(Sniffle) IT'S OVER... ;-; But hey! Go see The Legend of Zelda: The Sister!

Vio: Another thing you should look for is the Thanksgiving special of Four Swords Plus, which is coming out very soon. Also, the next OFFICIAL chapter of FS will be out, like...tomorrow or something.

Green: We don't get paid enough for this.

Me: You don't get paid at all, dumbass.

Red: We don't?

Me: No, what makes you think you're getting paid if you don't get any money?

Red: Then what's this? (Pulls out Monopoly money)

WW Link: I'll take that, thank you very much! (Snatches the money)

Tetra: That's fake, dumbass. Jeez...you're lucky your penis is big. If it wasn't, then I would like, totally ditch you.

Bambi: I want to see it!

Link: Shut up, Bambi. No one likes you.

Blue: I do. Want to have sex with me, Bambi?

Bambi: Are you eleven inches?

Blue: ...Yes.

Bambi: Ok. Let's fuck. (Starts fucking Blue)

Vio: Jeez...

Green: Just read the chapter.

Me: AND REVIEW IT, TOO!

Aryll: Wheee! Who wants to play horseback riding with me?


When Flames Blow Out

Link, Bambi, Komali, Aryll, and TETRA found themselves floating by the Tower of the Gods.

The pirate looked at herself.

"Hey! I'm back to being me again!" said Tetra.

"Yup, back to the bitchy pirate I fell in love with," said Link, winking at Tetra.

"Ohhh, Link, you are SOOOO naughty! Do you want to be punished?" Tetra giggled.

"Ummm...GUYS!" interuppted Komali.

"Are we all going to play horseback riding?" Aryll asked. Bambi chuckled.

"Hey! Look, guys!" said Tetra, pointing at an approaching sailboat. She beamed when she saw who was sailing it.

"Gonzo!" she said happily. "You're alive!"

Gonzo bowed his head and stopped the boat.

"Yes, Miss Tetra! The other pirates and I escaped the flames and went to Windfall. We've been staying there. And guess what? We've even bought a new ship! And..." Gonzo trailed off when he saw Bambi. With a sigh, Bambi hastily explained her story once more.

"Oh. Well, that's cool..." said Gonzo. Then he spotted Link. The big pirate grinned and winked, causing Link to shift uncomfortably.

Another boat glided next to Gonzo's and stopped. This one was driven by Niko, the one and only!

"Miss Tetra! Prince Komali! Aryll! SWABBIE! And..." He glared at Bambi.

"Aren't you supposed to be dead!" snapped the little buck-toothed pirate. Blushing angrily, Bambi told her story AGAIN.

Suddenly, Daphness, Rauru, Nabooru, Saria, Darunia, Makar, and Medli appeared.

"What are you do-nothin's still doin' with your asses in the water?" snapped Medli, huffily climbing into Niko's boat. The other sages and the king followed her.

"Well, SOR-RY!" snapped Komali, getting into Gonzo's boat. Tetra, Link, Bambi, and Aryll followed him. Then the boats started for Windfall.

"If we're going to Windfall then...well...I guess this is good-bye..." said Bambi.

"Good. Fuckin' see ya," snorted Link rudely. Tetra hit him.

"Do you really live with your uncle?" Tetra asked Bambi.

Bambi nodded.

"Do you like living with him?"

Link didn't like where this was going.

"Tetra!" he hissed.

"Shut up, Link," snapped Tetra, turning back to Bambi.

"I don't like living with him, no," Bambi admitted.

"Well, you can join the crew if you wish."

Bambi beamed. "You mean it?"

Tetra nodded.

"Oh, thanks Tetra! I won't let you down! I promise!"

"NOOOOOOOO!" Link screamed. Tetra slapped him.

"Link! If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all!" she said.

"Yes, ma'am..." Link grumbled. Pouting, he turned to look at the other ship so he could stare at Nabooru's boobs.


At last, the boats docked, and the heroes discovered a party awaiting them. Everyone on the Great Sea was there.

"What's with the party?" Link asked.

"Medli and I told everyone about the quest," Makar explained.

"Oh," replied Link with a shrug as he got out of the boat.

Gwen Stefani music was blasting from the stereos.

"Jeez, is Gwen Stefani popular on Windfall or something?" Tetra asked Bambi. Bambi nodded.

"Yeah, people on Windfall worship Gwen Stefani. We go to church services on Sunday just to pray to her. I never did, though," said Bambi.

Link, meanwhile, made a bee-line for the dessert bar and started eating all the cake. Aryll followed him.

"Big brother, why are you eating all that cake?" she asked.

Link replied through a mouthful of chocolate cake, "I'm gonna eat as much as I can and then throw it up again so I don't get any fatter."

"Isn't that anorexia?" Aryll asked.

"How do you know that word?"

"Komali taught me, big brother."

"Well, he shouldn't have! You're too young to know about eating disorders! And it's not called 'anorexia', stupid! Anorexia is when you starve yourself! This is 'bulimia'!" snapped Link.

"YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE DUMB!" Aryll cried, shoving Link to the ground, taking off his shoes, and running away.

Komali walked up to Link and helped him up.

"Link, what happened?" he asked.

"WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME!" yelled Link, punching Komali in the face.

