Summary: With the help of his alter egos, Calvin attempts to escape from school.
And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series
The Mighty School Escape
Calvin tapped his pencil on his desk.
His eyes weren't in focus, and he wasn't paying attention to Miss Wormwood as she taught her class math.
Susie was sitting next to him, glaring at him and muttered, "Calvin, stop tapping your pencil, you're driving me crazy! You're going to flunk 1st grade!"
Calvin didn't listen to her. He had completely checked out and was in laa laa land.
"Spaceman Spiff is being held prisoner at planet Zeek! Our hero devises a brilliant plan!"
"Calvin would you please present the next problem on the board?"
Calvin cut his eyes from side to side.
"It appears that Spiff is about to be sacrificed! A god they call nol-eje!"
Calvin stood up and inched for the board.
"Inching closer to the sacrificial pit, Spiff reaches for a Zorcher ray he had concealed in his utility belt!"
Calvin grabbed something out of his pocket, and whirled around.
"YAAAAH!" he screamed. "ALRIGHT! NOBODY MOVE! I'M OUT OF HERE!"
Miss Wormwood rolled her eyes.
"Calvin. Give me that rubber band, right this minute."
"I SAID NOBODY MOVE!" Calvin roared.
Calvin began backing up.
"Now I'm going to back up slowly, and if anyone tries anything... YOU'RE TOAST!"
And with that, Calvin flew out of the room.
No one was surprised.
Calvin zoomed down the hall.
He stopped, narrowed his eyes, and looked around in all directions.
Just then, he heard footsteps.
Thinking quickly, Calvin leaped into a locker, and laid low.
Miss Wormwood past the locker, muttering about her retirement.
After she had left, Calvin sighed, and tried to open the locker.
He tried again.
That wasn't good.
Calvin dropped Spaceman Spiff and started up a hero that could help him.
Calvin took off his backpack, and pulled his Stupendous Man cape and cowl.
He put it on and thought, "STUPENDOUS MAN is being trapped by his arch enemy THE CRAB TEACHER! Our hero attempts an escape!"
Calvin banged his fists into the locker door.
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG !BANG!
"Great moons of Neptune!" Stupendous man exclaimed. "Crab Teacher as installed a metal IMMUNE to STUPENDOUS MAN'S stupendous strength! Our hero attempts to break it with his STUPENDOUS SCREAM!"
Stupendous Man took a deep breath in and let out a sonic scream.
"GET ME OUT OF THIS LOCKER! HELP! HELP! AAAA! OPEN THIS DOOR! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Red shockwaves hit the locker door, bounced off, and went right back into Stupendous Man's face knocking him over.
"Great rings of Jupiter!" Stupendous Man exclaimed. "The metal is immune to my STUPENDOUS SCREAM!"
Stupendous man rubbed his head, then plunged into his very last idea.
He laid down on the floor of the locker, propped his feet against the door, and pushed.
"RRRRRRGH!" Stupendous Man grunted as the metal slowly started to bend.
Finally, he had made a gap large enough for him to slip through.
He then took his costume back, and switched back to Spaceman Spiff.
"Spiff searches space center for his space jet!" Calvin narrated.
He peeked into a room, and saw Miss Wormwood talking with Mr Spittle.
"The alien has sent out a backup request signal to the mother ship!" Calvin thought. "Spiff thinks fast!"
As Miss Wormwood prepared to exit the office, Spiff slipped into the bathroom.
"Our hero hides in an alien restroom. He takes refuge in a stall."
Spiff bolted into a stall and waited.
Suddenly, somebody came into the bathroom, and started walking in the direction of the stall Spiff was in.
"I was trapped in the bathroom stall." Calvin said, switching to Tracer Bullet. "The goon closed in. I had noplace to go! I..."
The person walked into the stall next to Tracer, and he breathed a sigh of relief. Then slipped out of the bathroom.
He burst from the bathroom, and took a suspicious look around.
Suddenly, Calvin heard a voice behind him.
Calvin leaped in seven directions at once, and bolted off.
"What a weirdo." Susie muttered.
Calvin zoomed into an empty classroom.
He looked around.
It must have been the fourth grade classroom.
Suddenly, Calvin heard footsteps again.
He dove under the teacher's desk as Mrs. Rose, the fourth grade teacher, came into the room with some papers.
She sat down at the desk, and Calvin found himself pressing himself against the desk to avoid detection.
"Our hero is trapped between an alien! Spiff pulls he electo-band out of his pocket."
Calvin pulled a rubber band out of his pocket, and snapped it against the teacher's leg.
Mrs. Rose leaped into the air, knocking the desk over, and Calvin bolted out of the room.
Calvin leaped into the gym.
He switched back to Spaceman Spiff, and peeked at a piece of paper on the door.
Calvin glanced at his watch.
Calvin dove behind a closet door as Mr Lockjaw burst into the gym with the 3rd and 4rth graders.
"ALRIGHT!" Lockjaw boomed. "Let's get physical!"
Spiff watched the gym class with horror.
"Spiff observes the aliens in boot camp! He attempts his getaway!"
Calvin leaps into the crowd, and tries to blend in.
Then, while Mr Lockjaw wasn't looking, he rushed out.
He raced over to a pay telephone, took out a couple of quarters, and started dialing a number.
Ri–i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ng! Ri–i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ng! Ri–i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ng! Ri–i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ng! Ri–i-i... Click. "Hello?"
"Hobbes!" Calvin exclaimed. "This is Calvin."
"Aren't you suppose to be at school?" Hobbes asked. "Or is the calender wrong?"
"I AM AT SCHOOL!" Calvin said, impatiently. "Quick! Is mom at the house?"
"She's at the grocery store." Hobbes said.
"He's a lawyer." Hobbes replied.
"Great!" Calvin grinned. "So you're alone?"
"Besides this tuna fish sandwich in my hand, yeah, I'm alone." Hobbes yawned.
"Wonderful!" Calvin cheered. "Time me! I'll be home within the hour!"
"They sure let kids off early these days." Hobbes sighed, as Calvin slammed the phone onto the hook.
Calvin looked around, again, then bolted into the cafeteria where there was a...
Calvin was POSITIVE there was an emergency exit in that room! Calvin had sat there and stared at it everyday!
Just then, Calvin heard footsteps again.
He dove under a table, and tried to become a pancake, invisible to the naked eye.
Miss Wormwood entered the room, and turned to the lunch ladies.
"Have you seen Calvin?" She asked.
The Lunch Ladies shook their heads, and Miss Wormwood left.
Calvin crept out of the cafeteria, and started for the exit.
Calvin jumped eight feet into the air, hit his head on the ceiling, and crashed onto the floor, as the classrooms emptied, and hundreds of kids started walking over him.
Calvin stood up, and started brushing himself off.
Suddenly, Miss Wormwood spotted him.
"THERE YOU ARE!" She screamed reaching for him.
Calvin blasted a hole into the crowd, and exploded out the door.
He turned to the classroom for a last shot.
"TAKE THAT YOU SLIMY, BUG EYED, BOOGER BRAINED MORONS! AND THE NEXT TIME YOU GET AN URGE TO ATTACK SPACEMAN SPI..."
My goodness, that face Miss Wormwood had would've made trees burst into flame.
Calvin aborted the last shot, and proceeded to run for his life.
He zoomed down the streets, and didn't slow down until he reached his house.
Mom's car wasn't in the driveway, which was good.
Calvin tried the door.
It was locked, so he raced around to the window, and pried it open.
He climbed in and rushed over to Hobbes, who was sitting on the couch, and watching Animal Planet.
"What's my time!" He panted, holding his chest.
Hobbes looked down at his stopwatch.
"Forty-five minutes, three seconds." He replied.
Calvin pumped his arm into the air.
"Yes! That's a new record! Any calls from the school, yet?"
"Nope. Not yet." Hobbes replied.
At that very moment, Mom came into the drive.
"Well, the hurricane has arrived." Hobbes said. "See ya later."
And with a blear of orange and a burst of strong wind, Hobbes vanished.
Calvin's eyes rolled over to the door, which unlocked, and Mom walked into the room.
She stared at Calvin.
"What are you doing here!" She demanded.
Calvin rolled his eyes around.
"Uh... there was a gas leak. We were all evacuated." Calvin said.
Mom's eyes narrowed.
"What? Does anyone know you left? I'm calling the school!"
Mom marched off.
"Don't waste your time!" Calvin called. "The school's empty! There's no one there!"
"Hello?" Mom said, over the phone. "Elementary school office, please."
"Spiff hadn't counted on a Zorcher enforcer ship! Our hero's maneuvers come to naught! THIS COULD BE THE END!"
Calvin trudged up to his room.
"I can't believe it!" he declared.
"What?" Hobbes asked, placing a comic book down.
"Mom drove me back to school, and talked to my teacher and Mr Spittle! Now I have extra homework!"
"Ouch." Hobbes muttered.
"And to make things worse, Dad's going to check my work to make sure I did it right!"
He handed the book to Hobbes.
"So be sure you do an extra good job, OK?"
Hobbes took the notebook.
"Your lucky tigers are so smart." He said.
Calvin smiled, and picked up a comic book.
It had been another adventure for Calvin.
And his three super hero buddies.
Pamela Segal: Calvin/Spaceman Spiff
Tom Hanks: Hobbes/Mr Lockjaw
Bill Murray: Stupendous Man/Tracer Bullet
Jennifer Love Hewitt: Mom/second grade teacher
Dakota Fanning: Susie
Mary Jo Catlett: Miss Wormwood
George Clooney: Mr Spittle
Dee Bradley Baker: Miscellaneous Voice work
Coming up next: Help Wanted!