it means…" Kitty was starting to feel very nervous.
"It means he makes earthquakes and does weird things with the ground," Pietro said.
"What kind of 'weird things' are we talking about?" Kitty asked.
"Trust me, you'll know it when you see it," Pietro told her. "Now come on! We gotta track him down!" He ran out the door.
"Oh no, Lance…" Kitty grumbled as she got out of bed. "What have you done now?"
"You have one weird boyfriend," Danielle fell back into bed.
"Aren't you gonna get up?" Kitty asked.
"Why should I get up? He's your boyfriend," Danielle pointed out.
"She's got you there," Wanda said.
"Aggghhh!" Kitty growled as she grabbed her uniform.
Soon Kitty joined the main X-Men team as well as Logan, Xavier, Ororo, Spirit, Shipwreck and the Misfits in the Cerebro room. Right behind her was Bobby. "What the heck is going on?" He asked as he finished putting on his boots.
"It seems the Ground Shaker decided to go for a little walk around town," Logan grumbled.
"Sometimes Avalanche's subconscious mind gets a little out of control," Spirit explained. "It's another side effect of Magneto's experimentation."
"The kid tends to walk around in his sleep making swimming pools and mountains and stuff," Shipwreck explained.
"Does this happen often?" Xavier asked.
"No but when it does…" Shipwreck groaned. "Man is it a show!"
"Usually he doesn't go very far so we can contain his…creativity to the Pit," Spirit said. "However this time he somehow got his hands on a teleportation watch and made his way to Bayville."
"When you say creative…" Logan asked. "How creative?"
"Things get pretty weird," Fred answered. "As well as blown up or fall in holes or…"
"We get the picture, Blob," Ororo interrupted him.
"Great, Alvers is going to wreck Bayville again!" Scott groaned.
"He can't help it," Wanda said. "He doesn't even know he's doing it."
"I've got a reading," Xavier said as he used Cerebro. "He's in the park."
"Lovely!" Bobby threw up his hands. "The police are gonna love this!"
"Not if we get him out of there before they show up!" Althea said. "Come on!"
Soon both teams were at the park. The adults took one section while the kids went further ahead. "Spread out," Scott ordered. "We need to track him down."
"That's not going to be a problem," Kurt shone his flashlight on something. It was a huge dirt sculpture of a coyote riding an elephant. "I believe we've just found a clue."
"Two clues," Rogue pointed to another sculpture. This was made out of rock and it was in the shape of a penguin flying an airplane.
"We told you he gets creative," Todd remarked. "This is some of his best stuff yet."
"Okay that is definitely a weird thing," Kitty blinked.
"I told you!" Pietro said. "Of course these sculptures are a bit more interesting." There were a few sculptures of Kitty in different poses.
"Whoa, that boy has it bad," Remy whistled.
"It's amazing," Peter blinked. "They're almost lifelike."
"Especially this one," Pietro snickered at the last statue.
"What do you mean?" Kitty looked at it. It was a rock stature of her nude. "OH MY GOD!"
"What?" Scott looked at it next. "Oh boy…"
"Holy crap!" Bobby's jaw dropped.
"Took the words right out of my mouth," Angelica said.
"Oh mien Gott…" Kurt gulped.
"Lance!" Kitty was humiliated. "I don't believe this!"
"Neither do I," Pietro put his hand to his chin and contemplated. "Your breasts aren't that big!"
"Did a nice job on her butt though," Todd highlighted it with his flashlight.
"Stop that!" Kitty screamed. "DON'T LOOK AT IT!"
"Kind of hard not to," Remy remarked.
"He does have talent," Peter was astonished.
"It's…impressive I gotta admit," Scott gulped.
"It does have a nice butt," Bobby said.
"Way to go guys!" Jean threw up her hands. "Can you believe this?"
"No," Althea said. "Pietro's right, Kitty's breasts are a lot smaller than that."
"Talk about fantasy," Wanda remarked.
"Will you do something?" Kitty shouted. "Throw a blanket over it or something!"
"What blanket? Where are we gonna get a blanket?" Wanda asked.
"Well then destroy it! Cyclops blow it up but don't look at it!" Kitty shouted.
Scott looked at her. "Kitty…Do have any idea exactly how my powers work?"
"Well then somebody else destroy it!" Kitty snapped.
"Now wait a minute," Kurt held up his hands. "Let's not be hasty."
"It is a work of art after all," Peter admitted.
"WHAT?" Kitty roared.
"Maybe Avalanche does requests?" Remy thought.
"Yeah maybe he'd put you in a rock body cast?" Rogue glared at him.
"We could take it back to the mansion," Peter suggested.
