Disclaimer:The Stigmata people don't belong to me; the rights to Skittles still don't either. Tragic, huh? Anyway, this was just a crazy little idea. Hope you enjoy, and I hope no one resents their portrayal in here. **grin**
"Hello everyone, and welcome to this weeks session. I'm sure you all know why you're here… and if you're lost, I'll help you get where you belong. If you're a sex addict, go down the hall, first door on the right. Drug addicts are right next door. Internet addicts… well, you're hopeless. Just go home. If you need help plotting revenge against the people who canceled Xena, come back tomorrow."
After this little speech, 7 people are left. One speaks up. "Hey, this is for people who have a tendency to kill people, right?" Demon asks. "Uh… no. That would be called jail. It's right down the street." Demon jumps up and heads for the door. "Thanks!" Evil laughter is heard as she runs down the hall. "Well that was interesting. Anyway, in case you're new, or don't remember, my name is…" she pauses as a Skittle bounces off her head. Giggles are heard from the back. "My name is Linda. Retta won't be joining us this week. Gabs, please stop throwing Skittles. Thank you. Now, we have 2 new members this week. Everyone, please welcome Frankie and Andrew. Frankie, you're up. Can you please tell us how you became addicted?"
Frankie nods and moves to the front of the room. "Hello everyone," she begins. There is a chorus of 'hello' followed by an enthusiastic greetings from Gabs. "My name is Frankie Paige, and I'm 23 years old. I only recently became addicted. You see, I had been suffering from Stigmata, and I needed something to get me through it. It was easy to control at first- I guess it always is though- but then I became addicted. I just couldn't stop. It's my fault Andrew got hooked," she concludes. "Would you like to expand on that, Andrew?" He nods. Frankie takes a seat as he heads up to the front.
"My name is Andrew Kiernan. I'm a priest. As Frankie mentioned, she had stigmata. Cardinal Houseman sent me from the Vatican to Pittsburgh in order to investigate. My basic job description was traveling around the world, investigating miracles… and then disproving them. But I found out that my "friend" Houseman had been telling a series of lies for years. Then, he tried to kill Frankie. So, needless to say, I had a crisis of faith. When I went to see Frankie again, after she was cured of the stigmata, she told me what she used to relax. I decided it was worth a try; it worked. So I kept using, and I became addicted too." He sits down next to Frankie.
Linda nods in sympathy. "Thank you both for sharing. I'd like to introduce you to everyone else in the group. That's Smenzer…" Smenzer jumps up. "I'm not addicted! I just happen to like Skittles a lot!" She sits back down and Linda continues. "And Gabs…" Gabs waves her arms wildly. "I AM addicted! And you can't stop me! So there! Skittles rock!" She grins proudly. "And Milou…" Linda continues. "I still don't get why I'm here!" Milou looks confused. "Then Kim…" Kim laughs. "You shouldn't mix Wild Berry Skittles with pretty red juice," she informs everyone. "And finally, Sylvia…" Sylvia is glaring at Gabs suspiciously. "It's all her fault that I'm here!" she screeches. "We know Sylvia. You've already told us all your crazy ideas about this being nothing but a fan fic masterminded by Gabs," Linda says soothingly.
Frankie and Andrew exchange glances. "We wanted help getting off Skittles, not crazy hour with a bunch of loonies!" Frankie protests. Everyone but Andrew stares at her. Gabs bursts into laughter. "Not gonna happen!" she chants in a singsong voice. "I don't belong here!" Milou states. Sylvia throws a Skittle at Gabs, who becomes angry. "Don't waste them!" she screams. "Oh, but it's ok for you to throw them?" Sylvia demands suspiciously. "Well of course! I'm throwing Tropical; you're wasting Wild Berry!" Sylvia gives her another look. "How can you tell? All four varieties have green ones in them!" Gabs rolls her eyes. "Well duh! The Wild Berry smell different!" Kim giggles suddenly. "You can't trust your dog with your Skittles."
Linda checks to make sure Frankie and Andrew are still there. "I thought this was supposed to be therapy for the Skittles addicted?" Andrew calls. "Oh, it is! Just look at how therapeutic this atmosphere is!" Linda says. "I DON'T BELONG HERE!" Milou declares again. "And I'm not addicted! I'm not, I'm not, I'M NOT!" Smenzer insists as she pops a few more lime flavored Skittles into her mouth. "And you can't trust microwaves with Skittles either," Kim suggests. "Did you know that each bag is supposed to have a 20% distribution of each flavor? Gabs asks. "Gabs: Bearer of Useless Information," Sylvia notes. "That's me!" Gabs agrees proudly. She suddenly drops a Skittle and, with a shocked gasp, dives to the floor in search of it.
"This doesn't look at all therapeutic," Frankie tells Linda. Andrew shakes his head in agreement. "Why sure it is! Just look at how they support each other!" Linda argues. There is now an all out Skittles war between Gabs, Sylvia and Kim, as Milou continues to say that she doesn't belong there and Smenzer insists that she isn't addicted. Frankie sighs. "This isn't helping any," she says to Andrew. "No it isn't," he agrees. "Maybe they're right… maybe it is hopeless to try getting un-addicted," Frankie suggests. "No. There has to be a way. We'll find it," Andrew says with conviction. "Well, whatever that way is, we won't find it here. At least, not today. Let's go." Andrew nods and they slip out the door amidst a barrage of Skittles.
On the way down the hall, they pass Demon, who is brandishing a sword and chasing a nurse. Suddenly, they hear Milou behind them. "Wait for me! I don't belong here! Take me with you!" Frankie and Andrew exchange glances and sprint for freedom.
Is this the end? Or should there be a part 2, starring Frankie and Andrew again, along with some new (and famous!) faces, like Sylvia Plath, Plato and more? Let me know what you think.
Send any and all comments and such to