Full Ranma Panic
By Lisa Grey
Full Metal Panic (anime)/Ranma 1/2 crossover (anime and what I've picked up from the events in the manga).
(Stolen) Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and the characters associated with it belong to Rumiko Takahashi and whomever she has sold the rights to. Full Metal Panic and it's associated characters belong to it's copy right holders. This work of fanfiction is not intended for monetary gain, but was written just for the fun of it.
Authors Note: This work is a fanfiction. To me that means that I, as the author, have taken some liberties with the characters. They are not exactly canon, but I tried to keep them close to keep the same basic 'feel'.
This work is also a departure for me, it will be my first series. This is something of a violation to a promise I made myself, to not post a work until it's complete in the rough draft phase. However, after working on it I realized that it would work well as an on going set of episodes, each with their own plot and climax. At the same time, there is a second thread to the story that I will try to progress with each installment. I will do my best to develop each arc to a good stopping point before I post so that should I, for some reason, drop dead or something, I won't have failed my obligation to you, the reader, in too terrible a way.
During the writing of this, I found myself cycling through several different tones. It runs the gamut from military sci-fi to romance to humor to angst to action. Some of it might be cliché. Some of it might be of the "Ranma is way too powerful" flavor. Some of it might even be sappy (hey, I like sappy). One thing it won't be is one scene after another of romantic frustration.
A little note on Akane. I like Akane. I don't think that she's a brutal sadistic maniac, like many people seem to portray her. Before, I saw Kaname Chidori, Akane was my favorite anime girl (next to Ranma). In this story, Akane has issues. Sorry, but it was necessary.
As with any good (IMHO) Ranma work, if you are offended by lesbian or limish situations, then perhaps you'd better not read this. Also, keep in mind, I write this stuff for my enjoyment. I share it with you for yours. I would also like to apologize in advance for any blunders concerning Japanese Culture. I try to do what research I can justify without interrupting the flow of my writing (since my muse is fickle at times), but having no actual experience, I try to make it sound reasonable to the average American (the presumed audience).
This has only been proofed by myself, and everyone who writes knows how difficult that is. Sorry if I missed anything.
And finally I'd just like to say, ARRGGHH, Sousuke is hard to write dialogue for!
Chapter 1: Recruiting
"Jeez, not those two again," Ranma muttered. For the last week it seemed like every time he looked up the blonde guy and the short haired chick seemed to be there. He wished they would just attack and get it over with. Their constant stalking was starting to get on his nerves. Always looking at him through binoculars, taking pictures, following him around. It was freaky. "I wonder what Pop did to them?"
Enough was enough though. He slipped around the corner and slipped into the Umisenken. Sure enough, the pair came around the corner and looked around.
"Where'd he go?" the blond haired guy asked.
"How the hell should I know?" the woman answered. "Probably started the roof-hopping shit again."
"You think he's on to us?" the guy asked.
"Could be," the woman said. "It's okay though, we've gathered enough intel on him. It's about time we make our move."
'I knew it,' Ranma thought to himself. 'They are gonna attack. Well, this time I'm gonna confront 'em on their ground so I don't get accused of destroyin' the dojo.'
Ranma followed the pair to an apartment building. They entered and climbed up the stairs to the sixth floor. He watched from the stairway as they opened a door and entered an apartment. He gave them a few minutes to make sure they weren't coming back out and then dropped the Umisenken. Walking to the door he'd watched them go through he thought about just kicking it in, like everyone did when they came after him, but he decided to just knock.
"Can I help you?" the blond man asked as he opened the door. If he was surprised to see Ranma, he didn't show it.
"Yeah, you can tell me what Pop did to ya, and why you plan on takin' it out on me?" Ranma demanded.
"I'm sorry I have no idea who you are, or what you're talking about," the man said.
"Don't lie to me, you jackass." Ranma snapped. "You and that chick have been stalkin' me for the last week. I wanna know why. Now start talkin'."
"It's okay Kurz, let him in," the woman said from behind the blond. "Look, Mr. Saotome, it's not what you think. Come in and we'll tell you everything we can, okay?"
