Long ago there was an ancient kingdom called Hyrule... It was full of happy retards who were, for a while, seemingly unaware of the possible doom that was to soon be upon them. This possible doom took the form of a freak with green skin, orange hair, and black shiny armor. His name was Ganondorf. Most likely being from a dysfunctional family, Ganondorf had issues. Due to his insanity, he decided to rule Hyrule using one of the three goddess triangles, called the Triforce of Power. But then there was a young boy wearing a green dress, and in his possession was the blade used to vanquish evil, The Master Sword, and also with him was the Triforce of Courage. He defeated and sealed the freak away, hopefully for all time... Then he rode off on a pony. The people rejoiced, and lived peacefully for a while, until the day came when a foul smelling wind blew across the land... It smelled like cough drops. This meant one thing: Ganondorf had returned, and was ready to kill them all! The people thought their green-dressed hero would return... He never did. When their doom was about to be sealed, the people prayed to the three goddesses, Din, Nayru, and Farore, hoping that they would save them... What happened after that? Who the hell knows.

Although the kingdom disappeared, it was always remembered. In honor of the hero in the green dress, it became customary on a certain island to garb boys in green dresses when they turned the age of the hero. The old folks just wanted to convert the youth to homosexuality...