Hi! I was bored so I decided to write some random stories!

Disclaimer: I own Zatch Bell!...Okay, not really……….

It was Christmas Eve, and since Zatch being a momodo, had never celebrated Christmas, Kyo and Kyo's mom decided to take him to Wal-Mart to see Santa Claus.

"Oh, boy Kyo! What's Santa Claus like?"

"He's a big fat bastard who claims to give presents to every kid on the planet," he grumbled.

"Wow! What a nice bastard!" said Zatch.

"Yup………oh, and when you see him, put up your middle finger like this." Kyo demonstrated how to flick people off.

"Oh, okay!"

They walked over to where "Santa" was supposed to be, except there was a line 5 miles long.

"Wow Kyo! Are lines normally this long?"

"Yup……." Replied Kyo remembering the past incidents……..

Flashback………………

Young Kyo ran up to the line that was 5 miles long to go see Santa like he did every year. He stood in line and waited………and waited…………and waited…………and waited.

2 years later…………

"Is it my turn?"

"Nope," the psychiatrist replied.

End of flashback…………………

Kyo's eyes turned blood red as he looked at the man in the Santa suit. Hatred filled his very being.

"Oh, and Zatch……" Kyo said.

"Yes what is it Kyo?"

"Why don't you give him this gift I made for him?"

Kyo handed Zatch a pretty watch with a red wire and a blue wire sticking out of the side.

Zatch stared at it. "What is this Kyo?" he asked uneasily.

"Candy."

"Oh boy!" Zatch ran off to get in line and Kyo walked behind him with an evil smile.

5 hours later……………

Kyo looked at his watch. "Hmm, weird," he thought aloud. "Last time it took me 2 years!"

"No, honey," his mom replied. "You were in the line for 5 hours last time too."

"Oh…….then how'd the end of the flashback work out?"

"Right before you got to Santa you had a hernia."

"Ooooooh, okay. That fast?"

"Oh, yeah!" his mom replied.

Zatch walked up to Santa and hopped up on his lap. "Hi! Wow! You're not fat!"

"Why thank you, little boy, hohoho!"

"You're ENORMOUS!"

"SERIOUSLY! That bitch at the health food store lied to me then!" Santa screamed raising his fist.

All the mothers covered their children's ears.

"Um, Santa?" Zatch asked, "Why aren't you being a nice bastard?"

"I'm pissed off kid!" Santa crossed his arms.

"Oh………..well will you at least ask me what I want!"

"No! Because I fucking don't care!"

"Then I'll tell you! I want some porn magazines of Paris Hilton!"

"WHAT?" Santa screamed.

"Zatch!" Kyo's mom yelled, "Did you go through my cabinets!"

"Oh, so they were YOUR cabinets….." Zatch said. "I thought they were Kyo's!"

Kyo sweatdropped. "I don't look at porn magazines! I didn't even know my mom did!"

Santa slapped Zatch. "You JERK!"

Kyo got pissed at this point. "That's it! I'm sick of you fake Santa!"

Kyo threw the watch at Santa, and Santa blew up. (A/N: Hehehe….)

"Well, there goes all my childhood hatred down the drain!" said Kyo happily.

"Kyo!" Kyo's mom motioned. "Look at this!"

Kyo's mom tore off the fake beard to reveal the severed head of…………Paris Hilton!

"Woah….I could've hit on Paris!...Oh, well! Susie is my only true love!"

Just then, the guy with red hair on the skateboard (A/N: I don't know his name, sorry) zoomed by with Susie on his skateboard. "See ya Kyo!"

"Bye Kyo!" Susie waved.

"WHA? GET BACK HERE WITH MY WOMAN!"

With that, Kyo vanished as chased the skateboard guy and Susie out of sight. Kyo's mom and Zatch just stood there for a minute until Kyo's mom said: "Hey, Zatch. Wanna go look at some more Paris Hilton porn?"

"Yeah!"

So Kyo's mom and Zatch skipped away.

Heh……….so did ya like it? More chapters coming up! Review!

Next time:

Sherry has problems with Yentas