Regretful Bondage

AN: Poooor Kurama.

Rating: PG-13

Yaoi

KURAMA"S POV

Why do the church bells seem like a requiem? Why is it that all I want to do is tear myself out of this human formal wear and run…run…run…

Away from this perfect picture. Away from my beautiful bride.

MY name is Kurama…and this lifelong lie has gone too far.

Because I am Kurama, the Spirit Fox, not Shuichi Minamino…for this is the one aspect of my life, my two souls...two hearts, cannot agree on.

Mother introduced us. At a respectable party surrounded by respectable females, I met the respectable and deadly dull Urumi Kanzukay. At twenty-three, after just six chaperoned dates I took the first step by tradition in starting a life for myself out of ningen college, and proposed.

Please don't ask the reason. I don't know. I suppose for a minute the deception captivated even me. I guess just like shearing off my childish hair, I thought I could shed all my teen experiences and longings. For blood, adventure, teamwork.

For…for love. True love. Young love.

My attendants think these tears are of happiness. An old uncle or another pats my shoulder knowingly as he leads me out in front of the altar.

" Ah, don't be nervous." He re-assures me. " I felt the same way when I married Vicki. You've got yourself a beautiful woman, m'boy."

Yes. Beautiful. Certainly.

And yet, all I think about is cocoa eyes and jet black hair…an immature strength that is now beyond my reach…

/ Kurama gaped, shocked, as Yusuke started to curse out his sparring companion.

" WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE, BAKA SHRIMP! I'M SICK OF YOU ALLWAYS HANGING AROUND!"

Garnet eyes narrowed as Hiei stared at the kitsune.

" Hn. Kurama, have you any idea what this pathetic imitation of a ningen soap opera is about?"

The red-head shrugged uneasily, suddenly very aware of the quietude plaguing the beach. Even the crashing waves…the sound of the distant fighting between teams in the ring beyond, did nothing to muffle this awkwardness, or the pounding of his heart.

" I…I don't. Why don't I meet you back at the hotel? We can finish drills later."

The fire youkai smirked and sheathed his katana/ As he turned to leave he murmured something vague.

" I hope you followed Kuwabara's example."

" What?"

" Mint is good."

With that obscure declaration he left Kurama to deal with the team leader. Yusuke's hands clenched into fists.

" Stupid freak. What the HELL is he to you, anyway?"

The Spirit Fox stepped closer, feeling the palpable tension acutely.

" He is my partner. You know that. Wh-"

" Hmph. 'partner's' frickin' too general for me."

Kurama ran his fingers through rosy hair. His patience was growing thin…as was his resolve.

" Well, that's what we are. Sorry to disconcert you."

" Is he your boyfriend or what?"

" WHAT?"

" You heard me."

"…No. Why is that your business, anyway?"

The silence was a shattering, deafening, apocalyptic one. In those moments hard brown eyes softened into twin root-beer barrels, giving the teen a boyish appearance that stirred up everything the red head had been feeling since that night on the rooftop.

" Because…" Yusuke finally choked. " Maybe Keiko ain't my girlfriend."

Their kiss seemed to flow; like a whim of an impressionist's oil painting their lips toughed passionately, igniting a fire stronger than any kokuryuha.

As their tongues collided, Kurama understood what the koorime had meant./

Yusuke Urameshi. I grew to love you as I loved my ningen mother. I gave you everything…and you returned with more.

At least until the world…worlds, got in the way. You grew, as did I. You live, as do I …with the princess and the castle in a land of demonic fairytale dreams.

And now, here I am, about to enter my own Grimm's nightmare.

Urumi's gaze is on my back as the ballad tune sounds her walk down the aisle. I can picture her before she comes into view. Pale…ebony hair…listless blue eyes…wan smile…

Inari, no!

I did not get to check the audience on my way in. Are you here, my prince? Please, be my knight one more time and save me from this selfless phony mess of a ceremony!

I paste on a smile and take her hand. My heart hums as the priest speaks.

" Dearly beloved; we are gathered heart today to join this man, and this woman, in holy matrimony. If there is anyone here who believes these two should not be wed, let him speak now, or forever hold his piece."

My ears ring with nothing again. I can't stand it.

I turn and look…

And see a horde of faceless friends, long-time nobodies, and anonymous.

Then I catch it; your anguished armor; just beside the doors that could lead to freedom…or the honeymoon everybody thinks will be the couple's first monumental expression of adoration.

We make eye contact. I see the pain in you, a tragic God; the regret as Keiko takes your arm and smiles cluelessly.

Why don't you say anything! It's easy; stand and scream the trio of words I long to hear, sweep me off my feet, and take what is rightfully yours!

When the priest continues, it is like a weight drops in my stomach. My knight must be a rusty tin man, because you don't move when on cue I say…

" I do."

" Then I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

So cold. Her lips are so cold. Rice is thrown; it feels like frigid hail. Her gentle arm is like a chain. I am going to heave.

And yet you'd never know it by my face, for I am a master of illusion. No; the only one who shows resent in this sea of jubilation…

Is you. Show but don't tell. And now I fear, you've lost me for a human forever. This car I drive now says " Just Married."

But that is incorrect. It should read " Just Died Inside."

Yes. A white-washed requiem.

END

AN: Would anyone like a razorblade? A cup to catch the blood in perhaps? Review.