Summary: No matter how hard Catherine tries to move on with her life, Eddie still haunts her. Contains spoilers for any Eddie episodes. G/C
Disclaimer: As much as i would like them, all the characters of csi and csi itself belong to Mr.Bruckheimer and cbs. If the show did belong to me then it would've gotten the axe along time ago because im not as creative as all the writers. Nor do i own the song 'I Bruise Easily.' That belongs to Natasha Bedingfield.
My skin is like a map Of where my heart has been And I cant hide the marks
'I hate him.'
Catherine threw her glass of water across the room.
"I hate him."
Catherine stared at the broken glass and pool of water she created in one corner of her kitchen. He made her this vulnerable and afraid of a long term relationship. Catherine was relieved that Lindsey was staying with Nancy. She'd hate for Lindsey to see her this way. Catherine walked over to the broken glass and began to pick up the broken pieces of glass.
Catherine dropped the piece of glass and watched as the spilt water mixed with a crimson colour. She lifted up her hand and sighed in frustration as she noticed blood dribbling down her hand and dripping off her thumb.
"To hell with you Eddie Willows."
Catherine got up and grabbed her car keys. Time to start another shift. She got in her vehicle and began to drive. Dots of rain clouded up her windscreen. The wipers took care of them but nothing took care of the tears falling smoothly off Catherines cheeks.
Its not a negative thing So I let down my guard Drop my defences down by my clothes I'm learning to fall With no safety net to cushion the blow
Catherine wiped the stains from her face as she walked the steps of csi. As she was getting to the briefing room, Nick,Sara and Warrick were heading out.
"Have you guys had your assignments?"
"Grissom just gave them out."
Catherine looked at her watch.
'How can i be late? I left at my normal time.'
Catherine walked into the briefing room. She noticed Gil sitting in a chair just looking at her.
"Im sorry Gil. I have no idea why im late."
Catherine sat down and stared at Gil.
"What have you got for me?"
"For us. Me and you have a 419 at The Little White Chapel."
Gil looked at Catherine. Over the past few days he noticed her appearance and personality had become tired and less vibrant. To him it was like staring at a blank canvas but she looked beautiful none then less.
"Are you ok?"
Catherine looked at Gil.
"Im fine. Why?"
Gil took his glasses off.
"Well apart from the fact you have blood running down you hand.."
Catherine looked at her hand and bit on her lip to stop herself from cursing.
"You look tired."
"I've never been a good sleeper."
Catherine opened her purse looking for a tissue. Gil got up and opened a cupboard underneath the sink producing a first aid kit.
Catherine smiled as Gil took her hand.
I bruise easily So be gentle when you handle me Theres a mark you leave Like a love heart carved on a tree
Catherine watched as Gil cleaned the cut. The tips of his fingers brushing against her skin.
"Cleaning glass off the floor."
"And how did the glass get there in the first place?"
"I dropped my glass of water."
Gil placed a light bandage around Catherines hand. He smoothed it over with his hand and looked at Catherine.
"You should get that checked out?"
Catherine got up.
"So, are we going to work today or not?"
Gil looked at Catherine standing in the doorway. She was putting up walls.
"Cath. If there was something wrong, you'd talk to me about it wouldn't you?"
"You know i would."
Catherine offered Gil a reassuring smile.
"Shall we get going cause last time i checked, crime doesn't solve itself."
Gil got up.
I bruise easily Cant scratch the surface Without moving me underneath I bruise easily
Catherine couldn't help but notice Grissom looking at her whilst she drived them out to the crime scene.
"Have i got something on my face?"
"Then why do you keep staring at me?"
Gil looked away and out the window.
"You've just seemed different lately."
"No i haven't."
"Cath, im your best friend. Believe me when i say i'd think i'd notice."
"And im me and in a better position to judge whether i've been acting differently."
Silence fell in the car.
"No one's judging you Cath. I mean look at all the trouble you've been through with men, no one can expect you to come out of that completely intact."
Catherine took her eyes off the road for a minute took look at Gil.
"Gil, the reason i've seemed different to you lately is because you've barely been around to see or even talk to me."
"What do you expect? Catherine you've pushed me so far away over these last few years and i do not like being that far away. You go into endless relationships where you know you're going to come out the other side hurt and i've always been there to pick up the pieces. Do you know how much it hurts me to see you only want me after you've found out your boyfriend is a cheat?"
"and what about you? Believe it or not Gil, you are not mister innocent in all fo this. You only ever want me when Sara doesn't want you. You can't even imagine the hurt it causes to see you two. How close you've become and how you just help each other."
"This is ridiculous."
"And do you know why it hurts?"
Gil didn't answer.
"Because it reminds me of us! It reminds me of when i was there for you and you were there for me. We could be on the opposite side of the worlds but we'd still make time for each other. I miss you Gil."
I bruise easily
"I miss my friend."
Catherine stopped the car and took a deep breath before talking to Jim Brass. She stepped out and greeted Brass leaving Grissom to follow behind.
"Hey Cath, Grissom. The dead body is that of a Lisa Carter. Her fiancé found her. He said that she was having second thoughts about getting married and she went outside to get some air. Next time he saw her, she was dead."
"So much for loves young dream."
Grissom walked over to David giving Catherine the cold shoulder. Catherine rolled her eyes and stood at a distance behind him..
"Tell me about her David."
"Well, there are no physical wounds present. No injuries not even a bruise. Im afraid im one big blank until i get her back to the morgue."
"Ok. Thank you David."
"She poisoned herself."
Catherine nodded. Gil had given her the uncomfortable task of informing the boyfriend.
