Haha! I got you so good! You really thought it was over, didn't you? You can't fool me. I just couldn't live with the cruddy ending, so I'm adding a chapter just for you! I hope you like it. Enjoy! And review, because this really is the last chapter. No joke.
Toast Monsters: Cloud, man, that plan failed. That means you have to go through initiation.
Cloud: Is it my fault if people aren't theatrically inclined?
Toast Monsters: Yes.
Cloud: Oh. What must I do?
Toast Monsters: You must overcome your greatest fear.
TM: Hey, it's not that bad.
Cloud: But I'm terrified of them!
TM: Pickles? (Cloud screeches like a little girl)
Cloud: Don't make me do it!
TM: Well…okay. Then all you have to do is destroy Sephiroth!
Cloud: Oh. I can do that! (runs off to create a plan)
TM: Did anyone notice that we were all talking at the same time?
Cloud: This is a great plan! (builds a giant morphing machine) I can turn Sephy into anything I want! An ice cream scoop, a computer, a sledgehammer, a bug, a TV…yeah I'll go with the last one. (mails it to Sephy's house)
Queenie: What ya doin, Sephy?
Sephiroth: Venting anger by destroying things. Your things.
Queenie: No! Don't do it! I beg of you! I call upon the awesome power of the Demonic Moldy Bagel Bite Experiments from Beneath the Band-Aid Box to protect my stuff!
Sephiroth: Oh great…not this again…
Cow: I'll get it, since yoooouuuu twooooooooo are toooooooooooo busy.
(Answers door; there is a giant box there marked 'from Clo- I mean, a friend')
Queenie (to Sephy): Do not deny my awesome power!
Sephy: What power? You're a cat with a whole bunch of plushies that look like little mini pizzas that turned pink!
Queenie: So I'm a little low on a budget…
Cow: Hey look! A morphing ray!
Sephiroth: Oh no…Don't touch that, Cow!
Cow: Oooooooooooooooooooo…(slowly reaches for the button)
Queenie: Don't do it!
Cow: …(almost there)
Sephiroth: No! It's a trap!
Cow: Aw, what the heck. (presses button) (The ray charges up)
Queenie: Cow! I'll save you! (slow mo jumps in front of Cow just as the ray hits.)
Sephiroth: Gasp. What happened now…OH NO! IT'S-
(The creature slowly staggers to its feet. It looks like Super Queenie with cow-colored splotches and holding an ice cream cannon gun.)
Sephiroth: -DAIRY QUEEN!
DQ: I'm off to smite the Toast Monsters! Minons of the Band-Aid Box, follow my lead! TO THE HOUSE OF CLOUD! (she stomps out, followed by many millions of demon bagel bites)
Sephiroth (shouting after her): And could you pick up my dry cleaning? AND SOME MILK! WE'RE ALL OUT!
Meanwhile, Mario is trapped inside the DDR game.
Mario: Get-a me outta here! Mamma mia!
Smith clone: Sorry. We can't operate this new high-powered technology. The only thing I've ever used runs on a 56k modem.
Daxter: This is boring. Plus I have no idea what you just said.
Keira: Why oh why did I clone Daxter…
Master Chief: Does anyone have any pickles? (Cloud whimpers from far away)
Mario: He's-a never going to get over that, is he?
Daxter: Nope. We've had him on staff for years, and every time someone mentioned pickles, well, we never did hear from that person again…
Keira: Part of the reason why he got fired from his last job.
Master Chief: Hey! I like this song! (The Barbie Girl song)
Keira: Why am I not surprised?
Smith clone: Then let's DDR.
Mario: I agree! Mamma mia!
Daxter (starts dancing): Will you ever shut up?
Mario: Probably not.
Dairy Queen has arrived at Cloud's house.
DQ (rings doorbell): Open up, Cloud!
Cloud: Alright, alright, I'm coming…(opens door) And who might you be?
DQ: I am Dairy Queen, using the power of-
Cloud: (little kid voice) Oh boy oh boy oh boy! ICE CREAM! Do you have any mocha-flavored ice cream? It's my most favoritest kind in the whole world.
DQ: Uh, no, I'm here to smite you.
Cloud: Oh. (clears throat and takes on a high-and-mighty tone) Who hath sent thee to do their bidding?
DQ: Sephiroth, who else? Now can we hurry this up? I've got to get his dry cleaning and some milk. I love milk.
