Hot and Hairy: My Trip to Tatooine and Kashyyyk

Day Forty One

Have a feeling I am going to hate Tatooine.

Has nothing to do with scorching heat, Tuskan raiders or constant need for cleaning sand out of orifices.

No, I can't put my finger on it, but I definitely have a bad feeling about this…


Just met Bastila's mother.

Dear Sarlak there's two of them!

Apparently bitchiness is hereditary, either that or Bastila's dear mom is upset about seeing her daughter again.

Personally, I'm going with the latter.

Day Forty Two

Planet just keeps getting worse.

Apparently Blue Brat has a lost family member on bucket of sand too.

Who cares?

I certainly wouldn't slow down the team in order to go looking for a long lost relative!

Suppose it is not all bad - Naver has been wearing less clothing due to heat.

Not that I noticed.

Day Forty Three

Bastila has been pissed off ever since Canderous mistook her for a Tatooine-hooker after all night drinking binge. Not his fault she looks like Galactic whore.

Educational though: did not know there's a level of drunkenness that can make Bastila attractive.

Seems she's mostly miffed that he only offered her two credits.

Perhaps he was more sober than I thought.

Day Forty Five

Suspect I am getting a sun burn due to agonizing pain and burning sensation on ear.

But maybe I'm merely tired of listening to team full of screwballs.

Speaking of such, we have added a loud, obnoxious droid to group.

Member count: 9

Glad we're being subtle.

Day Fifty

Apparently the second droid – HK? – is actually going to contribute to the mission.

Finally someone who isn't here for the free ride!

It has helped us successfully infiltrate the Sand People's fortress so we could get another one of those damn Star Maps.

V. helpful.

Day Fifty - One

Changed my mind about that crazy psychopath droid.

Keeps calling me "meatbag" then talking about making "the master's dinner."

Must put an end to this. If only I could find my screwdriver…

Day Fifty - Two

Next stop Kashyyyk.


Hope Cathar doesn't get hair balls while we're there – it's bad enough cleaning the drains after that Wookie uses the 'fresher.

Day Fifty-Five

Got in fight with Canderous today. He made comment along lines of "whatever helps you sleep at night."

Suspect he may be watching me sleep.

Have decided to burn orange jacket as it is just too damn sexy.

Will miss it as I look dashing in orange… but is better to be safe then sorry especially with all the Wookies around. (Shudder)

Day Fifty-Seven

Have been having reoccurring dream of "hooking-up" with Naver.

Am V. disturbed.

As a result have taken 23 cold showers.

Still no progress.

Will keep you posted.

Day Fifty-Eight

Have come to a conclusion – I am attracted to Naver.

What's worse is I am starting to trust her!

Example: yesterday I let her hold my caffa and didn't even worry about it being poisoned!

I am becoming a diff. man.

Next thing you'll know I'll be friends with Bastila…

Okay I am smitten not crazy!

Day Fifty-Nine

Reached Wookie village where they imprisoned Zaalbar and sent us on yet another mission.

Did serve us smashing wookie-cookies and blue milk though. Delicious.

Day Sixty-Three

Are currently following a senior-citizen ex-Jedi through a huge forest maze.

Was not actually all that worried until he started talking to a random tree.

We're screwed.

Day Sixty-Five


Day Seventy

Still walking.

Day Seventy-Three

Stopped to talk to a wroshyr tree; continued walking.

Day Seventy-Seven

Finally found the stupid Star Map.

Jolee wanted to know why we needed a map to find stars...

Senile old coot.

Day Eighty


Got Zaalbar back (damn!) and Jolee joined the team (damnit!).

To make matters worse, the Wookies were using our 'fresher while we were away – and I'm on bathroom duty.

This is getting ridiculous. How the hell am I supposed to make a move on Naver with all these people around? Must find a way to dispose of them without Naver noticing…

Hmm, better not. Am V. scared of her lightsaber. Probably goes against Republic training too…

Review and I'll give you a cookie! .:)