And now back to Calvin's Batman Adventure! On Calvin and Hobbes: The Series!
"BATMAN!" Calvin screamed with glee.
Hobbes peeked out from behind a crate of boxes and looked at the Dark Knight.
Just then a part of the walls collapsed, and Robin burst in.
"And you're the Birdly Wonder Himself!" Calvin screamed.
Batman and Robin stared at the six year old in a Batman outfit.
"Get them!" Two Face screamed in his deep voice.
The thugs closed in on Batman, Robin, Calvin and Hobbes.
"Watch and learn, junior!" Calvin said to Robin.
Calvin whipped out a batrang and... Robin already had the thug down.
"HEY!" Calvin screamed.
"you're gonna gave to be faster than that!" Robin grinned.
"Alright!" Calvin turned to another thug.
Robin had him down.
Calvin turned to another thug.
Robin had him down.
"OH COME ON!" Calvin screamed.
"watch and learn, junior!" Robin said flying past Calvin.
"That's my line!" Calvin complained.
Hobbes grinned, and walked out from the crate.
Batman was closing in on Two Face.
Two Face whipped out a gun, but just then, Calvin dropped onto him.
"HA HA! DIE! UGLY FIEND! DIE! DIE! DIE!"
Two Face waved his hands around, trying to get Calvin off his head.
"Get off me you brat!"
Batman jumped back in alarm.
"HA HA! DIE FIEND!"
Batman and Robin gawked at the crazed kid on Two Face.
"Who is that?" Whispered Robin.
Just then, Hobbes leaped into sight for the first time, Batman and Robin directed their attention at Hobbes, as he flipped out a couple of batrnags, and tossed them at Two Face.
He collapsed, and Calvin fell off.
But right when Two Face looked defeated, he grabbed something from his pocket, pushed the button, and disappeared.
"Oh Darn it!" Calvin yelled. "We didn't get him! I hate when that happens!"
Just then, a hands closed over Calvin and Hobbes' cowls, and ripped them off.
"AAAA!" Calvin screamed. "We've been exposed! And only after five minutes of crime fighting!"
Robin ripped off Calvin's cowl revealing the yellow spiky hair of Calvin, and Batman ripped Hobbes' off, revealing Hobbes' orange head, with stripes.
Calvin and Hobbes spun around.
Robin was holding onto Calvin's cowl, and grinning, and Batman, had a hold of Hobbes'.
"Do you know what this means, Hobbes?" Calvin asked. "We'll have to change our names, move to another state, grow a beard and shave it off, then start all over, again! From now on, We're no longer Calvin and Hobbes!"
"Well, you've just told them our names." Hobbes said.
Calvin thought about that for a second, then slapped his forehead.
"Calvin and Hobbes, eh?" Robin joked. "What weird names for crime fighters."
"Oh really?" Calvin snarled. "Well, I suggest that you just keep it to yourselves that our names are Calvin and Hobbes, bucko!"
"Oh really?" Robin asked. "Why should we do that?"
"Because," Calvin said. "We know that Bruce Wayne is Bat-brain and Dick Grayson is the Birdly Wonder."
Batman and Robin stared at Calvin and Hobbes in shock.
"How did you know that!" Robin snarled.
"Lucky guess." Hobbes replied.
Batman grabbed Calvin by the shirt collar.
"HEY!" Calvin yelled. "My Dad's a lawyer! Don't lay a glove on me!"
"If you tell any one the secret, we'll be very grumpy. You don't want to see us when we're grumpy!"
"Fine! Fine!" Calvin said. "You don't tell anybody our secret, we won't you!"
Batman narrowed his eyes, then put Calvin onto the floor.
"So, Guano-man." Calvin said, grabbing his cowl away from Robin. "are you gonna train us to be good fighters? Hobbes get you mask!"
Hobbes took his cowl from Batman, and slipped it on.
Batman and Robin exchanged glances.
"No." Batman said finally.
Calvin cleared his throat.
"I wonder if I could afford Neon lights to hang above your mansion saying "See here for glimpse at Guano-man and Bird brain"?"
Batman and Robin exchanged glances again.
They knew Calvin had them cornered.
Either teach Calvin and Hobbes the ropes, or loose their identities.
"alright!" Batman sighed. "Come on! You know how to use these right?"
Batman held up a Batrope.
"Are you kidding!" Calvin yelled. "I've been practicing that thing before I even got it!"
Calvin whipped it out, and pointed it at a building, and hit the button.
The rope shot out of the device, and hooked onto a building.
Calvin hit the other button, and zoomed off.
Batman, Robin, and Hobbes followed.
Batman and Robin spent the next few hours teaching Calvin and Hobbes the ropes.
Of corse, Calvin had to cause some trouble.
Calvin had arrested three old ladies for "illegal poodle ownership", bagged four Bull Dogs saying that they broke the fire hydrant Law of America, and turned in ten shocked people who had "illegally thrown candy wrappers into a trash can".
Hobbes, of corse, was Mr Perfect, and learned everything correctly.
Just then, the real test came, while Batman was explaining to Calvin that Poodle man wasn't a villain, Something hit the ground with a thump.
