Amelda had come to the conclusion that his master was very drunk when he hired Varon because the red-haired boy could honestly not understand what Dartz could have SEEN in him when sober. Or perhaps, it was the completely other way around. Varon could have forced the Atlantean to have him join the organization, for surely nobody in the right mind would have hired a dipstick like him, right?
"Are we finished yet?" Amelda asked irately.
Varon merely glared back at the older boy, but said nothing. "And now, I, Varon the magician shall attempt—"
"—yeah, says me—"
"—don't make me shoot you—"
"—I'll get a bullet-proof vest—"
"—what? No tank top?—"
"—oh, oh, you want the tank top?—"
"—yeah, so I can mock it—"
"—I didn't know you were attracted to my clothing—"
"—I'm not attracted to your clothing—"
"—don't worry, I'll go and tell Mai you're gay—"
"—TO FREE MYSELF and this lovely volunteer from these handcuffs," Varon finally proclaimed in a loud voice, emphasizing the extra adjective with a heavy amount of sarcasm. Amelda snorted and would have crossed his arms had it not been for the fact he was handcuffed to said boy in question. This was going to be good.
"Alakazam!" he watched the brunette cry pompously. "Handcuffs…open!"
Varon tapped the handcuffs with his wand.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Ignoring the obvious roll of eyes from his comrade, Varon the magician nervously bit his lip and tried again. "Alakazam! Handcuffs…open!"
Tap. Tap. Tap.
The handcuffs still remained in place.
"Did you read the instructions that came with the package?"
"Shut up." After a moment's silence, Varon waved his wand once again and tapped the handcuffs. "Alohomora!"
He resisted the urge to smack the younger boy on the head. "This isn't Harry Potter, you nitwit."
"Yes, yes, I know…" Varon shot back. He gave Amelda the hardest glare he could muster up. "But I had to try something—" his voice lowered a tone "—lest you go all bitchy menstrual on me again."
The redhead purposely knew Varon was just aggravating him on purpose and overlooked the bait. "Not a girl. Don't care."
A sly grin spread on his face. "Isn't that truth?"
"Stop provoking me."
"I ain't provoking you, mate."
"You're provoking me right now."
"Don't get all PMS-ing on me."
Amelda's eye began twitching. "Tell you what. Once you get these things of my hands, I personally TAKE OFF MY PANTS and SHOW YOU—"
"—your lovely three-inched secret?" Varon yanked his right hand harshly and dragged the attached gray-eyed boy to the floor. "No thank you," he laughed. "There's nothing you have that I haven't seen with my own two eyes."
A shadow passed over Amelda's features and he swung his leg to trip the brunette. Varon fell to the ground with an 'oomph.' "For the last time, I am NOT a girl," the redhead stated irritably. "Insults like that don't work on me."
Varon brushed himself off. "What, oh really? Sorry, but I was too busy gawking at your—"
"—yes, yes, my shirt, my shirt," Amelda sighed and rolled his eyes for what had to be the umpteenth time that hour. He rose up from the ground, lugging the unleveled brunette along with him. "Now if you would just get these HANDCUFFS off us—" he held up the dangling pieces of metal on his wrist and glared lividly at the younger boy who merely stuck out his tongue.
"What do you think I've been trying to DO all this time?"
Amelda actually considered this for a moment. "Prove that I was actually born in a masculine test tube," he said in a reasonable voice after a moment.
He frowned. "I ain't no Science whiz."
He quirked a brow before clapping his hands in an obviously sarcastic manner. "Double negatives, Varon, good job. It appears you—" he held up his fingers and air-quoted "—ain't no English whiz either."
"…did I mention that I hated you?"
"All of last week, after you used Mai as your quadratic math doll bait," he replied dryly and looked warningly at Varon when he opened his mouth. "Just try another damn command."
He sulked for a moment. "Open Sesame!"
"Scrub a dub dub, three men in a tub!"
Amelda slapped his hand across his face.
"Oh-ho-ho and a bottle of rum…"
This was getting ridiculous.
"Give…me…that…" he snatched the black and white wand out of the brunette's hands and looked back at their predicament. Handcuffs. He stared at it intensely, swimming back into his mental rolodex in an attempt to relocate those certain magic words that magicians used on occasions like these.
He took a deep breath and tapped the metal braces with the wand. Tap. Tap. Tap. "Abracadabra!"
Click. The two Doma warriors watched, one smugly, the other with a rather jerky expression on his face, as the handcuffs that plagued their wrists for so long finally unlocked and slipped off. It landed on the floor with a metallic clatter.
There was a moment of silence as both boys stared down at the handcuffs on the floor in disbelief. Varon finally shook his head. "Pure luck, I tell you. That's what you have. Must have pressed a secret switch or something…"
Amelda crossed his now-free arms elatedly. "Or maybe it's just the brain you're lacking."
"Ha-ha, you're killing me," Varon mumbled darkly. The blue-eyed boy reached down and picked up the metal chains from the ground. He stared at them for a moment, his face unreadable. Then without warning, he grabbed Amelda's wrist and—
"—w-what are you DOING?"
Two words entered his mind: Holy Shit.
"I don't see how it could work for you without working for me…" Varon explained cockily and graced the redhead's fears with a crazed grin. With his left hand, he took the disregarded magician's wand from the table. "So let's try it again, shall we?"
This wasn't going to work. Amelda's 6th sense told him so. He watched in muted apprehension as the brunette eagerly waved the plastic wand over the handcuffs.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Still nothing. Completely furious at the cheap piece of plastic he bought for $5.99 at Wal-mart, Varon lost all patience and began shouting every single command that came to mind.
"Open up! Unlock! Release! Disengage!"
Tap. Tap. Tap. SNAP—
Varon turned to face the redhead whose left eyebrow had been twitching to the point of falling off. Suddenly, a nervous grin spread across his face. "…tell you what, mate, how about I treat you to a burger…"
"Aussie, you better run the hell away because when I get my hands on that magical stick of yours…"
A minute later, Varon was heard to be running down the hallways, screaming hysterically at the top of his lungs. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact he wanted to return his magic set and that a broken wand would devalue the price. Or perhaps it was the ridiculously sexual innuendo Amelda had incorporated into his threat.
…this WAS Yuugiou after all.