Helium

A/N: I do not own One Piece. Though, I'd like to work for 4kids.

It was a perfect sailing day, but no matter the weather, there really wasn't anything to do. Especially not for a ship captain who couldn't swim. Luffy sighed. He was so bored. Normally, he'd be doing something fun, but all his of his crew were swimming. He loved being a rubber man, but he certainly would enjoy being able to swim. Just once.

He stepped away from the railing. He was a pirate! He wasn't going to let a little boredom get in his way! No siree bob! He put his fists on his hips indignantly, making his decision. He was going to have the time of his life while the crew swam.

Luffy walked around the ship, trying to find something to do. He stepped into the girls' dorm. He'd only been there once when Nami wasn't around. What was she hiding anyways? It's not like he'd steal from her. He was captain; he could do whatever he wanted! He walked around, sticking his nose wherever it could go. He suddenly found a small bag. He opened it as he took a seat on her couch. The first thing he found was a white tube thing. He cocked his head. What did this do? Only one way to find out. He threw it at the wall, and it bounced onto the ground. It certainly wasn't bouncy. He then looked around the room, wondering what else he could test it with. He saw a barrel full of ice, some of which had melted, and bottles of water. He picked up the white tube thing and placed it in the barrel. It began to inflate. Amazed, Luffy searched the bag and found another. He placed it in as well. It expanded. Amazing, he thought. If it expanded with water enough, it would probably explode! Awesome! He began staring at the white tube things, after placing the rest in the barrel. Almost instantly, he became bored. This was taking too long. Nami must still be improving her water-expanding dynamite, he concluded.

Luffy stepped out of the girls' dorm. There must be something he could do. He walked to the galley, expecting Sanji had something interesting hidden there. He looked around the room. It looked like any ordinary kitchen to him. But that was what Sanji wanted him to think! Luffy looked around. He spotted the stove first. He turned a switch and a large fire came up from under the metal and then died. He cocked his head. Curious, he put his hand on the metal. He stared for a while, and then, all of a sudden, he screamed, running around the kitchen. It hurt! He wasn't going to stick around here anymore, no way! It was booby-trapped, and not even the captain could penetrate Sanji's traps.

Luffy ran out of the galley, his hand still hurt. He decided to check up on Nami's water-expanding dynamite and place his hand in that cool ice. He ran back into the dorm and dunked his hand in the barrel. "Ahhhhh…" he sighed soothingly. When his hand felt better he took a look at the white tube things. Nothing much had happened. He made a disappointed face.

He looked around the dorm but then walked out. Everyone else was still swimming. He wondered how they could do this for so long without even growing bored. He sighed enviously. He was so…BORED!

Luffy walked to the guys' dorm. There must be something there to do. The room was messy and party stuff lay everywhere in the room. He remembered having a party here last night for no apparent reason. That was a lot of fun. He turned on the music and began to dance, but he learned it wasn't much fun without Sanji and Roronoa doubling over in laughter and Usopp dancing with him with a lampshade on his head. He turned off the music and looked around. Balloons were everywhere. He kicked one up in the air and it took a while to float down. He cocked his head, remembering that last night they were floating in the room, touching the ceiling. He took a balloon and untied it. It made a squealing noise as it flew around the room. Luffy's eyes grew big with excitement. What would happen if he sucked in that air? Curious, Luffy picked up another balloon and untied it; then he pressed it shut and put it to his mouth. When he let go, he sucked in the air. It tasted funny, and his throat felt kinda floaty. "Weird," he said with an extremely squeaky voice. "Who-ho-ho-hoa! This is awesome!" he exclaimed. He sucked in the air of all the balloons and began rambling off a lot of stuff really fast. "Do you like hot dogs? I like hot dogs? Hot dogs are good and juicy! Yum! Bananas! Food is good! I like food a lot! I just saved a bunch of money on my ship insurance by switching to Syrpent! Weee! This is fun! This is better than grog! I like pickles! One, two, DJANGO! Michael Jackson! Ah! Scary! This is Larry, Larry says hi, Lar—aww…" His voice began to return to normal, and he frowned. "I didn't even get to finish my poem…" His voice was normal again.

Luffy looked around the room; he'd seen Sanji, Roronoa, and Usopp fill the balloons with some red tank. He spotted the helium tank and grew overjoyed with uncanny bliss. He immediately pressed his mouth to the tank's nozzle piece and turned the knob. He sucked in the air, but unlike he'd expected, his rubber body expanded like a balloon. He kept inflating, and there was no way to stop. Luffy would have grown slightly panicked if he weren't so excited.

Suddenly, Roronoa opened the door with Sanji and Usopp behind him. Luffy looked at them through the corner of his eyes, waving his round arms in the air, his mouth still on the nozzle piece. "LUFFY YOU IDIOT!" Roronoa screamed.

Usopp ran to turn off the tank, but Luffy's large exterior had expanded to cover the majority of the room. Sanji and Roronoa began pushing Luffy just so Usopp could make his way to the tank. He turned it off, but Luffy didn't let go of the nozzle piece. Sanji and Roronoa were blown out of the room as Luffy's body took the shape of the room once more, squishing Usopp into the wall. "At this size, even if we tie him down just so he can let go of all the air, he'll at least pull the ship to who-knows-where!" Usopp exclaimed.

"Leave it to him to cause this much trouble," Roronoa said with a sigh.

"What if we just tie him up until the helium wears off?" Sanji suggested calmly.

"It's worth a shot," Roronoa replied.

"But what about breathing?" Usopp asked.

"It's his own fault," Roronoa and Sanji said together.

So they tied Luffy up, instructing him not to breathe. As long as no one asked how he was able to breathe, Luffy was in perfectly good condition. Even though he was starving.

Meanwhile, Nami wiped herself with a towel as she entered the girls' dorm. As she opened her eyes, she spotted her purse lying open on the couch. Then she took a look at her water barrel. Her face went steaming red, and she screamed at the top of her lungs, "LUFFY!"

So what do you think? It's my very first OP humor, and I'm not the "humorous" type. I'd like to thank my pal Lean for giving me the inspiration of Luffy sucking helium. Also, perhaps you noticed that I didn't call Roronoa, Zolo. Well, be happy I didn't. I always call him Roronoa, but when narrating my real fics I call him Zolo. So be happy with that much!