Confessions of a Marauder

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On his seventeenth birthday, James Potter receives a diary from his best friend, for the sole reason that it was on sale. Soon, he finds himself pouring his thoughts and dreams into it, and beginning to realize his true feelings for Lily Evans. A funny diary, read!

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Let's get one fact straight. This line is supposed to be menacing, but you can't exactly write in a menacing manner.

James Potter is not a pushover.

Alright, so I'm sitting on a chair, handing out home-baked cookies and pamphlets while my girlfriend is making a passionate speech on the rights of magical creatures, e.g. house-elves. And I know that I'm supposed to be coolest guy in Hogwarts, which I am, and that no self-respecting bloke would be caught in my position.

However, my girlfriend informed me yesterday that I would be "volunteering" to help her today, so here I am.

Great. A huge gaggle of girls just passed by me, giggling.

Girls may say that they like sensitive guys, but no girl really means it. They all want the typical bad-boy-type who exudes indifference. Apparently, this makes girls long to get under his skin and force him to care about her.

Psh. I don't care, anyhow, seeing as how I have a perfectly beautiful and nice girlfriend who's also been the love of my life, or at least the past seven years.

Anyways, I'm not too chuffed about wasting a perfectly good Saturday evening, but Lily's really into all this, so I figured I'd play the role of a supporting boyfriend.

She was so pleased, she started snogging me in the middle of the Great Hall during breakfast. All the students were gaping at us; apparently, everyone still thought she hated me. No one knew she was just in denial.

"James?"

Lily smiled at me, "James, I really appreciate you helping out with the cause."

I popped a still-warm cookie in my mouth, chewing blissfully, "No problem. