Kid vs. Mop

AN: This idea randomly hit me as a picture, actually. But I can't draw to save my life, and I realized it would probably need a fic to go with it. I refuse to spoil anymore! My next thought was the fact that Candyland is really into Detective Conan/Magic Kaito (which I don't own), so I thought maybe I could do it for her birthday. But that'sin five monthsand I wanted to get it done and up, darn it! I wanted to post it onMay 30th, actually, but the site decided it would be a good day to not let us log on, which I'm sure she didn't like either since I think she wanted to post cause it was her anniversary. Happy (belated) third anniversary, Candy-chan!

It was such a beautiful night for a robbery. The stars were shining, the air wasn't too cool, and the streets were full of people. Well, more specifically, the Kaitou Kid Taskforce, but who was counting?

It always amused Kaito to see Nakamori and the others figure out his messages, only to still have them come up short in the end. In fact, he had most recently snatched his target, a previously stolen diamond, and was flying out the window inches ahead of the officers' arms.

Yep. Being a Phantom Thief was good.

He glided toward a nearby office building. One of the windows on the eighth floor had very conveniently been left open, and this was where he would make his escape. Of course he knew the officers were expecting that. After all, the Kid could change his appearance in the blink of an eye and no one would notice the difference.

Yep. It was definitely good.

He landed inside the building, the glider vanishing and his cape once again flowing around his back. Just a few more moments and the job would be over. He just needed to run down the hallway...


It was at that moment that something hit Kaito. Literally. And it was very wet. And moppy.

"All right, Kaitou Kid," an all too familiar voice scolded, "you may be able to get away from my father, but you're not escaping me!"

Oh no. It wasn't.

Was it?

As the offensive janitorial device was lowered, his worst fears were realized. There stood Nakamori Aoko, wielding her weapon of choice. And he wasn't even being his usual Kuroba Kaito self!

He quickly threw his hands to his face to make sure that his hat and monocle weren't askew. Not only was he fairly certain she would recognize him if just one hair was out of place, but he just had to look good as the Phantom Thief. Not that it was hard for him anyway, he noted.

He took the extra precaution of tipping his hat lower than usual. Aoko was usually pretty good at catching on to things, and the last thing he needed right now was for her to find out that her most hated enemy was her dearest friend.

"Well, my dear," Kaitou replied, grinning calmly while he tried to change his voice just enough so she wouldn't notice, "I'm afraid I don't have time for that now. Maybe we could set up a date for another time?"

Aoko blinked in surprise, a slight pink beginning to show on her cheeks. "Shut up, you jerk!" she finally screamed, raising her weapon for another strike.

Kaitou's eyes widened in surprise and he quickly leapt to the side. Her mop slammed against the hard floor. "She's even scarier when she doesn't know it's me," he thought, watching her start to lift it and hoping she wouldn't get a good glimpse of his face.

"What am I supposed to do? Crap, I'll be in so much trouble if she knocks off my hat with that thing. Okay, Kaito. Calm down. Keep the Poker Face. That's the number one thing right now. Don't let her know you're flustered."

Aoko turned her hardened gaze to him, who, as far as she was concerned, still wore that Kaitou Grin™ of his. "Give up, Kid!" she yelled, readying her mop. "I won't let you get away!" She charged toward him, Kaitou jumping away and running back down the hallway.

"Shoot," he thought, dodging her wildly swinging mop and nearly tripping a few times on his cape. "If I don't get away from her fast, the police will catch up to me, too. I'm sure her father doesn't know she's here. He's set on catching me himself."

"Come on, Miss!" he exclaimed, leaping over a lower attack. "I really don't have time to mess around right now."

"Who says I'm messing around?" she replied, still trying to land a solid hit on the ever dodging Kaitou.

"I need to be careful," he suddenly said to himself. "If I react the way I normally do when she does this, I'm sure she'll figure out who I am. Great, that's not going to help me any, either. Mop dodging is almost instinct by now!"

