Summary: Calvin and Hobbes go into a BATMAN comic and fight crime as Batboy and Battiger.
Swing123: Calvin and Hobbes are pretty much the main characters here. Batman and Robin don't play much of a roll.
Welcome to the Calvin and Hobbes: The Series Fanfiction premiere!
Calvin's Batman Adventure
Calvin slipped a comic book into a slot. Beeps and whizzes sounded, as several light flickered in and off.
The green button marked GO shone brightly.
"HOBBES!" Calvin called. "GET IN HERE!"
Hobbes opened the door to Calvin's room.
He took one look at the box on the floor, and slammed the door.
"Get in here!" Calvin spat.
Hobbes painstakingly entered the room.
"I'm going anywhere with you in that box!" Hobbes spat.
"Come on, Hobbes. Nothing is gonna go wrong!"
"Just like when nothing went wrong in the Mesozoic Era, and in the Series of Unfortunate Events book, and Far Side book, and the duplicates, and the..."
"I mean besides all that!" Calvin said, waving his hand impatiently. "Come on Hobbes! Have I ever led you astray?"
"About ten billion times." Hobbes said.
"Well, ok." Calvin shrugged. "I guess I'll have to all these snacks by myself."
Hobbes' eyes popped open.
"Snacks? What snacks? What kind of snacks? Are they good snacks?"
"Never mind." Calvin said, pushing Hobbes away. "You said you weren't coming."
"Well, I guess it's ok. If their good snacks that is."
"Great!" Calvin said. "Slip on you vortex goggles, Hobbes! Here we go!"
And with that, they disappeared into parts unknown.
"So where exactly are we going?" Asked Hobbes.
"One of my favorite comic books besides Captain Napalm!"
"Dare I ask?" Hobbes muttered.
"Batman!" Calvin grinned.
And then, with a blast of fire, Calvin and Hobbes landed in a dark alley.
"Ok, Hobbes." Calvin said. "If we want to fight for truth and justice along with Batsy, and the birdly wonder, we need to put on this!"
Calvin handed Hobbes a Batman outfit.
"I'm not getting into that." Hobbes said.
"Oh, come on!" Calvin insisted.
"I, unlike you, have pride." Hobbes said. "Besides, this comic book you used isn't even up to date! This is from 1992!"
"Well, I thought they had messed Batman up, already when they changed The Birdly Wonder's ID. Besides, I think Batsy looks better in blue, gray, yellow, and black. Put the costume on!"
Reluctantly, Hobbes took the costume, and slipped it on.
"Well?" Hobbes asked. "Do I dare ask how I look?"
"You like a bat/tiger mutant." Calvin said.
"That's what I was afraid of." Hobbes sighed.
"Oh well, we can just call you Battiger!" Calvin said.
"That sounds painful." Hobbes said.
Calvin slipped on his costume.
"How do I look?" Calvin asked.
"Like a bat/kid mutant." Hobbes said. "We can call you Batkid."
"Very funny." Calvin said. "I need a name that will match my personality!"
"In case, we shall call you Ding-dong boy." Hobbes said.
"Shut up." Calvin spat. "I guess I'll have to go with Batboy."
"That name's been taken." Hobbes said.
Calvin thought for a second.
"Let's see." Calvin said. "There's a Batman a Robin, a Batgirl, and no Batboy. Don't you read this comic?"
"Very well, we'll call you Batboy."
"Oh look!" Calvin said. "Here comes our chase to proof our selves!"
Hobbes lazily looked over his shoulder.
Sure enough, here came a gang of things. Each of them with shaved head.
"Hey look!" One of them yelled. "It's Batman!"
The gang laughed.
"Did you see any humor in that?" Hobbes asked.
Calvin shook his head.
"Hey Batsy." One of the thugs advanced over . "Ready for some fun?"
Calvin narrowed his eyes to slits.
"Let's dance!" He snarled.
Hobbes watched from a safe distance.
Calvin whipped out a batrang, and flung it at the thug.
It hit him in his leg.
"Oh man!" Calvin whined. "I was aiming for the head!"
The thug however, looked shocked that Calvin had weapons.
"Get shorty!" One of them commanded. "I'll get the tall one."
"Hey, I'm just an innocent bystander." Hobbes said. "Innocently standing by!"
One of the thugs dove for Calvin.
Calvin panicked, and ran in circles. In the process, he got the thug tangled up in his cape, and he collapsed.
Another one started to corner Hobbes.
Hobbes took a quick look at the thugs, and extended his claws.
"Back!" He snarled. "I'm a tiger/bat mutant thing!"
Dazed and confused, the thugs backed up.
Meanwhile, One thug threw a punch at Calvin.
Calvin was beginning to get the hang of the Bat-hero thing.
"HA!" Calvin screamed, whipping out a batrope. "You can not defeat Batboy!"
Calvin whipped the batrope around one of the thug's legs, and they fell over.
"Strike one for home!" Calvin screeched.
Hobbes seemed to have everything under control, too.
When a thug jumped him, Hobbes slipped his cape off, and trapped the thug in the cape.
Once inside, Hobbes became conveniently rough with the cape, until finally putting it back on, releasing the terrified thug.
The thugs ran off, horrified at the new super heros.
"Well, Hobbes." Calvin said. "We've had our first fight for justice! And we won! What a proud moment!"
"Indeed." Hobbes said. "Now, let's get out of here."
Calvin pulled one of those rope things, and pointed it skyward.
Hobbes did the same.
Calvin and Hobbes hit the buttons on the devices, and ropes shot out.
Once they hooked onto something, Hobbes and Calvin zoomed up through the sky, and onto a building.
