Here we are with my first SSBM fic!

Kyro: Which you finally wrote….

Roland: No kidding.

Silence, you! Back to the muse-cave! Uhhh…. Sorry about that. This idea came to me as a result of brain-storming with Kojay, so thanks go out to him. Oh yeah, by the way, although Roy, Marth, and Link might get kinda friendshippy, this is by no means a yaoi fic. Nor is it shounen-ai. Not now, not ever. This is multi-chaptered, so it will be updated.

I am still a relatively new author, so please constructivly criticize. Please don't flame, or Roy will be jealous of you. And believe me, you don't want a fire swordsman mad at you. I would know…

Roland: Grrrr….

Back! Anyway, I don't own SSBM. If I did, it would have plot, and Roy's default costume would be red. Because red is cool. Also, the camera mode could be fully managed by one person. And since none of that is true, I can safely say I don't own it.

On with the show! Bwa ha ha!

Sherlock Roy

" Oh Maaaaaarrrrth!" sang an irripressibly energetic voice. "Time to get up! We're gonna miss breakfast!"

The blue-haired swordsman groaned and turned over to look at the clock.

"W-what the… FOUR THIRTY! WHAT"S THE MATTER WITH YOU!" he screamed. In Smash Mansion, there was no official time to wake up. Most of the Smashers tried to get up in time to hit breakfast, which was a rather chaotic event. But 4:30 was out of the question!

"I am NOT going to be the last one to make it to breakfast," said Roy. "After what happened yesterday, I thought this was a reasonable time!"

"4..30…" mumbled Marth. He hadn't taken that long in the bathroom, had he? You don't get this pretty without a little toil after all. Marth took a second to contemplate why he had just called himself "pretty." Oh well.

"Look, I just wanna get to breakfast on time FOR ONCE. So hurry up, we don't have time."

"What do you mean not enough time? Breakfast doesn't start for three hours!" cried Marth. Noises were heard from the adjacent rooms, but the two took no notice.

"Yeah, but knowing you, I probably should have gotten up earlier." grinned Roy.

"W-what's that supposed to mean!" exclaimed Marth.

"It means youtake forever in the bathroom, Hair-Boy." Roy was still smiling cheekily. Marth was aghast. Nobody messed with the 'do. It was blue! How often do you see that? (A/N: A lot nowadays, actually….00)

"Oh yeah? What about your hair, Flame-head? I'm afraid to go near your scalp for fear of acquiring 3rd degree burns!" Marth smiled smugly.

Roy frowned. "Well what do you expect? I'm half-dragon. You should be glad I didn't get the whole package! I could have been born with horns, claws, fire breath… At least my hair is a natural color! I know you dye yours."

" I DO NOT! And besides, your mom was an ice dragon."

Roy grinned again. Marth had fallen into his trap once again. Time to deliver the finishing blow.

"Well, your momma…"

"NO! Do NOT start with those accursed your-momma jokes! Those things are evil! EVIL I SAY!" It was at that moment that Marth realized he was yelling. In Smash Mansion. At 4:30. And the evil Smashers were right next door.

The door burst open, and a giant Koopa claw came out. An eerie fog shrouded the outside. Bowser's hand grabbed Marth and dragged him out, screaming all the way. Among Marth's wailing, the cackling of many evil voices (and some that Roy recognized as not-so-evil) was heard. The door slammed shut, and silence settled over the room. Roy sat on the bed, dumbfounded by what happened. His brow was wreathed in heavy thought…

How the heck did they get fog inside a mansion?

Roy eventually decided that HAL Laboratories was indeed insane as everyone said, and he came to the topic of whether or not he should rescue Marth. He spent a few minutes wondering, but then decided that the more time he thought, the less time he had to eat. All thoughts of Marth gone from his mind, he bolted in and out of the bathroom and flew downstairs, causing a ruckus all the way. The Smashers were too busy tormenting Marth to pay any attention to him, however.

Unbeknownst to Roy, a shadowed figure slunk into his room, entering Marth's personal chest. The figure retrieved an item, and quickly fled the room.