He made a quick dash into another corridor, glancing over his shoulder to see what Aoko was doing. It took her a moment to hit the breaks before she finally charged after him, her mop held in front of her almost like a sword. "Get back here, Kaitou Kid!" she exclaimed, slowly shifting her cleaning implement and trying her hardest to get a good hit in on the Phantom Thief.

"She really wants to kill me with that thing," Kaito thought, trying to find the best place to escape from the enraged teen. "Does she subconsciously know who I am? No, I'd probably be dead by now if she did. I can see the headline now. 'Kaitou Kid Found Brutally Murdered With Mop: Police Everywhere Laugh.'"

He darted down the next hallway he saw only to find himself stuck at the end of a corridor with only one door that Aoko had passed by this point. He was trapped. Trapped like a rat. Named Kaito.

"All right,"Aoko said with a grin on her face. "This is the end, Kid. You can't get away from me now!"

"Does she really think she can take me down with that mop? Although, I think I was less scared when people were using guns against me. I have to either leap over her, which would give me away, or get the mop away from her. I can't use my card gun, either, since she'd probably recognize it. Dammit, why do I have to use the same tricks stealing jewels that I usually do against her? I really should have thought through this thing more. Not that I ever expected to be assaulted with a mop on the job, but still.

"Okay, Kaito. Breathe. Stay calm. Poker face. I can get out of this. Po-ker-face. If she knows that I'm thinking that things are going wrong, then they really will."

"Look, Miss," he said, pulling down his hat brim even further and smiling slightly, "I'm very sorry that my presence interrupted you this evening, but I'm afraid I have another appointment that I must attend to. I'm sure it won't take you much longer to clean up the mess I made on your floor. If you'd like me to call on you another time, let me know. I assume you're here nightly?"

Aoko stared at him with confusion for a moment, and suddenly something turned on and her expression became a glare. Her hands lowered to her side and shook with anger. "I'm not the janitor, you moron!" she screamed.

"Perfect," he thought, bringing back his left leg and kicking the mop out of her weakened hold on it.

She turned in shock and watched it fly down the hall. "W-why you..." she stammered, trying to see if there were any resources on hand to use against her enemy.

"Well, Miss, it's been fun," he said calmly, beginning to walk around her.

"Oh, no you don't!" Aoko screamed, grabbing the door and thrusting it opened. Fortunately for her, it opened to the outside and blocked the path he had started taking, making him stop in his tracks before he walked into it.

Cold air began flowing from the room as Aoko reached in and grabbed the first thing she could get her hands on. She held it in front of her, much like she had held her previous weapon, although at the moment she still wasn't sure of what it was she had. "I'm still not letting you get away!" she stated, glancing down at her new weapon.

"Now why on Earth was that in there?" she thought.

"What did I do?" Kaito's mind raced. "Did I offend a greater power in any way? Why, oh why must this be happening to me!"

These were the thoughts that hit him in that first second when he realized that the door was to the freezer and Aoko was now thrusting a fish in his face.

"P-p-p-poker face," he started telling himself in the very long second second. "I cannot react to this. I can't. If I so much as squeal, I'm dead. I just need to take a deep breath, stare at the brim of my hat, and edge my way around her. Oh, where's the mop when you need it?"

"W-w-well, Ma'am, you s-seen very r-resourceful, b-but I'm afraid I r-r-really have to go now," he stammered, hoping she wouldn't notice how much he was sweating.

"I'm not letting you leave!" she cried, thrusting the fish toward him. "My father is finally going to get the respect he deserves!"

The aquatic creature managed to get into his line of vision, and he was positive he let a tiny squeak escape. "Heh, I t-think that b-bumbling detective all ready g-gets what he deserves," he tried his best to retort, although his voice had strangely risen about two octaves.

"I need to get the mop in her hands again!" he thought, wondering if he should just risk a jump and get away from the evil monster known as fish. "Wow, ten seconds ago I was thinking the opposite. Somebody up there must not like me very much today."