Batman, Calvin and Hobbes spun around.
Robin was laying unconscious on the ground, and Killer Croc was standing over him.
He grinned evilly.
In quick response, Batman dove for Killer Croc.
Croc slapped Batman with one mighty WHACK!
Batman crashed into a building, and fell unconscious.
"AH HA!" Calvin screamed. "It's Bat-Guy's arch enemy! Alligator man! Surrender fiend! Or face the wrath of Batboy and Battiger!"
Calvin looked behind him.
Hobbes had disappeared, again.
How'd that dumb tiger do that?
Croc threw his reptilian head back and laughed.
Calvin whipped out a batrang and flung it at Croc.
It bounced off his chest.
"Nice effect." Calvin observed. "Alright. Plan B!"
"What's that?" Croc snarled advancing over Calvin.
"Running for my life, screaming like a deranged loon." Calvin replied.
"I think so." Calvin spun around, and ran for his life, screaming like a deranged loon.
Croc grinned, evilly, and turned back to the unconscious Batman and Robin.
Just then, something dropped onto Croc's head.
It was Hobbes.
Hobbes had all paws extended with claws, and was scratching up as much of Corc as possible.
Croc screamed, and threw Hobbes off. However, like a tiger, Hobbes was able to maneuver himself around the alley with out crashing into things.
He leaped into the air, and pounced into Croc.
Croc must have been made of metal or something.
Anyway, Hobbes crashed into Croc, probably fractured his skull, and didn't make a mark on him.
Croc grabbed Hobbes by the tail, and lifted him, high above the ground.
"Could I just go back to the idea of hiding?" Hobbes asked.
"too late for that, now, cat!" Croc snarled. "I don't allow attacks without some kind of punishment!"
"I was afraid of that." Hobbes said.
Croc threw his head back and laughed.
"Release my friend, fiend!" shouted a voice.
Croc ripped around, Hobbes still in his hand.
Calvin was standing a few feet away, his cape blowing in the wind.
"Never fear, Battiger!" Calvin called. "I shall save you."
"Huh." Hobbes said. "I'm even more doomed than I thought."
Calvin ripped something out of his utility belt.
It was a rubber duck.
"Oops. wrong pocket."
Calvin pulled out a keyboard.
"That's not it either."
Calvin pulled out a Batman comic book.
"That's not it."
"See?" Hobbes said.
Croc growled, and dropped Hobbes.
He advanced over Calvin.
Calvin was in the process of trying to get a bazooka out of his belt.
"Now it's stuck!" Calvin said, embarrassed. "I doubt Batman has to go through this!"
"Maybe it's because Batman didn't carry TVs and wood stoves in his pocket." Hobbes advised.
"Hey my motto is always be prepared!" Calvin said.
"Is that a cement truck?" Hobbes asked.
"Yes, why?" Calvin asked.
"Just wondering." Hobbes said, rolling his eyes.
Croc grabbed Calvin by the collar.
"listen, punk," He said, dangerously. "I'm not in the mood for jokes! Now get out of my sight, or face the punishment!"
"NOW I FOUND IT!"
Calvin held up a bottle.
Croc read the label.
"Lizard-Be-Gone?" He asked, confused.
"It even has a one hundred percent satisfaction grantee!" Calvin said. "See? Says so right here."
Calvin held the can over Corc's face, and sprayed it in his eyes.
Croc dropped Calvin and clutched his face.
He screeched, and tried to rub it out of his eyes.
"You are dead!" He screeched. "DEAD!"
Calvin read the label.
"if swallowed, please contact Poison Control Immediately. Gosh, Alligator Man, I hope I didn't get any of that stuff in your mouth!"
He smacked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, and then screamed, he then tripped and fell into the sewers.
"Did you really poison him?" Hobbes asked.
"Nah!" Calvin said. "It said 'will not have any lasting effect on lizards. Keep out of reach of children.'"
"You're a children, you know." Hobbes said, brushing himself off.
"No, I'm Batboy!" Calvin growled.
Just then, Batman and Robin came to.
"Well," Calvin said. "While you two were taking naps, I just dramatically defeated Alligator man."
Batman and Robin stared at Calvin.
"you beat Killer Croc!" Robin said, shocked. "So quickly?"
Calvin held up a stop watch.
"It took me one minute thirteen seconds, twelve milliseconds." Calvin said.
Batman and Robin blinked.
"well," Batman said. "If you can beat Croc so quickly, I guess your in."
"Might I add he used shortcuts?" Hobbes asked. "I also have absolutely no idea where he got a can labeled Lizard-Be-Gone."
Calvin hid the can behind his back.
"So," Alfred said, later that day. "Shall I show Master Calvin the Batcave?"
Calvin ripped his cowl off, and turned to Hobbes.
"He called me master Calvin! Can you believe that!"
"No." Hobbes said.
"You're Master Hobbes, right?" Alfred asked.
Hobbes took off his cowl, and grinned.
"Yes, as a matter of fact." He said.
"How dare you address Hobbes like that!" Calvin yelled. "I am your master! On the floor, and give me twenty!"
Alfred rolled his eyes, and walked off, signaling for Calvin and Hobbes to follow.
As soon as Alfred opened the entrance to the batcave, the wreck was on.
Calvin slipped on his mask, and ripped about the batcave, knocking stuff off the tables in the process.
"BATBOY ZOOMS ACROSS THE SKY!" Calvin screamed.
Hobbes sighed, and shook his head.
After Calvin was shown the Batcave, they all went into the kitchen.
"I'm famished!" Calvin complained. "Crime fighting really does ya in! Here ya go, Horus."
Calvin flipped a plastic coin into Alfred's hands.
"It's Alfred." Alfred said, as Calvin grabbed a soda pop from the fridge.
"Alfred?" Bruce asked, coming down the stairs. "would you please watch over Calvin for me? Me and Dick are going "out" for the night."
"Of corse, Master Bru..."
"I heard that!" Calvin screamed, pointing a finger at Bruce. "Trying to get the slip on me, huh? Won't work, Bat breath!"
"He's worse than The Joker." Alfred muttered.
"BEWARE CRIMINALS!" Batboy screamed atop the roof of a building. "For there is a new form of bat-super heros mutant things! And we shall not rest until every criminal in Whatever city is brought to Just..."
"WILL YOU SHUT UP?" Screamed a resident in the building. "THAT'S THE FOURTEENTH TIME YOU SAID THAT! WE'RE TRYING TO SLEEP!"
Batboy crossed his arms, and his face fell into a pout.
"Huh!" He yelled. "It would appear that some people don't care about the general public! SEE IF I SAVE YOU DUMBBELLS IF LAUGHING MORON AND QUESTION MARK MAN ATTACKS YOU!"
"Can we go now?" Robin asked, his head rested against the building frame.
"Yeah." Battiger said. "We've been here for three hours."
"What? Batman wanted me to make announcements, here." Batboy said.
"Batman has been gone for three hours." Battiger yawned.
"What, you think I didn't know that?" Batboy snarled.
"Notice that Robin has just vanished, too." Battiger said.
Batboy looked down.
Hmmm... It would appear that The Birdly Wonder had... well... vanished.
"Oh, I hate it when they do that!" Batboy muttered.
"Well, are we going to follow them, or stay here and scream 'til our lungs fall out?" Battiger said.
"I'm guessing he chose number one." Battiger said.
"HEY!" Batboy called. "Wait for me!"
Robin dropped down into a building.
"Can't give me the slip so easily." Batboy muttered. "Where did he go?"
Battiger swooped down next to Calvin.
"Did you loose the birdy?" He asked.
"No." Batboy said. "I happen to know he's on this planet!"
"Brilliant, Holmes." Battiger said.
"Well, we better go look for them." Batboy said.
Batboy and Battiger left the building.
"Alright." Batboy said. "we are going to prove to Guano-man and Bird-Brain that we are worthy of being in their stupid team."
"Mmm." Battiger said. "how do you plan on doing that?"
"We are going to bring every last villain to justice!" Batboy snarled. "one at a time! I'll show them!"
Battiger rolled his eyes. "Right. which villain are you going to start with?"
"The most famous one of all!" Batboy grinned.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out the crippled newspaper.
"I'm guessing that you're either referring to that whack who dresses up like a circus clown, or yourself." Battiger said.
"Ignoring that." Batboy muttered.
"Alright." Batboy said from atop the building. "First we have to find Laughing Moron before we can defeat him."
"News flash." Battiger said.
"Let's see, Hobbes. If you were a demented, psychotic, grinning maniac, where would you hide?"
"A circus?" Battiger asked.
"No, there isn't a circus in Something City, right now. Where else?"
"Maybe that creepy building." Battiger pointed at a building a few feet away.
"Too obvious." Batboy said. "Laughing Moron may be a moron, but's he a moron in a moronically intelligent way."
"What a Moron." Battiger said.
"Tell me about it." Batboy said.
"Ok, Hobbes think! In the old TV show, where did Joker used to hide?"
"I haven't seen the old TV show." Battiger said.
"How do you survive!" Batboy yelled. "alright! Forget that! I've got an idea!"
Batboy grinned like a maniac, and pushed a button on his belt.
Instantly, the Book Transport flew up to Calvin.
Only now, it was colored blue, and had the word bat-thingy on it.
"Hop in, trusty sidekick!" Batboy yelled. "we shall search the old fashioned way!"
Battiger sighed, and got in.
Batboy and Battiger spent the next few minutes patrolling the skies.
"We still haven't found him!" Batboy declared.
"Terror." muttered Battiger.
"I wonder if any of my inventions could help." Batboy pulled out his Time Pauser, MTM, Transmogrifier gun, and mini duplicator.
"Hmmm." Batboy considered. "I wonder..."
Batboy held up his MTM.
He opened up the Main Menu.
Oh Horror. Batman has come to arrest me.
"You have a sassy MTM." Battiger said.
"I know, isn't it great?" Batboy replied.
Batboy clicked around on the MTM for a second, and then with a blast of electricity, they vanished.