End of Season Bonus
(Shows Calvin and Hobbes in the tree house dressed up as pirates)
Calvin: ARGH! Land hoe! Throw out the anchor!
Hobbes: We don't have an anchor.
Calvin: ARGH! There be a man here who destroyed me anchor! Sniff out the culprit 'n' make 'em walk the plank!
Hobbes: We don't have a plank.
Calvin: There be mutiny on me ship! This really bad news, matey!
Calvin: However, there be some good news!
Hobbes: And what might that be?
Calvin: I just saved a ton of money on me car insurance by switching to Geico!
(There was a long moment of silence. Hobbes stared at Calvin)
Hobbes: Is this some kind of pathetic attempt at humor?
(Geico logo comes up)
Narrator: Geico. Fifteen minutes can save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance.
(Some guy walks into his house, and finds it trashed)
Some Guy: Hey! What's going on here?
(Calvin walks into the livingroom, licking an ice creme)
Calvin: I'm the Calvin and Hobbes Movie you ordered. You have a great taste in ice creme, I might add.
Some guy: That's good, you're here. But where's that romantic comedy my wife ordered?
(Calvin and Some Guy stared at the immense clutter on the floor)
Calvin: They were here a minute ago. They have to in there, someplace. Well have fun looking for them.
(Calvin starts out of the room)
Some Guy: Where do you think YOU'RE going!
Calvin: I haven't seen your bedroom yet.
(Calvin walks out, and Hobbes rushes in, nearly insane with happiness)
Hobbes: Where did you get all that salmon!
Some Guy: SIGH.
Narrator: Netflix. Your unlimited selection to the best hit movies. Starting under thirteen dollars a month.
Jazzy music starts to play.
Shot of Calvin and Hobbes swinging through trees.
Narrator: The world of Calvin & Hobbes is now available for your own enjoyment.
Mr. Spittle: Calvin, why don't you do the reports assigned to you?
Calvin:Because, Mr. Spitty.
Narrator: America's favorite kid and tiger are now available to own on video and DVD.
Shot of Calvin and Hobbes race through JC Penny's.
Shot of Calvin running through his school.
Shot of Hobbes pouncing Calvin.
Shot of Calvin and Hobbes beating each other up in Dad's office.
Shot of Calvin and Hobbes eating cookies and watching television.
Narrator:Watch them take on bad weather…
A twister heads for Calvin and Hobbes.
Calvin: Help. Cry for help.
Narrator: …talk to a doctor…
Dr Sam: First, what is your name?
Calvin: Calvin the Bold.
Dr Sam: How old are you?
Calvin: 27, and my voice hasn't changed yet.
Dr Sam: Uuuhh-huuuuh.
Narrator: …try to break a record…
Calvin: When I make eleven thousand marbles, I'll have the prize money.
Hobbes: They give away prize money?
Narrator: …and escape from his school.
Hobbes: You're supposed to be at school…or is the calendar wrong?
Calvin: I am at school.
Hobbes: They sure let the kids off early these days.
Shot of Calvin and Hobbes on the roof with wind blowing.
Shot of Calvin ripping apart Dr Sam's office.
Shot of Hobbes eating a tuna fish sandwich.
Shot of Calvin and Hobbes in a helicopter.
Shot of Calvin and Hobbes watching television.
Narrator: Calvin & Hobbes the Series: Classic Calvin and Heavenly Hobbes. Now available on DVD and video!
Calvin: I'm great because I'm Calvin!
Featured Episodes: BIRTH OF A FRIENDSHIP, WORLD'S GREATEST CALVIN, CALVIN GETS PROFESSIONAL HELP, THE MIGHTY SCHOOL ESCAPE, & THE BLACK TURNING FUNNEL
Shot of Calvin and Hobbes standing in his bedroom.