Cloud: Well, I'm not goin' down without a fight!
DQ: But I have a secret weapon! (pulls out a pickle)
Cloud: I have to fight it…must…resist…screaming…(eye twitches)
DQ: I shall destroy thee!
Cloud: No! (quickly grabs the offending pickle and stuffs it into his mouth, then swallows slowly) Oh what have I done?
DQ: Oh snap. That was the only one I had…
Cloud: If I give you milk, will you leave?
Cloud: Chocolate milk?
Cloud: With cookies?
DQ: LET ME HAVE IT!
Cloud: Suit yourself. (pours chocolate milk over DQ's head and whacks her over the head with a giant cookie)
DQ: Night night… (falls asleep, sucking her thumb. Cloud whacks her baseball-style with his sword, hurtling her back to Sephiroth's house.)
Sephiroth: I wonder what could be taking her so long…
(Suddenly, DQ crashes through the roof, flattening Sephiroth, a lamp, the TV, and several comically misshapen carrots.)
DMBBEFBTBAB: Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh! Our leader! (They carry DQ off to their secret headquarters: beneath a band-aid box in Queenie's room.)
Sephiroth: Why does this always have to happen to me…AND I NEVER GOT MY DRYCLEANING! (falls unconscious)
(Mario has long since been released from his DDR prison)
Mario: Thanks for getting me out of there, guys!
TP Link: No problem. Where would we be without our president?
Falco: (muttering) We'd be a lot better off.
MM Link: How can you say that? Mario's great!
Falco: I know, I know. I was just kidding.
Mario: It's-a okay.
OoT Link: It's nice to meet you, TP Link.
TP Link: I simply couldn't miss the release of my own game.
WW Link: I have a feeling we forgot something…
h890: That was fun. We should go join the Nintendo party.
fg00: Of course we should! But what about AoL Link?
h890: How about it, Link? Are you off of AOL now?
AoL Link: You bet! I've seen the light. And this NetZero is awesome! I prefer to be called NZ Link now.
h890: If you insist. Now let's go!
NZ Link: Yay! To the party! I'm driving!
h890: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
NZ Link: Oh, chill out. I have my learner's permit. (mutters) In seven years…
(One way or another, somehow avoiding many accidents, trees, people, buildings, and oncoming traffic, NZ Link drives to the party. They arrive, dizzy.)
h890: LAND! SWEET, NONMOVING LAND!
NZ Link: (confusedly) I told ya…we'd make it… (faints)
Mario: You're all crazy. MC Link, if you will…
MC Link: With pleasure, yo! (presses play, and the Cha Cha Slide starts. Everyone but NZ Link dances to it because, well, he fainted, if you were paying attention.)
MM Link: This rocks!
OoT Link: Hey- aren't we the same person?
MM Link: Hmm…
WW Link: Well, as we all know, I'm way better than either of you.
MC Link: Do we have to start this again? Why don't we all just jam?
Links: Whatever ya say.
Mario: Now let's Cha Cha Slide!
Keira: Does this mean Nintendo won the war?
Daxter: I guess so. I wonder if there's a second chance drawing…
Mario: I still think we forgot something...
Captain Falcon: IS ANYONE EVER GOING TO GET ME DOWN FROM HERE?
Cloud: Well, I did it! All it took was for me to eat a pickle, but I'm not afraid anymore!
TM: You have re-earned the right to lead us, Cloud!
Cloud: Actually, I don't need you guys anymore. Sorry. I hope we can still be friends.
TM: But, we need a leader!
LotTM: YOU HAVE ME!
TM: Oh yeah…right…
Cloud: No hard feelings, right?
TM: No… (tie Cloud to a chair, glue his eyes open, and force him to watch Barney reruns.) No hard feelings whatsoever.
CLOUD: Noooooooo oooooooooo ooooooooo oooooooo ooooooo oooooooo oooooooo ooooooo! (they duct tape his mouth shut) (He tries to talk and shout, but realizing he's lost, Cloud simply hums to the I Love You You Love Me Let's Get Together and Kill Barney song.
THE END (really!)
I'm sorry I tricked you guys. But you should seen your faces… (laughs) Well, this really is the last one. Merry Christmas Hannuka Kwanza and Winter Solstice to ya! AND EAT CANDY FOR HALLOWEEN AND ALWAYS GO TRICK OR TREATING! IT'S A TRADITION! YAY! Review.