"Fwa ha ha ha… Finally, it is mine…"


A couple hours later, Link was strolling through the hall.

"Man, it sure is a great morn-what the heck?" Marth was sprawled on the stairs.

Apparently, the prince wasn't doing so well. He was battered, bruised, and had pajamas with little kittens all over them, for some reason…

"Uhhh…." he moaned.

"Holy Farore! What the heck happened to you, Marth?" Link cried. " And why are you wearing those pajamas?"

Marth slowly stood to his feet.

" I'm pretty sure Mewtwo brainwashed me into putting them on. I'm still wearing my real clothes underneath. A fact which I am thanking the gods for with each passing second…." Link took a moment to ponder just why Mewtwo had kitty pajamas, then thought better of it. The less he knew, the less he'd be traumatized.

"O…kay…" Link muttered. " But why was Mewtwo mad at you?"

" I made the mistake of waking most of the evil Smashers. They weren't very pleased. It… wasn't pretty. I swear, when I get my hands on Roy…" He left his words hanging ominously in the air.

Link nodded. So that was what the ruckus was that morning. He thought it was a group of rampaging Cuccoos. Link shuddered. Cuccoos… the very reason why he left Hyrule. That flock was probably still hunting him…

It was at this moment that Roy came out of the kitchen door. He didn't seem to be doing so well, either. His face was green, and his stomach seemed to have grown a tad bit.

" burp Ooo… I shouldn't have had that donut. Or the twenty before it… Oooo…"

Link stared. Was everyone going nuts today? He'd never seen Roy full before.

"Roy! You little- look what's happened to me! This is your fault!" yelled Marth.

" Ah-ah-ah…" Roy waggled his finger. "You were the one who started yelling, not me. 'Sides, Doc Mario'll fix you up. I wonder if he can help me…" muttered Roy.

"It's not really a question of if he can, it's if he will." replied Marth. " He's probably still made about when you burned all the magazines in his waiting room."

" I was bored! And he was going to give me a shot! I was nervous, okay?"

Link rolled his eyes. The great hero of Elibe, scared by a shot… If everyone on that continent was like Roy, it might be best to stay away.

Marth sighed. How he and Roy came from the same game series, he'd never know.

Wait… what's a "game series?" he wondered. " Fine. There's no point in being mad at you, is there?"

Link smiled. "Yup! We swordsmen gotta stick together, right? No let's get you two to the doc."

Marth started to head back to his room. Link and Roy were talking about some obscure topic somewhere along the lines of whether it was possible to meld swords and bows together. Marth had left the minute he heard the words "swords' and "melding". Roy and melding did not go well together. He really did not want to remember the sword-plunger of '97. That took 8 years of therapy to get rid of. Looking back, it may not have been a good idea to tell Mario to investigate those pipes… It was a good thing the hat was all that was stabbed. Tiaras were way better anyway.

Marth walked inside his room. The fog had long since dissipated, but Marth noticed something was wrong. His chest was open, and there were footprints on the ground.

They didn't take…NOOOOO!


" A bow that fires swords! That's all I'm saying!" said Roy.

"No way," said Link. "Swords are way too heavy. There's no way someone could even fire that bow, let alone accurately."

"Look, just 'cause your flimsy Hylian arms couldn't—"

Luckily for Roy and his big mouth, a blood- curtling scream wrenched the air.


What the—that sounds like Marth!" yelled Link. The duo rushed to the room Roy and Marth shared only to find Marth huddled in the feeble position, rocking back and forth.

"N-no… they took it… it's gone…."

He he he he he…. You are all slaves to the cliff-hanger….

Next chapter: We find out just what was stolen, and Roy begins his quest. Also, Marth loses his mind. Heh heh heh…. Prepare for Cuccoo-induced insanity with Link when the flock comes back for revenge….

Let's just say it involves whistles, electrical cords, a word processor, and one really angry porcupine.

R/R, and see if you can guess what was stolen. There's a hint in this chapter.

Blazing Fool