(scene opens up under Patrick's rock)
Spongebob: Hiya Patrick! Whatcha been up to lately?
Patrick: Who's there? Stand back or I'll…..I'll do something! As soon as I can think of that something….bu….but you just wait…..YOU!
Spongebob: Relax my big gob of gum, you! This is Spongebob! So Patrick...how are you?
Patrick: Besides sleepy…..umm…..umm……WHO ARE YOU!
Spongebob: Remember Patrick. My name's Spongbob! Come back to the big rock on Bikini Bottom! Do you read me? Come in Patrick!
Patrick: What……oh…..hi Spongebob! How are you?
Spongebob: (stands in shock) Whatever! So, my soon to be dead….I mean in bed friend, you wanna have a sleep over at my house?
Patrick: Spongebob….the apparent time appears to be 6:30 in the morning, due to the depiction of dawn. My dear friend, I believe that positioning me in your "juicy" pineapple house would be the wasting of time and energy….hypothetically!
Spongebob: Wah? Somebody must have dropped a "smart" pill in your drink!
Patrick: What happened? Who are you and what have you done with…….with…..with (saying continuously, slowing and lowering the tone each time till finally falling asleep)
Spongebob: This task was too easy. Patrick, you wish you were dumb enough to glue your eyelids to your forehead because you're not going to see that you're going to die.
(Spongebob slowly takes his jackknife releasing it, positioning himself to pierce Patrick in the heart, while Sandy is walking up to Spongebob's front door).
(scene closes from Patrick's house)
(scene opens at Spongebob's front door)
Sandy: (knocks on Spongebob's door, getting no answer) I wonder where my yellow friend has gone at (Sandy then hears a voice under Patrick's rock, sounding like Spongebob's)?
(scene opens up in Patrick's home)
Sandy: Hi Sponge……………WHAT ARE YOU DOING! Why in the world do you have a jackknife out? Why do you have an evil grin on your face? And why in the world are you positioned on top of Patrick like that?
Spongebob: Oh……ummm……Sandy, Patrick and I are just playing…..kill the neighbor!
Sandy: I may have been born in a hot state, but my brain is not a frying egg! You're doing something you aren't supposed to! It's about 7:00 A.M. and you're playing a game that can wait later on today? Something is fishy……..and it's not Patrick's laundry!
Spongebob: You're the one to act shocked! Alright……well…..it's not a game! I am really going to kill Patrick!
Sandy: But…..FOR WHAT! You can't just go around killing everyone that you see. Well….maybe you're breath could kill a million…..but why Patrick?
Spongebob: Trying to act clueless I see!
Spongebob: You remember that little conversation we had at your place? Well, I figured the person out!
Sandy: Well……so? What reason is that to kill Patrick?
Spongebob: PATRICK IS THE LOVER IN WHICH YOU PROCEEDED TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH! His IQ is like a rock because he can't even remember his OWN name sometimes and plus, all he thinks of is one thing………NOTHING! I truly love you and I won't even let a best friend tear our love apart!
Sandy: Wah! You are an idiot!
Spongebob: YOUR idiot, though! You two would be the ideal couple! You two are hardly ever seen together in public and you seem to not share any chemistry whatsoever!
Sandy: Then WHAT would make us an ideal couple?
Spongebob: You two would be an "unexpected" couple in which no one would ever think you two would ever go out……let alone get married! Did Patrick and you do something like Jennifer Lopez and her husband with the quick wedding?
Sandy: Alright……I'm confused! Look Spongebob…….Patrick is not my husband.
Spongebob: Than, who is!
Sandy: It's……it's……..MR. KRABS!
Spongebob: You're a terrible liar! You would never go out with my boss……let alone MARRY HIM! He likes Mrs. Puffs……..remember?
Sandy: I was Mrs. Puff………in disguise! I did that so we could pursue a relationship without nobody knowing! Especially you!
Spongebob: (in a state of shock) what about the riddle?
Sandy: Well, he only has one thing on his mind……..MONEY!
Spongebob: Liar…Patrick………TAKE THIS! (stabs Patrick in the heart)
Spongebob: Haha! Now what gives you the reason to lie about a relationship with a "deceased" person?
Sandy: But……..but…………but Spongebob…….my lover TRULY is Mr. Krabs!