You Ruined Everything

Is this your first time?

The sun fell through the small slats between the blinds and created small stripes of light across the small mattress lain on the floor underneath the window. Two figures lay intertwined, a crisp white sheet covering their bodies.

Hwoarang stirred in his sleep. Slowly, he opened his eyes and looked at the beautiful woman lying beside him. Her pale skin looked so soft in the dim light and her dark hair fell in waves across her slender body.

'She was good,' Hwoarang thought. 'For a beginner.'

He smirked and sat up in bed. Gently, he brushed a few strands of her long hair out of her eyes. He looked beside the mattress at the collection of discarded clothing; her small pink panties next to her black lace bra, his boxers beside them.

Hwoarang reached over to his boxers and pulled them on. When he looked back down at the sleeping girl next to him, her green eyes were staring up at his. She blushed slightly, feeling his gaze examine the curves and slopes of her body, hidden under the sheet.

You don't have to tell me,
'cause your lips, they don't lie
when we're kissing.

Hwoarang put his hand on her hip and lay down beside her. He put his forehead to hers and smiled. He pulled her body close to his.

"Xiaoyu," he whispered.

She smiled. There was a look in her eyes that he didn't understand.

Xiaoyu closed her eyes and their lips met. She had seemed timid and shy the night before but now she had a burst of confidence that Hwoarang couldn't explain.

When she opened her eyes again, he was staring at her. His hand had moved back to her waist and he was gently rubbing her back. She tried to smile, until she remembered him.

You're holding on, or something's
rather weighing you down.

'Jin Kazama,' she thought. Her mind was racing.

Hwoarang noticed the sudden look of shock on her face.

"It's ok," he whispered, though he wasn't sure what was wrong.

Xiaoyu lay still for a moment before she scrambled to put on her bra and panties again. She jumped out of bed and began looking for the rest of her clothing.

"What's the rush?" Hwoarang asked. It looked like something was really bothering her. She seemed preoccupied and strangely awry. Her cheerful demeanor had changed to one of near panic.

"It's nothing," she began. "I just-I forgot about something I have to do."

Hwoarang watched her pulling her gym pants on. He smiled to himself. She was different. She meant more to him than all of the other girls he'd been with.

I'll promise you one thing;
I don't intend to let you down

After retrieving her shirt and pulling in on over her head, she started towards the door. Hwoarang got out of bed and grabbed her wrist.

A look of panic flashed across her face. She stared up at him, her eyes begging for him to let her go.

"I'll see you again," he asked. "Right?"

Xiaoyu turned her gaze towards the floor. "I-I don't know," she stuttered.

Things last night had happened so fast. She remembered leaving the party with him shortly after seeing Jin with that other girl. 'Oh, what have I done?' she thought to herself.

I don't need to know whom you've been with,
'cause I know I'll love you better than him.

"It's," Hwoarang paused, gently cupping her chin and guiding her gaze back towards him. "It's Kazama, isn't it?"

Xiaoyu felt herself flush. She closed her eyes, trying to hide her shame. "It's j-just that," she stopped. She saw a new emotion in Hwoarang's big brown eyes: pain. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"No," he said. "You're only hurting yourself. Don't you see?"

Xiaoyu flinched. She knew.

"You're special," Hwoarang started. "Can't you see that? You're something so much better than what Kazama deserves."

Fighting back tears, she wrapped her arms around his waist. Burying her face in his chest, Xiaoyu sighed as a tear slid down her face.

"You deserve someone who's gonna love you," Hwoarang paused to look down at her and wipe the tears from her eyes. "Someone to love you always."

I'd armor your heart if you'd just let me in.

Xiaoyu looked up at Hwoarang. He was smiling, looking down at her with loving eyes. She gently reached up and brushed a few strands of loose hair out of his eyes.

He was so warm and inviting. It seemed wrong to still want Jin when she was with him. She knew, though, that there was a new desire in her heart. She wanted to believe that Hwoarang could take care of her, that he would love her and protect her. But something inside of her was cautious.

His lifestyle and behavior suggested otherwise. He was a man who lived for one night stands. There was no believing that he would still want her tomorrow.

Maybe I'm different.
I'm no better than you.

Xiaoyu wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, sweetly, before she turned towards the door again. She grabbed the doorknob and took a deep breath before she stepped into the hallway outside. She closed the door behind her without looking back.

Standing in the empty hallway, she felt so lonely. She shivered, not from cold, but from sorrow; she was trying to shake her tears away.

Slowly, she turned down the hallway and walked back to her room. The dark of it, the silence, the memories; everything about it seemed so uninviting. Lying down on the bed, Xiaoyu closed her eyes; hoping sleep would drown out her sorrows.

But baby, I'm different,
'cause you make me feel so brand new.