Calvin (singing): On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, 12 snowballs whacking! 11 water balloons splashing! 10 bowls of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs! 9 driving lessons! 8 Televisions. 7 bunny slippers. 6 cats of pranking! FIVE BILLION PRESENTS! 4 internet modems. 3 Time Pausers. 2 flamethrowers! AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!
Jazzy music plays.
Narrator: Calvin and Hobbes are back in an all new DVD.
Calvin wears a hat decorated with the American flag, an Uncle Sam beard, and dances across Mom and Dad's bed while singing The Star Sprinkled Banner.
Calvin: TODAY'S THE FOURTH OF JULY!
Narrator: Now we get to join them for the holidays.
Socrates: Man, Halloween is my favorite time of year! All these little kids to scare out of their limited wits!
Shot of Calvin and Hobbes watching the ghosts in the basement.
Shot of Calvin and Hobbes flying Santa's sleigh.
Shot of Calvin and Hobbes holding their fireworks.
Shot of Calvin and Hobbes building snowmen.
Narrator: They'll celebrate Christmas.
Calvin: Either get in the box or stay here. I'm going to the North Pole!
Hobbes: I'll stay here.
Narrator: They'll celebrate Halloween.
Calvin grabs the phone.
Hobbes: You gonna call?
Calvin: GHOST BUSTERS!
Hobbes: YOU FOOL! IT'S THEIR BUSIEST NIGHT!
Narrator: They'll celebrate Independence Day.
Calvin: Dad, as of now, has deprived us of Independence Day!
Hobbes (writing): Doesn't give us fireworks. Many mutters of agreement.
Narrator: And they'll also celebrate Easter!
Calvin: That was the best Easter Egg hunt ever, Hobbes!
Narrator: That's right. Never before seen on TV, it's the Eggs for Calvin special.
Calvin: I seek a critter known as Peter Cocoa Tail. Ever heard of him?
Narrator:Calvin & Hobbes the Series: Hall-Indep-East-Mas Day. Now available on DVD and video!
Calvin: God Bless America!
Featured Episodes: A CALVIN AND HOBBES CHRISTMAS, FULL MOON OF BOLONEY, NAUGHTY FIREWORKS, & EGGS FOR CALVIN
Narrator: One boy...
(Shows Calvin running through the yard)
Narrator: One tiger...
(Shows Hobbes pouncing Calvin)
Narrator:... ONE DISASTER AFTER ANOTHER!
(Fast jazzy music starts)
Calvin and Hobbes (going down Sneer Hill in the wagon): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Narrator: Based on Bill Watterson's masterpiece newspaper comic...!
(Shows Calvin and Hobbes blasting Susie with a water balloon.
Shows Calvin running through the woods wearing a mask, and holding a volleyball.
Shows Hobbes pouncing Calvin as he enters the front door.
Shows Calvin and Hobbes fighting on the floor.
Shows Socrates arguing with Sherman, while Calvin, Hobbes, and Andy watch.)
(There's a crash of cymbals, and the title comes up in big red words in Calvin and Hobbes font)
Narrator: CALVIN AND HOBBES: THE SERIES. A brand new nicktoon on Nickelodeon. TIME FOR SOME FUN!
(Nickelodeon logo pops up)
The Night of the Living Television
Narrator: On the next, all new, Calvin and Hobbes...
(Shows Calvin unplugging TV, shows TV coming on anyway)
Narrator: Calvin's got some electric problems.
Calvin: The TV! It's ALIVE!
Hobbes: Of course it is, Calvin, is this a Stupendous Man, Spaceman Spiff, or Tracer Bullet thing?
Narrator: And this time, the electrician won't do any good.
Demented TV (lifting several mechanical things off the ground): AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Calvin and Hobbes (all tangled up in phone wires): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Shows electricity shooting at Calvin through the power box.
TV (turning a sharp glare on Hobbes): Nobody can stop me!
Hobbes (leaping from the way as a blast of electricity goes past): AAAAA!
Narrator: It''s an all new Calvin and Hobbes. Friday at seven.
Nickelodeon logo pops up.
Narrator: Only on Nick.
The Case of the Rouge Water Balloon
Narrator: Coming up on the next all-new Calvin & Hobbes……
Susie: AAAAA CALVIN! I'M TELLING!
Narrator: Susie's been soaked!
Calvin stares at the water balloon in his hand.
Narrator: But Calvin didn't do it!
Calvin: I DEMAND A LAWYER! I DEMAND A PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH! I DEMAND JUDGE JUDY!
Pictures of Hobbes, Socrates, Andy, Sherman, Mom, Dad, Rosalyn, Moe, Dr Brainstorm, Jack and Miss Wormwood appear on the screen with question marks in front of them.
Narrator: So who did!
Calvin: We're opening up a full scale investigation!
Narrator: Can Tracer Bullet and Tiger Eye solve this crime? Find out in the season finale of Calvin & Hobbes: the Series! This Tuesday in Nick's Investigative Series at eight, seven central.
Calvin: Are you ready for action?
Hobbes: Oh joy. Wonder. Uncontrollable excitement.
The Yellowstone Monster
Narrator: Don't miss brand new, action packed episode of Calvin and Hobbes
Dr Brainstorm: You're in my secret lair. And I am DOCTOR BRAINSTORM! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
(Calvin and Hobbes exchange glances)
Narrator: Calvin and Hobbes are taking a trip to Yellowstone, itself!
Calvin: HOBBES! WE NEED TO STOP YELLOWSTONE FROM ERUPTING!
Hobbes: Did you just say what I thought you just said?
Calvin: Yes, I did say what you thought I just said! We're going to disable the super volcano under Yellowstone National Park!
Narrator: But bad guy has other ideas...
Dr Brainstorm: I'll steal all his inventions, and make the volcano under the park erupt!
Jack: Whatever you say, Frank.
Dr Brainstorm: DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!
Narrator: Can Calvin and Hobbes save the day before Dr Brainstorm destroys it?
Shot of the super volcano sending ash and lava flying straight into the sky
Calvin and Hobbes: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGUH!
Narrator: Find out in a brand new Calvin and Hobbes. Friday at seven. Only on Nick.
Season Two Preview
Narrator: Coming soon to Nickelodeon……
Calvin and Hobbes fly through the air in the Time Machine with a Pterodactyl chasing them.
Narrator: ……everyone's favorite boy and tiger are back in an all-new season!
Socrates: Oh goody.
Narrator: A season of excitement!
A deranged monkey runs around Hobbes.
Hobbes: Help. Cry for help.
Narrator: A season of adventure!
A mountain lion chases Socrates up a tree.
Socrates: REMEMBER THAT PLACE IN TEXAS!
Narrator: A season of danger!
Hobbes and Andy are jumping in front of Dr Brainstorm.
Dr Brainstorm: OUT OF MY WAY!
Andy: Make us.
Narrator: A season of……product placement?
Hobbes: Who's up for the What About Bob? movie!
Calvin & Socrates: I AM!
Shot of Calvin, Hobbes and Andy outside an old western jail house.
Shot of Hobbes rocking Calvin in a rocking bed.
Shot of Socrates in a cell talking to Jack.
Shot of Calvin shooting the Mega-Shrinker 5000.
Shot of Sherman stepping out of the Transmogrifier.
The words CALVIN & HOBBES pop up on the screen.
Narrator: Catch an all new season of Calvin & Hobbes: the Series this summer on Nick.
Shot of Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Socrates playing Calvinball.
Shot of Socrates in transmission mode with Calvin and Hobbes watching.
Shot of Sherman cowering in a corner.
Shot of Calvin and Hobbes taking a bow.
Please now refer to CALVIN AND HOBBES: THE SERIES (SEASON TWO) to see the next TV movie, TIME TERROR.
Thank you for reading Season one.