The man, Kurz, swung the door wide and stepped back allowing Ranma to pass. The three entered a rather spartan living room that held a table and a bunch of hi-tech looking electronics in the corner. They seated themselves around the table.
"Okay, so talk," Ranma commanded.
"Mr. Saotome, we are not here to cause you any problems," the woman said reassuringly.
"Then what do ya want?" Ranma asked. The woman looked at the guy and he shrugged. Sighing, she turned back to Ranma.
"I am Sgt. Maj. Melissa Mao," the woman said. "This is Sgt. Kurz Webber. We are members of a privately run anti-terroist organization. The reason we have been following you is because you are being scouted for a possible recruitment offer. We could use an operative of your skills and the brass wants to see what a martial artist of your caliber can do with an Arm Slave."
"So your mercenaries?" Ranma asked.
"In a technical sense," Mao agreed, "but we are principled. Our leadership and our people are all good men and women that want to make a difference, protect the weak and innocent, and make the world a better place. Much like yourself, Mr. Saotome."
Ranma appeared to think about this. "Okay, I'm listenin'."
"If you accept the offer," Mao continued, "you will be taken to our base and trained in our doctrine and procedures. You will be taught military strategy and battle tactics. And you will be trained to pilot an Arm Slave. After that you will be assigned a duty station where you will be given missions. Sometimes these missions will be combat missions. Sometimes not. You will be paid a good salary and be paid bonuses for mission completion and achieving mission objectives. You will be advanced in rank based on performance, or necessity, which will carry with it more responsibility as well as higher salary and bonus grades. Though you will not be permitted to discuss the organization by name or give any details about what you do, you will be free to visit home as duty rotation permits. While on assignment or at the base, your food and housing will be provided. Your medical needs will be provided and paid for in whole. Though you will be under contract, you will be free to walk away at anytime. It's a really sweet deal, Mr. Saotome, and judging from what we have seen of your life here, I would think it would be a welcome break from the craziness of this place."
Ranma sat for a moment in thought before he said, "I have other obligations and I don't know if I'm ready to do what it would take to free myself of them," Ranma said carefully. "Can I think about this?"
"Certainly," Mao replied, and then handed him a card. "If you decide you want to join up, then call this number and we'll make the arrangements. Take as long as you need. We'll be there."
"Thanks," Ranma said getting up. "Oh, and...um...sorry about the hostility at first."
"No problem," Mao smiled broadly. "We're familiar with your situation and I can understand how you reacted. Thank you for listening." Ranma nodded and left.
Ranma sat under his favorite tree at lunch doing something he had rarely ever done. He was thinking about what he wanted for himself. In fairness, he'd often thought about what he wanted 'right now', like he wanted not to wake up with a splash of water, he wanted to eat, or he wanted Kuno to stop chasing his girl form, or he wanted a cure for the curse, but this was different. Currently he was thinking about something it hadn't ever occurred to him to consider; what he wanted for the future. He was thinking about what he wanted to do with his life. His current options were; to marry Akane and become a homemaker/teacher in her dojo, for he had no illusions about whose dojo it would remain, to marry Ukyo and be a waitress/homemaker for her, or marry Shampoo and become a homemaker for her. It occurred to him that any of those options left him in the roll of the housewife. 'Mom probably wouldn't think that was very manly,' Ranma thought with disgust, both at his mother's ideas of manly and his apparent fate to be a housewife. 'Hell, I even got the body for it, best baby making hips in Japan after all.'
Now he had a fourth option, to become a soldier for this mysterious 'organization' and fight to make the world a better place. He liked the sound of that, unfortunately, the cost to pursue option 4 would be high. He would have to leave everything behind and start from zero, but he would be out clean, with no claims on him and he'd be pursuing a life that was far more appealing to him than the alternatives. The question was, was it worth...
"Ranchan, there you are," Ukyo said brightly, grabbing an arm and interrupting his train of thought. "Let me make some lunch for you!"
"Airen no want spatula girl's stupid pancake when he have too too good ramen Shampoo make for him," the Amazon warbled grabbing his other arm.
"RANMA, YOU JERK! I worked hours to prepare this bento for you and look at you, flirting with your floozies!" Akane yelled before charging him with her mallet as the other two girls fought a tug-o-war with his arms, inadvertently holding Ranma in place for Akane's coming blow.
"Fiend! How dare you insult the fair Akane, you enslaver of women!" Kuno cried. "I shall defeat you and then the fierce tigress, Akane Tendo and the pigtailed goddess will be free to bask in my manly love! Have at thee!"
Suddenly amidst all the tumult, Ranma's answer came to him clear as a bell. Yes, it would be worth it. Just as suddenly, Ranma became fed up with this same scene having been replayed on a daily basis. His battle aura, blazing hot, snapped into existence just as Akane's mallet began it's down stroke. The two other girl's yelped and let go of his arms. He reached up and plucked the mallet from Akane's hands and twirled around with it, slamming the onrushing Kuno over the head with it, driving him to his arm pits into the ground. With a scream of rage, he spun around in the classic hammer throw form and threw the mallet toward Tokyo Bay.
On board a certain submarine, a certain somber sergeant sneezed violently as he sat on the opened flight deck in a deck chair. Next to him sat a platinum silver haired girl, who was currently making eyes at him, though it seemed to escape his notice.
"Oh Sousuke, I'm so happy you agreed to this mission," the girl said sweetly.
Just then a large wooden mallet stenciled with the words Baka-Basher fell from the sky, impacting on the melancholy military man's face, sending him over backwards in the chair and tumbling across the deck in a heap.
Back at the school yard, the fiancées and the students had all frozen in shock. This wasn't how the scene was supposed to play out.
"GODDAMMIT!" Ranma roared. "I am SICK of you idiots fighting over me like I'm a piece of meat! Did you ever stop to think about what I WANTED? No, you DIDN'T! You're all too GODDAMN selfish to think about anyone but yourselves! Hell, you don't even CARE about me! You just want me so you can say you're better than the others, that you won the trophy! Well, I'm just goddamn tired of it! All of you just LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" Nobody moved as Ranma turned and walked out of the school yard, needing to think.
"Scary," Shampoo said softly after he was gone.
"You think we might have pushed him too far?" Ukyo asked nobody in particular.
"Maybe a little," Akane answered.
"I fight on..." Kuno groaned in his mallet induced slumber.
Ranma sat under the bridge thinking. He wasn't thinking about what he wanted. That decision had been make several minutes ago in the school yard. No, now he was thinking about how to execute what he knew, now, had to be done. It didn't make him happy, but it did give him a feeling he hadn't ever felt before, a feeling almost as good. He felt liberated. He took the card out that had that Mao woman's number on it. Looking at it briefly, he decided to go find a phone.
He walked out from under the bridge knowing now he was the captain of his fate, the master of his destiny. He was large and in charge. He was soaked by a sudden localized down pour and suddenly female.
With a glare at the heavens, she revised her plans to get hot water before finding a phone.
Having laid out all his plans, Ranma was currently engaged in phase one of his exit strategy. He slipped into the room of his live-in fiancée and crept up to her bed, slowly reaching out toward her sleeping body...and grabbed the small black pig snuggled up against her. Holding his hand over the pig's snout to silence any protest, he carried the porcine bundle down stairs and out the door, stopping to pick up the supplies he had gathered there just before he made the snatch and grab.
Moving quickly, he roof hopped his way to the school yard and landed lightly in the field. He held the pig up by his bandanna so they were face to face.
"Ryoga, we need to talk," Ranma said to the glaring pig. "Look, I have some hot water and some clothes here for ya, so don't run off when I put you down."
The pig glared angrily at him before slowly nodding. Ranma put the pig down and dumped the hot water from a thermos on him. As Ryoga began to get dressed, Ranma started talking.
"Okay, Ryoga," Ranma says seriously. "No ki attacks, no special moves, just you and me in a straight up martial arts fight."
"You're on, Ranma," Ryoga said smirking and cracking his knuckles.
The fight was characterized by the lack of the usual taunting from Ranma and screaming of death threats from Ryoga. Also different from their normal conflicts was the lack of explosions and the typical degree of property damage. When it was over they were both battered, bruised, and bleeding, and there had been no clear winner. Exhausted, they wordlessly agreed the fight was finished and sat down to catch their breath.
