A/N: This takes place roughly 10-15 years post-series, and Inuyasha and Kagome are in a committed, established relationship.
Inuyasha leaned casually against the well, tapping his long fingernails on the wood. There was quite a ruckus going on down there, and he suspected this would be interesting. "Are you injured?" he called out just to be safe, even though she smelled perfectly fine, if somewhat distraught.
"No," Kagome's voice echoed back to him, "but I—"
"Are you getting too old for this, perhaps? Maybe you should stay in your time, in one of those 'nursing homes,' I promise I'll visit you." A frustrated and enraged snarl was his answer. Barely stopping to wonder if she'd picked that up from him, he continued.
"Do you need my help, Kagome dear? Because unlike some people, I'm still young and—"
"Thanks for helping me, you jerk! Osuwari!" Kagome fumed, draped haphazardly over the lip of the well.
The subduing spell was of course completely useless without the rosary it activated. Inuyasha coolly examined his claws, annoying, infuriatingly vertical. "Tut-tut, Kagome, you know that's a bad word."
"Oh, that's a bad word, you halfwit half-breed?" Kagome said furiously, her words picking up pace. "Well, let me tell you something, (you edited to meet FCC standards) miscreant, cold-hearted, lazy, stupid stupid stupid (yah, censored again) stupid, stupid, nasty horrible person." With a long, loud huff, Kagome calmed down. "Oh yes. Can you do me a favor?" she asked, her face suddenly like the sweet and innocent schoolgirl he'd fallen in love with.
Inuyasha could only shake his head in amazement. "Were those words English?"
"Some of them," Kagome admitted, shifting her weight nervously.
Inuyasha paused, finally noticing something. "Oi, Kagome, what's with the bracelets?"
"These," Kagome gritted out slowly, "are not bracelets. They are handcuffs." She held her hands up to show him, and stretched the chain out.
"Oh," Inuyasha said, not understanding the full import of this. "Don't you think you should have taken them off before climbing the well shaft, then?" he asked, eyeing the 'handcuffs' dubiously.
"I," Kagome enunciated, "can't. That's what makes them handcuffs."
Inuyasha folded his arms. "Explain this."
"Okay," Kagome began. "See, in my time, we have policemen to help fight crime. They're a bit different from the kinds you have here, though. They use these handcuffs to restrain people. Now can you—"
"Let me understand this," Inuyasha said, his eye twitching. "A man did this to you. A man did this to my Kagome."
"Well, yes, but…"
"Then it is very simple," Inuyasha said, suddenly calm. Too calm. Dangerously calm. "I will find this man. And I will kill him. And I will—"
"No, no, Inuyasha!" Kagome cried, pulling desperately at Inuyasha's sleeves as he resolutely put a foot on the lip of the well. "You can't kill him! He's a human, and he was just doing his job! It was my fault, I was…"
Inuyasha's ears twitched. "Okay, Kagome. What did you do this time?"
"Um…" Kagome said, interlocking her fingers. "It was all perfectly innocent, you know. See, my friends wanted to take me to a baseball game…"
"Was Houjou there?" Inuyasha interrupted, his eyes narrowing.
"Oh, I wish," Kagome blurted out. Wilting somewhat under Inuyasha's expression, she backpedaled, saying, "Because he's such a great negotiator, you know? He would have been able to talk our way out of this."
"I'm more concerned about what Mr. Great Negotiator could talk his way into."
"Well anyway, he wasn't there. It was just me and some… ah, girls. Who like baseball. Right… so everything was going fine, until what do you know, I see a youkai in the stadium!"
"What!" Inuyasha exclaimed, suddenly concerned. "You told me that… yeah, wait, there are no youkai in your time, right? Just the ones we accidentally bring from here."
"Yeah," Kagome said. "You know, it worries me that you thought this through, and I didn't. But… heat of the moment! For all intents and purposes, there was a youkai staring me down, about to kill all my friends. So I…"
"Ah, hell," Inuyasha said, his hand to his head. "Not the shikigami."
"Just be happy I didn't have my bow on me," she said, clearly embarrassed. "So yes. I set loose the army of itty bitty paper men that I still had in my bag. (My friends came on short notice, and I didn't have time to clean it out.) Then I, um, lunged at the youkai a bit. You should have seen me, I was very brave."
Inuyasha patted her on the head. "I already know you're brave."
"It made so much sense at the time," Kagome sighed, shaking her head. "Naturally the police were a little concerned about the crazy woman throwing paper men around and attacking the team mascot. I think they got me on… 'creating a public disturbance,' and 'littering.' I'm lucky, it could have been assault."
"So then they put the handcuffs on you."
"So then they put the handcuffs on me," Kagome agreed, resting her head on Inuyasha's shoulder. "I'm having a very bad day, Inuyasha."
"Are they going to take them off?" Inuyasha inquired. "Or… is that the punishment?"
"Well, they would have taken them off, but I sort of escaped. The shikigami helped."
"Wouldn't it have been better to just stay and sort everything out?"
Kagome bit her lip. "I panicked."
"So," Inuyasha said, sizing up the situation, "here we are."
"Here we are," Kagome repeated. "With my über-strong honey about to take my handcuffs off, like I know he can," she added hopefully.
"I dunno," Inuyasha said, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "You never wear any jewelry. I think it's kind of sexy."
Kagome pouted. "Come on, Inuyasha, you can play your games later."
"Maybe I want to play my games now," he said, a naughty grin spreading across his face. He hooked a finger in the chain, and after pulling her to where he wanted her, kissed her.
"Oh," Kagome said, after a very nice kiss. "Oh. I had no idea you were into that, Inuyasha."
Inuyasha shrugged, not really sure what 'that' was.
A smile tugged at Kagome's mouth. "Okay. Once. And then these things come off."
"It's a promise," Inuyasha swore solemnly.
Hand in chained hand, they skipped off to find better accommodations. Perhaps everything has worked out for the best, Kagome thought with satisfaction. Her day was certainly looking up.