"We are not taking this thing anywhere!" Kitty shouted. "Especially back at the mansion where you perverts will drool over it!"
"Well can we at least take a few pictures first?" Bobby asked.
"BOBBY!" Kitty shrieked.
"I take it that's a no, then?" Pietro remarked.
The adults ran up to them. "What's going on here? Why are you all just standing around and…WHOA!" Logan shouted.
"Is that…?" Shipwreck blinked and then looked at Kitty.
"YES!" Kitty was near tears. "Please somebody destroy it!"
Logan shot out his claws. "Fine, I'll…" He walked up to it and stopped. He stared at it. Then he looked at the others. "It's very lifelike isn't it?"
"It's almost creepy how close it is," Scott agreed.
"Notice how they follow you no matter which way you look?" Remy said.
"Oh yeah…" Kurt nodded. "I see it."
"You're not gonna see anything anymore if you don't stop looking!" Kitty screamed. "Logan!"
"Fine!" Logan readied to chop it. He stopped. "This is even creepier than the statue we thought was Mystique!"
"Oh for crying out loud," Althea groaned. She took a laser gun from her father and blasted the statue into pieces. "If you want something done right, don't ask a guy to do it!"
"Thanks Al," Kitty sighed. She hit Logan on the arm. "And thanks a lot! All of you!"
"Hey wait a minute," Logan protested. "I couldn't chop it up because it was too lifelike and…The thought of you being at the end of my claws…"
"Yeah I know, creep out city," Kitty shuddered. "But still…The rest of you guys are sick perverts!"
"Us?" Bobby protested. "Avalanche is the one that made it!"
"He's the real pervert," Peter added.
"Well that goes without saying," Kurt rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, but you guys didn't exactly get turned off by it now did you?" Jean shot.
"I thought it was aesthetically pleasing," Pietro grinned.
"After I kill Lance, you're next!" Kitty pointed at him.
"I never knew Lance could use his powers that way," Ororo remarked.
"Well if he uses them in that way again, I'll use these on him! And trust me I won't hesitate!" Logan showed them his claws.
"These are just images in his subconscious," Spirit told him. "He can't help it."
"He is a guy you know?" Shipwreck defended. "And guys do tend to picture…"
"Oh yes we all know what they picture!" Ororo snapped. "Let's just find him."
"Yeah before he lets any other of his fantasies come to life," Kitty was very angry now. "BOBBY! PUT THAT DOWN! DON'T EVEN THINK OF TAKING A SOUVENEIR!"
"That body part better not be what I think it is," Rogue folded her arms.
"Maybe I should hold onto it?" Remy suggested.
"Maybe I should put you on a leash like the dog you are!" Rogue twisted his ear.
"Owowowwowwowowwow…" Remy whined as Rogue dragged him away.
"Do all males act like this?" Rina asked Xi.
"Apparently," Xi shrugged.
"It's gonna be one of those nights…" Logan moaned.
"Gee what was your first clue?" Scott asked him.
"Looks like Michelangelo is at it again!" Shipwreck groaned.
"What do ninja turtles have to do with it?" Bobby asked.
"Whose turn is it?" Jean asked rolling her eyes.
"Mine," Rogue said as she thwacked Bobby on the head. "Come on!"
They made their way to a huge sandlot in the middle of the park. Lance was standing there, wearing nothing but his boxer shorts directing the sand all around him. He was creating a huge castle. His eyes were completely white as he used his powers. "Whoa…" Rogue was impressed. "Why has he never done that before?"
"For some reason his potential can only be tapped to its limit when he is in this state," Spirit told her.
"So now what do we do?" Rogue asked.
"Yeah it's dangerous to wake a sleepwalker," Angelica said. "Especially a mutant sleepwalker."
"It'll be even more dangerous if we don't do something," Logan grunted. "I'm gonna bring him down!""Don't attack him," Spirit warned. "He might…"
Too late. Logan charged at Lance. Suddenly a huge wall of dirt and rock formed right in front of Logan. It formed so fast that Logan literally ran into it. "OOMF!"
"Do something like that," Spirit finished.
"I'll get him," Scott readied his visor. Suddenly a huge dirt fist rose out of the ground and nearly pounded Scott. "Hey!"
Several other large dirt hands rose out of the ground, forcing the teams to scatter or else be pummeled. "Did I mention that when Avalanche is in this state he somehow has an extra sense that warns him if someone tries to harm him?" Spirit asked.
"No, I think we would have remembered if you did!" Scott spat dirt out of his mouth.
"So how do we stop him?" Rina was getting impatient as she dodged the large hands.
"We have to calm him down," Todd said. "Sometimes just talking to him works. Eight times out of ten it does."