On the other side of the door, still inside of his room, Hwoarang sat down on the chair in front of the television. He felt so empty. His head was spinning, thoughts of her and thoughts of him.

What were these feelings? He wanted to be with her; not just to have her again but he wanted to love her. 'So,' he thought. 'Is this what love is?'

When he was with her he was willing to give up everything; his unstable lifestyle, his nature to party, and his dangerous desires. With her, he could have a new start; could be a new man. He could be her man.

I don't need to know whom you've been with,
'cause I know I'll love you better than him.

There was a gentle knock on her door. She ignored it. "Xiaoyu, please!" the voice started. "I know you're in there!"

'Jin,' she thought. Her heart skipped in her chest. Walking to the door, she opened it slowly, hoping that she looked ok.

He was holding a bouquet of fresh flowers, undoubtedly from the garden outside of the mansion. He wasn't smiling, he wasn't frowning. His expression was blank and emotionless.

She knew that she, herself, wasn't returning much of an expression either. It was hard to accept; him with another woman. But she knew it would break his heart if he knew that she had been with Hwoarang the night before.

'Hwoarang,' she thought. She was so confused. Xiaoyu didn't know what she wanted. Jin would offer her stability; Hwoarang would love her, maybe.

"I know about last night," he started. "I came to tell you that I'm sorry about-what I did. And I know that you were with Hwoarang. But it's ok."

She blushed. She couldn't even look into his eyes. She was so ashamed.

"It's ok, baby," he said. "I know you don't have any feelings for him. I understand that you just wanted to get even. And I forgive you."

"I didn't say I was sorry," she replied, coolly. She looked back into his eyes. He was confused and maybe a little hurt.

"C'mon," he began. He held the flowers out to her. "What do you want with him, anyway? He couldn't love you like I can. There's no saying that he could even put a roof over your head. I'll take care of you!"

I'd armor your heart if you'd just let me in.

She started to close the door, pushing the flowers back towards him. But he put his foot in front of it. He opened the door and hugged Xiaoyu tightly.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "Please, give me another chance."

Xiaoyu didn't say anything. The flowers he had brought were lying on the ground. She looked at them; lilies, her favorite.

"I know it's hard to trust me again," he began. "But I made a mistake. You're the one that I love."

Xiaoyu hugged him back. Her head was still swimming with memories of last night. Again, she thought of Hwoarang.

'Cause I know only one way,
and that's to give all I am away.

Hwoarang was still confused. Xiaoyu hadn't really made a decision, though it wasn't like he had asked her to. The feelings that he was having for her were different from those that he had felt in the past.

Not only did he want to clear things up between himself and Xiaoyu by eliminating some of the confusion that was left between them; he wanted to see her again. Pausing in thought, Hwoarang thought about his lifestyle. 'Is this what I really want?' he thought. 'Do I want to settle down?'

He thought of his childhood. He'd never really had anything; not a home, or a family, or even friends. And here he was, with the opportunity to make something for himself. He could have Xiaoyu; she could be his family and his home.

Before he knew it; his mind was already made up. 'Yes,' he thought. 'I do want this.' And, without hesitation, he walked down the hallway towards her room.

So hold out your hands to me,
and I'll show you how good this could be.

"So, will you give me another chance?" Jin asked once he had finished explaining himself.

'Making excuses,' Xiaoyu thought. 'Claiming to have had too much to drink last night; that's funny, he didn't drink anything at all.'

Filling the silence, Jin said, "I promise this won't happen again."

Xiaoyu looked at him. There were tears in her eyes when she answered, "It shouldn't have happened in the first place, not on either of our parts. I just need some time to think about-"

Before she could finish, Jin's lips were pressed against hers and he was pulling her close to him. He moved to sit next to her on the couch. Xiaoyu's mind was racing. 'Do I want this?' she asked herself.

Her tears had stopped but she was afraid. She really didn't want this. She didn't want security or a provider, she didn't want to be taken advantage of or used anymore, she didn't want Jin or his lies. 'Hwoarang,' she thought.

Xiaoyu couldn't react in time; already her body was under Jin's on the small couch in her room. He was kissing up and down her neck, holding her arms against the silk pillows on the couch. She was franticly pushing towards him, trying to get him off of her.

"Get off," she said, desperately trying to retrieve her hands from his grasp. "Stop it! Jin? Stop now!"

Everything was happening so fast. Jin was touching every part of her body. Tears were running down Xiaoyu's face. 'I don't want this,' she thought over and over again.

Jin pulled her shirt over her head and took off her bra. He began working on her pants, pulling them down and tossing the panties on top of the bra.

Xiaoyu was still crying. She was ashamed of herself. 'Why is he doing this,' she thought. 'What can't I stop him?'

