Okay...this is something random that TheMightyDucks (Duck Dodgers aka Star-of-Isis and Darkwing Duck aka Charlie-the-Pirate) made up in moments of blissful chocolate-eating and MSN-ing. We hope that you like our efforts! If not, please be sure to hit your head on the way out. Kidding, but please no flames unless they are VALID (as in severe OOC-ness) (and not just a case of "everything sucks today, I think I'll take it out on innocent writers") did I say innocent:smiles craftily:

So enough talk already, read and review!



Journal of Remus Lupin

Hogwarts School

September 1

First day of term. The Hogwarts Express ride is going rather well, except when we first got on that git Lucius Malfoy decided to pick on Evans. That didn't go off well with James, of course, but he didn't have his wand on him so he couldn't do anything about it.

Sirius gave Malfoy a very dirty look as he pushed James ahead of him into our compartment; I almost feel bad for Malfoy.


September 1, later that day

It was brilliant. Sirius put on this pair of whacking great boots that he got from his "uncle"—which means Mundungus stole them for him—and clomped up and down the length of the car as loudly as possible, shouting for the whole world to hear that Narcissa (his pretty-but-horrible cousin) and Lucius were in LOOOOVE and getting MARRIED and going to have LOOOOOOTTTTTS of kids (making sure to include the fact that they would all have Lucius's oversized nose), and...

That was about the time that Malfoy came out of his compartment, boiling mad, and yelled a curse. Sirius just held up his wand (how does he look so bloody casual when he does that?) and sent it back to Malfoy, whose entire body except for his head turned into some kind of enormous mosquito (I think). The best part? Prissy Narcissy came down the aisle a second later. You should have seen the look on her face, it was priceless. She started screaming bloody murder and Sirius walked off with the absolute biggest smirk on his face, even more than Malfoy's favorite expression...Malfoy was trying to undo the hex and yell for her to come back at the same time, it was brilliant...

I suppose I should feel bad that winning Narcissa Black's heart is the one thing Lucius Malfoy cares about, and that we, the Marauders, just ruined any chances of that for the next week at least, but...

The look on her face was absolutely priceless.



The SECRET Journal of Sirius Black, Esquire

Do not open on pain of death unless of course you are Sirius

Or James Potter, also Esquire

September 8

Potions is awful. At least James is in it; I seriously think I would die if I were in there by myself. Today that prissy pinch-nosed little worm of a professor, Madame Groozlestig, made us write 500 lines on the "delicate and infinitely exciting process" of making a standard sleeping draught. Delicate, possibly. To the other there is no polite comment.

Groozlestig. Ha. The first day of Potions, when she announced her name in that ridiculous voice of hers (how much more like a horse can you sound?), I snorted my pumpkin juice (which I nicked from the kitchens before class, I've got to have something to sustain me for two bloody hours, don't I?) all over the desk.

Yeah, that was a mistake. Three days of detention. Malfoy was laughing his head off. Booger Stick (James's nickname for her) didn't take points away from him. Bloody git. Not sure if I mean the teacher or Malfoy, either.

I'll get him back for that. James casually mentioned to me that Mr. I'm-the-greatest-Slytherin-that-ever-was is in need of some Potions tutoring. What an interesting development, eh, Lucius? Hmm...I'll need to go to Zonko's and see what they have in the way of enchanted parchment...

Signing off for now,

Sirius Black, Esq.

Note: I'm not really an "esquire", but the first-years believe it, which is just fine by me. I wonder if they'd believe it if I told them that I was really the son of a pirate? Nah, a little too loopy...I know! The long-lost prince of the Elves!


I am no longer allowed to speak to first-years unless it is "strictly school-related". Does this include selling answer sheets?

Later than first "later"

I am no longer allowed to make first-years my personal slaves in exchange for answer sheets (For a week! What's wrong with that?).

Reviews are very much appreciated!

Sirius: No fanmail, please...what? You all know how gorgeous I am!

Duck Dodgers: Yes, but that's beside the point.

Sirius: (ruffles perfect hair) Do you want to be a Marauder or not?

DD: I'm not already?

Darkwing Duck: What about me?

DDodgers: I thought you wanted to be the Phantom Pirate! Or something like that! Um...(makes hasty exit as Erik swoops down into everyone's midst and chaos ensues) Run away! Run away!