I actually got this idea in the shower, and figured I'd go with it. Oh, yeah, the damn disclaimer.
Disclaimer: I don't own Sesshomaru. I own everything else. Now I'm done! So, I present to you:
The Story of a Disclaimer
A-HA! I have achieved what countless fanfiction writers before me have only dreamed of – I have acquired the copyright to Inuyasha. And more importantly – to Sesshomaru! And this where I'm at now…
Sesshomaru stood by TAL with a wary look on his face. "I do not understand why this is a good thing."
"This paper," TAL waved the paper in front of his nose,"means that I own you." She grinned evilly at the poor dog-demon.
"NO ONE owns this Sesshomaru!" Sesshomaru glared at her, hand on his sword hilt.
"Oh yeah? Well, we'll see about that…" TAL trailed off, and began to laugh maniacally.
"………" Sesshomaru uneasily eyed TAL as she danced around the room. "……Is it really that important?"
TAL paused in her dancing, and nodded happily."Oh, yes…yes indeed! Sesshomaru is all MINE! No one can take you from me now!"
Suddenly, men in cheesy black suits and shades burst into the room.
"Freeze! We have reports of a fanfiction writer owning a copyright!" Man1 shouted.
"EEP!" TAL shrieked, and hid behind Sesshomaru.
Man2 continued his partner's lines. "Hand it over, fanfiction writer! You know it's against the rules!"
"Besides, you stole it anyway! Geez, you could at least BUY the damn thing!" Man3 added.
TAL clutched the copyright to her chest and shook her head vigorously. "No way! It's MINE! MINE, I TELL YOU! Get 'em, Sesshomaru!"
"I still do not understand why this is important, but…" Sesshomaru shrugged, and lunged toward the men in cheesy black suits and shades.
Man1 grinned and held up a paper. "Hold it!"
"NOOOOO! Not…an infringement…" Upon seeing the paper, TALfell to the floor, weakened.
"AND we have a copy of the copyright!" Man2 held up another paper triumphantly. Sesshomaru stopped his attack, and the three men in cheesy black suits and shades tied him up.
"NO ONE ties up this Sesshomaru!" he growled, but the binds of the copy of the copyright held strong.
TAL cried as the men in cheesy black suits and shades dragged him out. "Don't worry, Sesshomaru! I'll get you back! I'm a fanfiction writer – I never give up!" Suddenly, she spotted chocolate. "Ooohh….what was I – oh, yeah! Sesshomaru, I'll find you again!"
"Kami forbid…" Sesshomaru muttered.
Several dedicated hours later… TAL panted as she climbed to the roof of an office building. "Whew! Finally made it! Thank gosh for airplanes! What'd crazed fanfiction writers DO in the Dark Ages? Wait…did they even HAVE fanfiction writers that early?" she thought, and then shrugged. "Oh, well, maybe it started with Shakespeare groupies…"
With the use of handy gadgets she swiped from Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory®,TAL broke into the skylight and landed in the middle of an office building. Looking around, she soon spotted a door labeled "Sesshomaru".
TAL cackled as she opens the door. "Sesshomaru!"
"Kami…not another one!" Sesshomaru gasped, looking up.
"Nope! Just me again!" TAL grinned, removing her mask.
Sesshomaru paled at the sight. "Kami..."
"C'mon, Sesshomaru! I didn't fight my way here past the ninjas and samurais and giant robots just to drag your butt back home!" TAL paused. "Oh, wait, I did…so COME ON!"
Sesshomaru sighed, and considered his options."Well, I suppose at least I do not have to be the heartless bastard in this writer's fanfiction – and I get to sleep with Kagome…"
TAL glared at him, and then smacked him. "No WAY! Only OCs for you, buddy! Unless you suck-up at this rate…"
As the pair muttered their separate curses, they climbed back to the roof – rather, Sesshomaru flew and TAL struggled, until she threatened to kill Sesshomaru in her latest Inuyasha fic unless he helped her.
Sesshomaru then began to fly them over the ocean, when a speedboat appeared beneath them.
"CRAP! Those guys in cheesy black suits and shades again!" TAL gasped.
"Stop right there, fanfiction writer! I have – what!" Man1 dropped the bullhorn, and began to frantically search his pockets. At his look of panic, Man2 and Man3 also began searching, but found nothing.
TAL grinned, and began laughing maniacally. "Looking for these?" She triumphantly held up the infringement, copyright copies, and several lawsuits against her. "I didn't forget about 'em this time!"
"………" Sesshomaru remained silent, considering that his best option.
"Damn you, fanfiction writer!" Man1 cried.
Man2 shook his fist at them. "We, the men in cheesy black suits and shades, will hunt you down to the ends of the earth to get that back!"
"Yeah!…And the other stuff, too!" Man3 added.
Man1 and Man2 blinked, and looked at Man3 in disbelief. TAL continued laughing manically, after remembering to cover Sesshomaru's ears.
"Why do we have that guy, anyway?" Man1 whispered to Man2.
"Because the fanfiction writer is the one that's writing this," Man2 told him.
"WHAT! DAMN IT – Why didn't you tell me! This means we're screwed no matter what we do!" Man1 shouted.
Man2 blinked again, and then scratched his head. "Well, yeah…"
Man1 began muttering, until something audible came out."Bitch…"
"I heard that! DIE, EVIL MEN IN CHEESY BLACK SUITS AND SHADES!" the FANFICTION WRITER, a.k.a. TAL, shouted.
Man1, Man2, and Man3's speedboat suddenly overturned, and they begin to try to float and avoid the sudden swarm of Great White Sharks. Sesshomaru observed the scene in silence,and shook his head, and TAL finally calmed down.
TAL wiped her eyes, and sighed."Ahh…that was great! Let's go home, Sesshomaru! I've already got another idea in my head for you!"
Sesshomaru eyed her warily. "I hope it's not one of those ones where I go to your time…I've had enough of those…"
TAL just smiled brightly at him, making him more nervous.
"I don't like that look…"
"Well, that's my story – for now! But you never know…those guys in cheesy black suits and shades could always return for a crappy sequel…right, Sesshomaru?" TAL asked, turning away from the screen -- or paper.
Sesshomaru sighed. "I suppose. Anything's possible with you."
TAL giggled happily, then continued. "Thanks! Well, I'm gonna go ty – ack!"
The three men in cheesy black suits and shades burst into the room.
"NOT AGAIN! I EARNED THIS, DAMNIT!" TAL shouted.
Well, what do you guys think? It's my first parody -- but if you want, I'll try to continue the story. Maybe I'll name it: The Adventures of the Thieving Disclaimer-Stealing Fanfiction Writer! Well, R&R -- oh, BTW -- TAL is me, TeenAnimeLover. For those of you who didn't get it...
Whew! Just rewrote it, so it was according to the new rules. And I have nothing against fics where Sesshomaru sleeps with Kagome, or goes into our time -- SesshomaruXKagome is one of my fav match-ups, and I love those fics! I just had to add something, so no offense meant.