Jin's eyes were terrifying. They looked at Xiaoyu with a mixture of desire and passion. "What's wrong?" he asked. "This won't hurt."

Within seconds, Jin's clothing was on the floor next to Xiaoyu's. Terrified, Xiaoyu flinched as they became one. She could feel the pressure of him; her struggling subdued as waves of pleasure passed over her. She saw Hwoarang.

'No,' she thought. 'No, I won't let this happen!'

He was strong, but in that instant she was stronger. Pulling her body away from his and pushing him on the floor, Xiaoyu had won. "Get off of me!" she screamed, crying tears of joy.

"You're crazy!" he exclaimed, pulling his clothes back on. "Choosing him over me. You'll regret it and when you do, don't come crawling back to me!"

"You've hurt me enough, Jin Kazama!" Xiaoyu screamed as she pulled a blanket from the couch over her naked body. She could feel bruises starting to form on her inner thighs and near her forearms. "Now, go!"

Jin was already out the door when she crumbled. Her body fell to the floor and more tears staining her cheeks as she buried her face in her hands. She held the blanket around her body tightly with her elbows; afraid to let the world see what he had done to her.

I won't let go until you say so.
There's nowhere else in the world I'd rather be.

Hwoarang saw Jin leaving Xiaoyu's room. He could tell that Jin was angry by the way his shoulders were hunched and his jaw was clenched. He stopped walking when he heard crying coming from inside.

Jin glared at Hwoarang as he passed him in the hallway. Jin stopped in front of him; hatred filled his eyes. He opened his mouth as though he were going to say something, but stopped himself.

Hwoarang said nothing but stared back and Jin with the same expression of hatred in his eyes. Jin clenched his fists and closed his eyes. Finally, he said, "She would have been better off with me."

Saying nothing, Hwoarang watched him walk away. Once he was out of sight, Hwoarang moved, again, towards Xiaoyu's door. He knocked softly.

"I told you to go away, Jin!" Xiaoyu shouted.

"No, no!" Hwoarang said through the door. "It's me."

There was a long silence and Hwoarang was about to walk away when the door opened and Xiaoyu, wrapped in a blanket opened the door. She didn't look into his eyes but he could tell she was still crying.

Pulling her into a hug he sighed, "Shh, its ok. I'm here."

When she wrapped her shaky arms around him, he remembered how good it felt to be with her. He could feel the staggered rising and falling of her chest against his own. 'Yeah,' he thought. 'This is what I want.'

'Cause I know only one way,
and that's to give all I am away.

It took a while to calm her down enough for him to tell her his true feelings. Three months of time before he finally worked up the courage to tell her how he really felt. Hwoarang knew that Jin had hurt her and he had tried to be the one to heal Xiaoyu.

They were sitting on the bus in silence, listening to the rain outside. Hwoarang and Xiaoyu were riding to the airport. She was on her way home; he was still deciding where to go. He knew this was the time to tell her everything.

"Xiaoyu?" he asked, trying to get her attention. "There's something you should know."

She turned to him, smiling. Thoughts were racing through her mind. They were a mix of excitement and question. "Yes?" she pressed.

"Well," he started. "Remember when I told you that you deserved someone better than Kazama?"

"Yeah," she cupped his hands in hers and rested them in her lap.

"I mean, not that I'm any better than he is," Hwoarang paused, frowning. "I don't have a nice house, or fancy cars, or much money. But I do love you."

Xiaoyu blushed. She opened her mouth to speak, but Hwoarang interrupted.

"I'm all that I have to give you," he said. "But maybe you'd consider giving me a chance?"

Xiaoyu hugged him. Finally she whispered, "Of course, though I'm pretty sure my mind is already made up that you're the one for me."

When the bus reached the airport, neither of them moved for a few seconds. Hwoarang reached for her bags to help her carry them. She put her hand on top of his and smiled.

"What are you doing?" she asked, laughing. "I'm not going home, yet!"

Hwoarang sat down next to her. "And where are you going?"

"With you," she whispered.

So hold out your hands to me,
and I'll show you how good this could be.

It was still raining the next morning when they woke up; their bodies covered in a crisp white sheet. Xiaoyu stirred in her sleep, curling her arms around Hwoarang's waist. Her soft hair spilled elegantly around her face; framing it.

Hwoarang smiled, watching her dream. 'Maybe she's thinking about me,' he thought. 'Maybe about us.'

Xiaoyu shivered slightly, to which Hwoarang responded by cuddling closer to her. He could feel the delicate curves of her thin frame against his own slim figure. He held her, keeping her warm, in his strong arms.

'It was better the second time,' he thought to himself. 'It's never felt so good before.' He smiled when Xiaoyu sleepily opened her eyes.

"Morning, baby," she whispered.