"What about the other two times?" Kurt asked as he teleported onto a tree branch.
"He trashes the place until he tires out," Todd told him.
"Oh wonderful!" Logan groaned.
"Kitty call out to him," Wanda said. "He might respond to your voice."
"Lance! Lance! KNOCK IT OFF!" Kitty shouted.
"Oh yeah that's soothing," Pietro groaned.
"Lance! Stop it! Cut it out!" Kitty shouted. The giant hands disappeared back into the ground. "I think it's working."
"Keep it up!" Shipwreck called out. "Try to get close to him."
"Lance? Lance it's me, Kitty," Kitty walked closer to him. He seemed to be stuck in his trance. "Lance, I need you to wake up. Come on. That's it."
She got close enough for him to touch. He seemed to hear her voice. Suddenly the ground rose beneath where they were standing. "Now what?" Kitty yelped.
"This is not good…" Fred gulped as the ground rose higher. "Kitty stay with Lance!"
"Like I have a choice?" Kitty shouted as she clung to Lance for dear life. The two of them were on top of the mound and it began to move. Before she knew it they were riding a wave of earth through the park.
"This is like when Bobby uses his ice to skate around!" Kitty hung on. "Only this is a lot scarier!"
"AAAHHHHH!" Several teen couples shot out of the bushes as the earth wave barreled through the park.
"Sorry!" Kitty shouted out. "Lance stop it! Snap out of it before you kill someone! Namely us!"
The ride grew more and more harrowing as they plowed through the park, causing destruction everywhere. "Lance Alvers you are so in trouble when you wake up!" Kitty shouted. "Do you hear me? Lance! Oh great! There goes another set of benches! Watch out for that tree! Now that other tree! LANCE!"
Jean, Ororo, Angelica, Lina and Rogue were flying as fast as they could after them. "Man that boy is booking!" Rogue whistled.
"Kitty!" Jean called out to her friend.
"It's not working!" Kitty screamed as she held on for dear life. "I've been yelling into his ear but it's like he doesn't hear me!"
"That's an accomplishment," Rogue muttered to herself.
"This must be one of those two times where he just goes nuts," Angelica said.
"No, ya think?" Kitty screamed at her. "Lance! Watch out for that statue!"
"Well the place had too many Civil War statutes anyway," Rogue winced.
"It's not like Lance can't make another," Lina suggested.
"WILL SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!" Kitty shouted.
"I'll try to use my telepathy to knock some sense into him," Jean focused on Lance's mind. "He's confused…"
"Understatement of the year," Rogue said.
"Just a little more…" Jean focused on Lance's mind. "Lance…Stop!"
The wave came to a halt. Kitty was spooked and phased Lance and herself through it. They landed on the ground with a thud. "Great…" Kitty muttered. She glared at Lance. "This is so not what I meant when I told you I wanted to go on a date sometime!"
By now the other X-Men and Misfits had arrived. "I went into his mind and calmed him down," Jean explained.
"You couldn't think of that before?" Scott snapped.
"Don't start with me, Scott," Jean glared at him. She looked at Kitty. "He had the weirdest thoughts. He thought you and he being chased by robotic penguins in airplanes…A very odd coyote on a flying coyote that sounded like Pietro."
"Yeah, how about that?" Fred whistled.
"He looks so peaceful," Todd remarked. Lance was snoring gently on the ground.
"Good! Cause that's the last bit of rest he's gonna get!" Kitty made a fist. "When he wakes up he is a dead man!"
"Oh I gotta see this," Todd snickered.
"Yeah it's almost worth not getting any sleep tonight," Peter grinned. He stopped grinning when he heard the sound of sirens. "The police!"
"Let's get out of here!" Todd shouted.
"Well this was fun," Shipwreck picked up Lance. "But now we gotta run! We should do it again sometime!"
"SHIPWRECK!" Ororo shouted as the Misfits and the Joes used the teleportation watches to disappear. "Why am I not surprised?" She created a fog barrier.
"I'd be more surprised if they didn't leave us to take the blame," Jean sighed. "Okay everyone you know the drill. We all run back to the Institute and don't let the police see us."
"Something tells me they're still going to figure out we were involved," Logan pointed out. "Better tell Charles to call the lawyers."
"We're never going to be allowed in this park again, I know it…" Scott groaned.
"I'll be amazed if they still allow us in the town again after tonight!" Kurt told him.
"Maybe moving isn't such a bad idea," Scott sighed. "Only do me a favor Kitty, if we ever move, don't tell Avalanche where we live!"
"Not going to be a problem Scott," Kitty gritted her teeth. "Not at all!"