Aoko kept swinging the fish at him, not seeming to realize the strange reaction her opponent was giving her. He seemed to know where she was trying to hit, although she didn't know how he could even see anything with his hat pulled down that low.

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. Kaitou leapt into the air and managed to land on the other side of a very surprised Nakamori Aoko, who turned just in time to see him running back toward the main hallway and grinning like an idiot.

"Well, I'll be going now!" he said, somehow managing to make the mop stand up perpendicular to the ground as he ran away, almost as if he was inviting Aoko to grab it.

She happily accepted the invitation and tossed the fish back into the freezer, much to Kaito's relief. She once again held the mop as though it was a highly effective weapon (and in her hands, it was) and ran after the Phantom Thief.

He made his way back toward where he had first run into her, trying desperately to finish off the heist in the same way he had originally intended. In fact, he had pretty much meant to hang out in the building for a while before flying out again, leaving the Taskforce forever wondering who he had disguised himself as. They were predictable like that.

As he neared the still open window, he turned back to give one last grin to Aoko, but suddenly realized that she was no longer behind him. "That's odd," he thought. "Where could she have gone?"

Suddenly, a voice came from the other side. "It's a good thing I figured out the layout of this floor before you showed up, Kaitou Kid," Aoko stated, her mop resting on her shoulder, but obviously still wanting to bruise a certain magician.

He turned around in surprise and she started attacking again. It was also at this point that he heard the nearby elevators beginning to hum as the police started their assent to where he was.

"I have to leave now!" he thought, nervously glancing at the elevators before leaping away from the latest assault by Aoko. "But what can I do to stall her long enough to let me leave?"

It was at this moment that an idea hit him. He was a little squeamish about it, though. After all, this was Aoko. However, this was all he could think of at the moment and a moment was all he had.

As she swung her mop down he leapt over it and managed to get a hold of her shoulder. She blinked in surprise, although her frown was still very clear. He pulled his hat down just a little lower and produced a rose from thin air. It was a simple trick, he told himself, so she probably wouldn't be too suspicious.

"Well, Miss, I'm afraid our time together has ended this evening," he said, trying his best to lay on his usual Kaitou Charm™ even though he was feeling slightly uncomfortable about it this time. She clutched the mop to her, obviously trying to figure out the best way to get him away from her.

"I sincerely hope we can have another meeting, although I'd prefer one with less violence. Farewell, young lady," he finished, managing to get the rose into one of her hands that was clutching the mop and giving her a small kiss on the cheek before leaping out the window.

"Why did I do that?" Kaito thought as he opened his hang glider once again, hearing the very pleasant sounds of a recently arrived Nakamori yelling at him from the window about how he was going to catch him 'next time.' "Sure, I've used that on other girls, but that just felt... weird."

Aoko's face, in the meantime, had turned a very bright shade of red. She watched Kaitou Kid fly away and her father emerge too late, too upset to notice his daughter standing with him. After a moment, she angrily threw the mop and the flower to the ground.

"That stupid Kid!" she exclaimed, frowning at the disappearing white speck. "He's even worse than Kaito!"

AN: There you go! So, figure out what the picture was? It wasn't the fish. That part came as I wrote it, hee hee. Outside of saying that, I'm sure you know. And I'm not begging you to guess or anything, either, I was just wondering. No answer is fine with me.

You know what was hard? Deciding when to use "Kaito" and "Kaitou." I mean, when saying "Kuroba Kaito" and "Kaitou Kid" I was fine, but just the one was difficult. I decided that when the nature was more Kid-like, I'd use Kaitou, and when it was more personal I'd use Kaito. Geez, it's confusing! Stupid long Os...

Anywho, hope you liked it! It's my first Magic Kaito fic! And especially you, Candyland. I mean, I didn't even tell her I was writing it (what sort of a present thingy would it be, then?), and since she's my Conan expert, it made things harder for me cause I couldn't ask for advice. Oh well!