My Guardian Angel
By Queenie Z
A/N: A lot of you might have already seen this one on my Livejournal, but I'm posting it here since I thought it needed to be shared with more people. :) So yeah, more Colloyd for you all, homefries! It's short, but oh well. Enjoy!
I think that, for most people, it's hard to get to sleep during a storm. The sound of the rain and thunder is loud enough to keep anyone awake. But the nice thing is that, unless you're caught outside in it, you're still safe and warm inside your own bed.
Safe... I wish I could feel that way right now. Even though my Cruxis Crystal has a key crest on it, I still find it hard to sleep at night. But it's not the noise of the storm that keeps me up... it's this growing fear that I've had ever since the day I returned to normal, thanks to Lloyd's key crest.
I don't want to die anymore... I don't want to become a sacrifice for the world, only to cause the suffering of another... I know I shouldn't be afraid, but I am. I don't know how to explain it, because I know that Lloyd won't let me become an angel again, unless...
...That's it. What if something happened to Lloyd? He was the one who was always there for me, encouraged me, and protected me. I know this is silly, but I've always thought of him as a guardian angel - not the Cruxis kind, the real kind. But if he were gone... would I have to die again?
I notice that I've been clutching to my blankets tightly. I never really knew the reason why I was so scared, but now I'm sure of it.
...Maybe I should go see if he's okay.
I get out of my bed and open the door, quietly, so I don't wake Presea, who's sharing a room with me at the inn tonight. Then, just as quietly, I shut it and walk down the hallway, looking for room 204.
Ahh, there it is. We never lock our rooms at inns at night, in case we need to get to each other quickly, so I don't have any trouble opening the door. I peek inside the crack I just made to see Genis, curled up and sound asleep on his bed. But Lloyd isn't in his bed, so I carefully open the door a little more and step inside.
I see him on the large, cushioned windowsill, his feet and hands bare and his head facing the window. I can barely notice my heartbeat, which had gotten a lot faster since I entered the room. At least he's not hurt... so I step back outside and slowly shut the door. I stop dead in my tracks as it makes a rather loud squeaking noise, and - Oh no, he's looking at me...
"Erm... Colette?" he asks me after a moment of terribly awkward silence. "Is something wrong?"
The last thing I want is for Lloyd to be worried about me. In fact, if I told him about my fears, he'd probably just laugh at me... so I shake my head. "No, I'm fine," I whisper, so as not to wake Genis, "I was... just making sure you were okay."
Lloyd frowns. "No, something's bugging you. I can tell."
I guess it's no use trying to hide things from Lloyd now... after all, he was the first one who knew what my angel transformation was really about. I look down at the floor, trying not to make eye contact with him, and say, "I... I just couldn't get to sleep."
"You too, huh?" I look back up at him to see that he's smiling now. "Yeah, it's really noisy outside, what with the storm at all."
I shake my head again, nervously. "No, it's not that..." I can hear myself sigh a little before going on. "It's just... I'm... scared."
Now he's looking at me funny. I knew it, he's going to laugh at me...
"Scared, huh?" he says. "Um... you can come and talk to me about it."
Needless to say, I'm kind of surprised at what he just said.
"...That is, if you want to."
To be honest, I'd rather be in here with Lloyd than anything else right now. "Okay," I answer before stepping inside again and shutting the door behind me.
He motions for me to come sit down beside him on the windowsill, so I do. He grins a little, and a flash of lightning from beyond the window shows me that his face is a little red. Eventually, he asks me, "So, uh... what exactly are you afraid of, Colette?"
How to explain... Could I even explain how I feel to him in words? I swallow hard - it's no use if I don't try. "Lloyd, I... I don't want to die anymore. I don't want to be an angel."
"Is that it?" asks Lloyd, still smiling. "You dork, you know we're never going to let Cruxis get their hands on you again." Then his face becomes a little more serious as he looks at the ground. I see his bare fist tightening up into a ball as he adds softly, "I'm never going to let them have you again."
Unable to control myself, I lean over towards him and say, "But what if something happens to you? I don't feel safe when you're not around! What would happen to me then?"
I can't believe I said that! Oh, this is so embarrassing... "...I'm sorry, Lloyd, I'm just being selfish..."
Right now, Lloyd's face has gotten visibly red, even in the dark. I hope it wasn't something I said...!
"Colette... I... Ahh..."
I knew it... I was so stupid to say that. I'm shaking - he thinks I'm an idiot, I know it...
Before I know it, Lloyd's pulled me into his arms. I can hear his own heart beating just as fast as mine, and surprisingly... all my fear is gone now. In fact, I don't ever think I've felt better in my entire life!
"Don't worry, Colette..." says Lloyd, his voice cracking a little. "I... I'll be here for you. I'll protect you, I swear."
"And if anything happens to me, I'll even crawl out of my grave to get back to you!"
I look up at his face. His grip tight and his hands shaking, he has an expression that looks like a mixture of determination and nervousness. Could he... could he be scared, just like me? I want to say something, but I'm getting too choked up to speak.
Now I'm looking straight into his eyes, not saying a word. But Lloyd breaks the silence by saying softly, "I... I don't want you to leave me again. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you here!"
My vision is getting blurred by tears. I don't know what to do... so I do the only thing I can think of - I wrap my arms around his shoulders, close my eyes... and kiss him.
I hear a muffled yelp come from him at first, but then I can feel his embrace getting even tighter than before. Words can't describe the way I feel right now - if I had to say something to describe it, it would be something more safe than any blanket and more warm than any fire. When we finally stop I can speak again, as if Lloyd had just given me back my voice a second time.
"Lloyd... thank you so much. For everything."
And before I know it, our lips are meeting again! I hope this isn't just a dream... I want this to be real...
"Um... Lloyd? Colette?"
Oh no... We both let go and turn to see Genis, sitting up in his bed and staring at us. Oh, this is so humiliating!
"G - G- Genis!" Lloyd yelps, rather loudly.
"Gah! Sorry! Sorry!" It looks like Genis is embarrassed, too - now he's burying his head in his pillow, saying, "Going back to sleep now!"
We just stare at him for a few minutes, until finally we can hear his tiny snores again. Lloyd looks at me again with a nervous laugh.
"I guess I should get to sleep now," he tells me as he stands up. But... I don't want to leave. I want to stay here, with him!
"Lloyd, can I... can I stay with you tonight? Please?"
"O - of course!" he replies sheepishly as he grabs my hand and leads me to the bed. Then we both climb in and snuggle up close to each other. I can feel Lloyd brushing the back of my head with his hand as he whispers to me, "I love you, Colette..."
"I love you too, Lloyd," I murmur. I'm so happy... now I'm finally resting in the strong arms of my protector - my guardian angel.