Note: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters or any of the plot that comes from J. K. Rowling's books.

Severus sat down in his office trying to make the least amount of noise possible. He was hiding from Bellatrix who, as usual, was trying to force him to believe some crazy story or another.
Well, he doubted that there was a baby. This was a plea from her to force him to take her back…probably. He certainly hoped so. Quite apart from the fact that she'd be a terrible mother, convincing himself that the supposed baby truly was a product of Bella's crazy imagination made him feel less guilty. And even if it was true, he sure as hell wasn't going to waste his time taking care of the damn infant…
"Sev?" a voice called.
Shit, he thought. She found me.
With a sigh, he answered. "It's not mine, Bella…" In an undertone that she nonetheless heard, he added, "If it even exists…"
"It does exist," she insisted, "and if it's not yours, whose is it?"
"Probably your fool of a husband's. Remember him?"
"Of course I do. I love my husband." Bella flicked her shiny, dark hair out of her face as she slowly blinked her plum-colored eyelids.
"Then why are you wasting your time sleeping with me?" Severus asked under his breath. It wasn't that he hadn't enjoyed it, but he was more of the one-night-stand type of man.
Bellatrix Lestrange pouted, her cosmetic-smeared lips looking very appealing to Severus even when he was as frustrated with her as he was. "Well, when it's born, we'll see whose it is," she was saying.
"You know, you'll be a worse mother than mine was, Bellatrix," Severus murmured.
"Will not," she said defiantly.
"Yes, yes," he muttered. "While poor little Rudolphus Jr. is crying for his mummy, you'll be off sleeping with some other married man…"
"Well, what are you going to do about it?" She retorted.
Severus considered it, at the same time noting with satisfaction that she had made no attempt to deny his prediction. "Hmm… I can give you a potion that will kill it before it's born," he suggested with just a hint of wickedness behind his deadly calm voice.
Bella's eyes snapped open. She leapt off of the desk where she had been sitting and she hit him hard across the face with one long-finger nailed hand. "You jerk! I'm never letting you near my baby!" she shrieked before flouncing out of the room, her stiletto heels clattering across the stone floor.
"Ahh…" Severus sighed, leaning back in his chair. "Mission accomplished…"