"When we went and searched your hotel room we found a note. It said she loved you but she couldn't marry you. She didn't want to hurt you so she took her life to avoid facing you every day."
The boyfriend broke down into Catherine's arms. She looked over at Grissom who was standing at the other end of the hall.
"I loved her so much. Why didn't she talk to me? We didn't have to get married."
I found you fingerprints On a glass of wine Do you know you're leaving them All over this heart of mine too
Gil walked into the break room and watched as Catherine refused to meet his eyes.
"How's the boyfriend?"
"Upset, confused and hurt. Brass got someone to drive him to his hotel."
Grissom sat down and stared at the coffee cup which Catherines hand covered.
"And how are you?"
Catherine brought her head around to look at Gil.
"Upset, confused and hurt."
Catherine removed her hand from the coffee cup and stood up.
"I'll see you tomorrow."
Gil grabbed Catherines arm as she walked past him. He looked up at her.
Catherine pulled her arm out of his grip
"You always are."
and walked away leaving Grissom in the dark.
But if I never take this leap of faith I'll never know
Catherine walked into her house and slammed the door shut. She walked through to the living room and into the kitchen. As she walked in she came face to face with the smashed glass she had failed to clean up.
Catherine placed her face in her hands and walked back into her living room. She collapsed on the couch and broke down into a fit of tears.
Grissom sat it his office oblivious to the world around him. He couldn't get Catherine out of his head. That woman angered him, drove him crazy, teased him, made him cry. Why was he focusing on the negative? That woman also made him laugh, could totally turn his mood, made him feel needed and special but most important of all, she made him feel loved.
Gil looked at Nick who was standing in his door.
"We're all heading out for a drink at this new club Greg suggested, do you have any idea where Catherine is?"
"She went home."
"Ok. Do you wanna come?"
Gil grabbed his jacket.
Gil sprinted out of his office receiving glances from everyone he ran past.
Warrick waved as Grissom went as him and Sara. Greg walked out of the lab.
"What's up with Grissom?"
"You guys should bring some spare clothes to this club."
So im learning to fall With no safety net to cushion the blow
Grissom knocked on Catherines door.
Catherine stopped crying to try and figure out if Gils voice was a figure of her imagination or he was actually outside her door.
"Cath, please let me in."
Catherine got up and walked to her front door. She hesitated.
"Cath i can see your shadow. Please don't push me away."
Gil waited to see if he got a reply. After being sure he wasn't going to get one he decided to cross that fine line.
"I love you Catherine."
Catherines eyes stared at the door in disbelief. She opened the door and now her disbelief was fixed on Gil.
"What did you say?"
"I love you."
Catherine stepped back for Gil to come in.
"What about you and Sara?"
Gil pushed close the door and walked towards Catherine.
"There is no me and Sara. There never was a chance that anything could happen between us and there never will be a chance."
Gil took Catherine into his arms.
"You have nothing to be sorry about."
Catherine pulled out and walked back into the living room. She offered for Grissom to sit down.
"You didn't have to come. Im fine."
"Cath, why do you insist on trying to be brave infront of me? i've known you for twenty years."
I bruise easily So be gentle whenyou handle me
"I've got to be brave Gil. I have a daughter who needs me to brave."
Catherine got up and walked into the kitchen. Gil followed her and watched as she tried to clean up the the bloodied water which had now slightly stained the kitchen floor.
"Well, you're not around your daughter all the time. You've got to think of yourself now and again."
"When i think of myself I..."
Theres a mark you leave Like a love heart carved on a tree
Catherine looked at Gil.
"I get hurt."
"My life has always had to revolve around something or someone. My job, Eddie and then Lindsey."
Gil bent down next to her and took away the soaked cloth. He didn't want Catherine occupied so she would become unfocused and take her attention away from him.
"Im sorry that i couldn't stop Eddie."
"You did. When me and Warrick were investigating that shooting and Eddie came to csi. You stood between us and stopped me from getting hurt."
"I never stepped in before. I never spoke up when you two started seeing each other. I never spoke up when the two of you got married and then when you fell pregnant with Lindsey, i felt like it wasn't my right to say anything."
"You and Lindsey kept me sane. Lindsey made my day more bearable and you, well you made my nights feel special. Whenever we investigated a case together, i completely forgot about Eddie. That was my time."
I bruise easily Cant scratch the surface Without moving me underneath I bruise easily
"I think of Eddie everyday and not in a good way. I hated the way he treated you because you were my best friend and when he accused me of feeling something for you, i never denied it. I just walked away because i knew that at the end of the day he was right. I did have feelings for you."
Catherine took Gils hand.
"I still do."
Gil leaned in and kissed Catherine but gently so she could pull back at anytime.
Anyone who can touch you Can hurt you or heal you
Cath shivered with Gils touch. His fingertips danced underneath her strawberry blonde hair and across her bare neck.
"Are you sure you want this? I mean i want this to be special for you and me."
Anyone who can reach you Can love you or leave you
"Every moment in these last 20 years with you has been special. Gil, this isn't me wanting to be with someone because i might be lonely, this is me wanting to be with a man who never lets me falls."
Gil smiled and began to kiss her again. Catherine pulled back.
"Ummm Gil, i don't mean to be fussy or anything, but do you think we can do it in my bedroom and not on the kitchen floor."
Gil looked at Catherine and brushed a piece of her hair back.
"That will be no problem."
So be gentle
I really hope you enjoyed that. It's my first ever csi fic and my first ever G/C fic. Please be brutally honest in your reviews. I can handle it. I only cry for a few hours.
So please R & R.