"Why, Ranma?" Ryoga asked.
"I'm leaving, Ryoga," Ranma stated flatly. "I just thought I'd give you the fight you wanted before I go."
"You're leaving?" Ryoga asked stunned. "For how long?"
"For good, Ryoga," Ranma said tiredly.
"But...but what about, Akane?" Ryoga asked, not sure if this was real or not.
"Take care of her, Ryoga," Ranma said. "Promise me?"
"Sure, Ranma," Ryoga said. "You know this is going to hurt her."
"Yeah, but it's for the best," Ranma said. "Our relationship was always pretty rocky, and lately, well, I just don't think we'd be happy together. Even after all this time, she doesn't trust me. I just can't help but think that even if we did marry, she'd still be jealous and suspicious every time another girl spoke to me. I just can't get it out of my head that the pattern of abuse will just continue. I don't want to have a relationship like that. As for the others, well, I'm just tired of their crap. I'm tired of getting treated like a trophy."
"Where will you go?" Ryoga asked.
"I'm not sure exactly," Ranma said. "I was offered a place with some sort of anti-terrorist group and I'm going to take it. I guess that's why I realized how tired of the crap around here I was getting. Before, I didn't have any options. Now that I've been offered an opportunity doing something that can make a difference, it's amazing how fast things around here got old, ya know?" Ranma laughed bitterly. "You know, Ryoga, if you play your cards right, you could become the heir to the Saotome school and end up engaged to Akane."
"Why? Wouldn't you still be the heir?" Ryoga asked perplexed.
"Nah, I'm giving it all up, Ryoga," Ranma replied. "I plan to give up the Saotome name and go ronin. I don't want Pop's past comin' back to haunt me anymore." Ranma stood and offered Ryoga his hand. "So, Ryoga, can we part as friends?"
Ryoga looked at Ranma's hand for a long time, thinking through what he had just been told. Looking up into Ranma's serious eyes, he took Ranma's hand. After Ranma pulled him to his feet, Ryoga relied.
"Okay, Ranma," Ryoga said. "Friends. But if I happen to see you somewhere, you know I'll have to kick your ass to make sure you're not getting soft, right."
"I wouldn't have it any other way," Ranma laughed. "Let's get back to the dojo. It's probably gonna get ugly tomorrow." Ryoga groaned in agreement at the pair made their way back to the dojo."
The next day, Ranma gathered the Tendos, the Saotomes, the Amazons, and Ukyo in the dojo.
"So what's this about, Ranma?" Nabiki asked with a smirk. "Did you finally decide on the lucky girl?"
"Something like that, Nabiki," Ranma grinned back at her.
The Shampoo and Ukyo started gushing about Ranma finally choosing them, then started arguing with each other about it.
"ENOUGH!" Ranma yelled, silencing them. "Now as to who I'm going to marry..." Everyone leaned forward intently. "My choice is..." They leaned forward a bit more. "None of the above."
There was the sound of several heads hitting the ground and then pandemonium ensued. Genma and Soun were demanding that he marry Akane. Ukyo was demanding that he marry her. The Amazon women were loudly making their case as well.
"Son, you must marry Akane," Nodoka said firmly.
"Why's that?" Ranma asked.
"Because it's a matter of family honor," Nodoka said.
"Why should that concern me?" Ranma asked a little harshly.
"Son, it's not manly to disregard your family honor," Nodoka said, seeking to intimidate Ranma by fingering her katana.
"You're right, it would be, if I had a family," Ranma concluded. Dead silence rang through the room.
"From this day forward, I am no longer Ranma Saotome, heir to the Saotome school of Anything Goes Martial Arts," Ranma intoned. "I renounce the Saotome name and the obligations and titles that go with it. I am Ranma. I am ronin."
"Boy! Enough of this foolishness," Genma shouted. "You will marry Akane and you will carry on the schools."
"Tell ya what, you ol bastard," Ranma said to him evenly. "If you think you can stop me, then how about you try." He cracked his knuckles and Genma gulped and sat back down as Ranma's battle aura ignited, sending waves of energy rolling through the room. "I'm sick of being chained to everyone else's dreams. I'm going to follow my own. I'm leaving. Kasumi, thank you very much for you're hospitality. I'm sorry for any trouble I've caused."