"Come!" Calvin said. "Let us dramatically jump from building to building!"
"What about the Book Transport?" Hobbes asked. "We can't leave it here in thug alley."
"Good point." Calvin considered.
Calvin pulled a small remote control out of his utility belt, and hit the button.
Right before Hobbes's eyes, the Book Transport vanished.
"Now until I push that button again, the Machine is invisible."
"Nice touch." Hobbes said.
Calvin rolled his eyes.
"Let's go." He said.
Just then, a newspaper blew into Calvin's face.
"ACK! MONSTER! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME! QAAAAAA!"
"Calvin, it's a newspaper." Hobbes said.
"Oh yeah." Calvin grinned sheepishly, and read the headline.
Mass Brake out in Arkum Asylum
Please be on the look out on some of Gothom's most deadliest villians.
"Hobbes, look at this." Calvin said.
Hobbes leaned over and looked at the headline.
"It's listing off all of Batman's arch enemies! Look! Joker, Harley Quinn, Two Face, Mad Hatter, Penguin, Poison Ivy, Clayface, Killer Croc, Mr Freeze, Ras' Al Gaul, Scarecrow, Bane, Baby Doll, and the Riddler! Or as I like to call them, Laughing Moron, Hardly Quinn, Ugly face, Toothy, Sardine Breath, Plant lady, Mud brain, Alligator man, Dr Refrigerator, Mr Magic, Corncob man, Inbane, Toy Moron, and Question Mark Man."
"Gosh, Batman certainty has quite a collection of unrealistic villains." Hobbes said.
"Yeah I know! Did that Bob Kane guy come up with a great idea, or what?" Calvin grinned.
Just then, Calvin saw something out of the corner of his eye.
Hobbes saw it too.
"Either Gothom is being invaded by giant pteredactles, or I just saw Batty himself."
"HEY!" Calvin yelled. "I wanted to see him! What did he look like?"
"Well, not all that much different than the comic book." Hobbes said.
"Come on! Which way did he go?"
Hobbes pointed off to the southwest.
"LET'S GO!" Calvin bolted off.
Hobbes rushed to keep up.
Calvin jumped over the buildings, chasing the shadow off in the distance.
"Your Mom's not going to like the idea of you jumping across buildings like this." Hobbes said.
"Shut up!" Calvin yelled. "We're trying to keep a secret identity! My name's not Calvin!"
"Well, I didn't exactly say 'Calvin', Calvin." Hobbes muttered.
Just then, the shadow dropped down into a building and out of sight.
Calvin did a nose dive into the building.
"How do you call a bat?" Calvin asked.
"Let me see your flashlight." Hobbes said.
Confused, Calvin gave Hobbes the flashlight. Hobbes turned it on, and set it on the table.
Then, he set his hands in front of it, in a weird shape.
"There. Homemade bat signal."
Calvin looked over at the wall.
Hobbes had his hands in the shape of a bat.
"very funny." Calvin said.
"hey what's that?" Hobbes asked.
"Voices!" Calvin said excitedly. "Let's go see!"
Calvin rushed down the hallway.
Hobbes had no choice but to follow.
Calvin reached a door, at the end of the hallway.
He peeked inside.
His eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.
"Hobbes?" Calvin whispered. "Do you know who's in there?"
"Please tell me it's a good guy." Hobbes said.
"It's Ugly Face!"
"Which Villain is that in your weird code?"
"Two Face." Calvin said.
"That's what I thought."
"Ok, Battiger." Calvin whispered. "We're gonna jump in there, and secure the area! I'll take on ugly, you do his men! And if one of us doesn't return... We've had a good friendship."
"Define good." Hobbes said.
"It's had its ups and downs."
"More downs than ups."
"Shut up, and get in there." Calvin mumbled.
Calvin and Hobbes burst into the room.
Two Face, and his men looked up.
"FREEZE TURKEYS!" Calvin screamed. "We have this place surrounded! You're under arrest, Ugly!"
"Oh look!" One of the men said. "It's Batman and Robin! How cute!"
Another thug drew out a knife.
"Shall I stick them on the wall?" He snarled.
Two Face stared at Calvin.
He drew his coin out of his pocket.
"Of corse!" Calvin screamed, throwing his arms in the air. "Can't make a choice without flipping a coin! MY life would be so darn boring if it had come down to heads or tails! Right Battiger?"
Hobbes had disappeared.
"You stupid cat! How on Earth do you do that? Get back here. And fight ugly with me!"
"Well, Calvin," Hobbes' voice said. "I'd love to fight Two Face with you, but my leg's been acting up lately, and... OH THE PAIN!"
"Quit with the excuses, and get down here! He's just a half human half burned up monster."
"Bye Calvin! Good luck with the Ugly!"
"Wait Battiger! He's about to do his famous flip of the coin! Which I've seen about a billion times already, so it's not that much of a big deal, but still!"
Calvin then heard that famous flip, that you always hear every time you see that guy.
Calvin turned around.
Everybody watched the coin suspended in mid air for a second, then it landed in Ugly's hand.
It landed on a scratched up side.
"Of corse." Calvin said.
The thug grinned, and lurched for Calvin.
Calvin didn't seem worried at all.
Calvin held up, a yellow device, and pressed the red button in the middle.
All at once, Calvin was holding the knife, and the thug was holding a rubber ducky.
He stared at Calvin in shock.
"Good old Time Pauser." Calvin said, throwing the knife away. "Never let me down, yet!"
He was about to hit the button again, and escape.
But just then, Something that looked like a Giant Bat burst into the room.