"OW! LINK, YOU SON OF A BITCH! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU FUCKING HIT ME IN THE FUCKING FACE!"

"'CAUSE YOU'RE A BITCH, KOMALI!"

"I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!"

Link and Komali started fighting. People gathered around to watch.


Bambi and Tetra watched the fight while getting their battle wounds taken care of by healers and crap.

"Well...I was able to watch the world around me even while posessed by Vaati, and I apologize when I say this, Tetra, but...Link's an asshole," said Bambi.

Tetra nodded.

"Don't apologize. I know he is."

"How did you manage to fall in love with him?"

"He has a really big penis."

"Wow, he does? I never knew!"

"I know! It's like...eleven inches when it's fully erect!" gushed Tetra.

"Woah! That's wicked sweet! I hope I find a guy who's eleven inches..."

Tetra smiled and looked into Bambi's eyes.

"I've never had a girl friend in my entire life. The closest I've come are gay male friends; my entire crew (with the exception of you and Link) are fags. I do not regret inviting you to join, and I'm glad you accepted. This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship, I do believe!" said Tetra. She pulled Bambi into a hug.


A stage had been sat up in the middle of the town. Atop it sat a podium and mic. Daphness Nohansen Hyrule climbed onto the stage and "ahemed" into the mic for silence. Everyone gathered to the stage.

"Friends! Well...none of you are my friends, but ANYWAY... I would like to celebrate the end of a long and epic journey to defeat a girl, who, as it was soon found out, was posessed by the evil wind sorcerer Vaati, the one from the legends."

Murmurs ripped through the crowd.

"SHUT UP, I AIN'T DONE TALKIN'!" snapped Daphness. Everyone fell silent.

"It proves that when they aren't getting in your way and contracting sexual diseases, children really can do miracles. Link, Tetra, and Bambi...please come to the stage."

The silence thickened as the three keepers of the Triforce climbed onto the stage.

"I never thought I'd say this, but...I think they deserve a round of applause..." Daphness grumbled. The crowd cheered and clapped wildly for the three young heroes.

"I would like to say something!" said Link.

"What is it?" Daphness hissed impatiently.

"Just gimme the mic!"

"No! It's my mic!"

"GIVE IT!" Link growled, grabbing at it.

Daphness pulled it away.

"No, don't touch it, you little shit!"

"GIVE ME THE MICROPHONE, FATASS!" Link yelled.

"No!" Daphness replied.

"GIVE IT!" Link whined, tears filling his eyes. He stomped his foot. Bambi hastily scrambled towards them and ripped the microphone from the king, and handed it to Link.

"GIVE ME THAT!" Link snapped at Bambi, roughly grabbing it from her and shoving her away.

Link looked at the crowd and began his speech.

"Thanks to me, you have all been saved! I got the power of the sages and recovered the Master Sword! I killed Vaati! You should all be kissing my feet! I'll even let you touch me if you pay me enough! I'll -- "

Daphness took the microphone back.

"Ok, you get the point. Anyway, I would also like to announce...my engagement."

"What?" gasped Tetra.

"Nabooru, please come to the stage," said the king, ignoring Tetra. Smiling, Nabooru climbed onto the stage. Link watched her boobs wiggle as she did so.

Daphness wrapped an arm around the Gerudo's waist.

"Nabooru and I are getting married!"

People applauded. Link was stunned.

Bambi took the microphone next.

"Congratulations, Daphness Nohasen Hyrule and Nabooru. Anyway...I want to thank Link and Tetra for saving me. Without them, I would have remained Vaati's prisoner. I have my freedom to thank them for. I am honored to be accepted officially as a member of their pirate crew, too. I learned that the fire of hope is everywhere, and is always there, even when it is hidden," she said.

Tetra took the mic.

"I agree with Bambi's statement. Tomorrow, we set sail once again, and we pray that we meet peaceful waters. We have fought many battles, and dammit, peace would be nice for once. But even if we do find trouble, we have eachother to fall back on. Friends really are important."

"DO YOU WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT?" Darunia screamed at Tetra.

"What's your problem?" Tetra yelled at the Goron.

"OH NO YOU DID-N'T! YOU DID NOT GO THERE!" replied Darunia.

"Oh, I went there!"

Darunia climbed onto the stage. He and Tetra began to fight. Daphness and Nabooru started fucking eachother for all to see. Aryll climbed onto the stage and tried to get Bambi to play horseback riding with her, while down in the crowd, Komali and Saria pole danced for money.

And Link...he strode to the dessert bar, full of pride, the wind at his back.

THE END

And so, as Tetra said, the crew set sail the next day. As the pirate captain had wished, they had met calm days and waters for quite some time. Her love for Link strengthened, and her friendship with Bambi blossomed into something special.

Unfortunately, this period of warmth, sunshine, and euphoria lasted for only a short while...

Three months after the quest this story tells of ended, something strange happened... Storms raged through the Great Sea, and Tetra was plagued with horrible nightmares.

And the strangest thing of all was a voice that came to the pirate captain in her sleep...the voice of a young girl. It always repeated a certain phrase.

It said, "Come to my land of secrets and bring your loved ones. I will teach you of your past, and I will tell them of their's. Your days as a hero are not over yet -- they have only just begun. I need your aid before it's too late... Help me..."