Ranma went up stairs to pack his stuff.
"Ranma?" Akane said softly, having followed him.
"Yeah, Akane?" Ranma replied.
"You...you're really leaving?" she asked sadly, stepping up to him.
"Yeah, Akane, I am," Ranma said. Suddenly she threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly.
"Please don't go, Ranma," she pleaded, tears starting to roll down her face.
"I have to, Akane," Ranma said firmly, hugging her back.
"But I...I..." she stammered. He reached up and tapped the end of her nose.
"I know, Akane," Ranma said with a small smile. "Me too."
"But then why?" Akane asked tearfully.
"Because sometimes it ain't enough, Akane," Ranma said. "There's been too much interference. Too much hurting. Can you honestly say that you'd be happy married to me? Can you say that you wouldn't get jealous and mallet me every time a girl talked to me?"
Akane wanted to say that yes, they would be happy together and no, she wouldn't be jealous, but she couldn't. He was right. But losing him hurt so much. Seeing her answer, he smiled sadly and leaned down. He kissed her tenderly and wiped the tears off her cheeks.
"It'll be okay, Akane," he said. "You find someone to love." He gently pushed her away and picked up his pack. Taking her hand he led her toward the door where Ryoga stood. He handed her hand to the lost boy. "How about give Ryoga a chance. He's a good guy."
Ranma slipped past them and out of their lives.
Kaname Chidori looked at herself in the mirror. She smiled as she adjusted her new bikini thinking there was no way Sousuke would be able to not notice her in this. She struck a pose and flashed a victory sign. Giggling, she threw on a beach wrap and headed out.
As she approached the place she was supposed to meet Sousuke, she noticed that Melissa Mao and Kurz Webber were there. She groaned at the thought of having to deal with the full of himself Sgt Webber. She also noted that Sousuke wasn't there.
"Hi guys," Kaname chirped. "Where's Sousuke?"
The pair looked uncomfortable for a minute then covered it up, but not quickly enough.
"The captain had a special assignment for him," Melissa said cheerfully. "We're here to keep you company instead." Kaname's face fell.
"Oh, I see," Kaname said softly. "I've lost him, haven't I? She understands him better than I ever will. I guess I shouldn't be surprised."
"Hey, don't sweat it, babe," Kurz consoled. "After all, I'm here. Why would you want to hang out with that melancholy moron when you could hang out with me? Iteee!" Melissa removed her first from his head.
On board a certain submarine, a certain somber sergeant sneezed violently right before getting hit with a mallet from the heavens.
"You're not helping, Webber," Melissa said. "I'm sorry, Kaname. I really am. It's just that Tessa's approach of active pursuit finally got through to him."
"It's okay, Melissa," Kaname said with false cheer. "I guess it's my fault for waiting for him to notice me as a girl instead of a mission objective. I'm happy for them, really. Tessa is a really sweet girl. If I had to lose to someone, I'm glad it was her."
"Come on," Melissa said grinning, "let's hit the beach and drown those sorrows with some ice cream!"
A couple of hours later, the trio sat in the beach front ice cream shop while Kaname tucked into her third 'Death by Chocolate' ice cream.
"Say, Melissa," Kaname mentioned.
"Yeah?" the dark green haired sergeant asked.
"Do you think it would be possible for me to join Mithril?" Kaname asked. "I mean I am getting dragged into all those adventures and stuff all the time. And you guys are always having to be around to protect me. Wouldn't it be better if I was a part of the team and could take an active part in defending myself and others?" Melissa and Kurz looked at each other thoughtfully.
"I think that's a great idea, babe," Kurz said with a big smile.
"I don't know, Kaname," Melissa said. "I'll have to ask the brass, but I like the idea as well. The only down side I see is we won't get any more of these...passes...to come hang out with you here. I do know that we have a new batch of recruits starting training soon. So if you're serious, and the brass likes the idea, then you should be ready to leave."
"Thanks, Melissa," Kaname smiled.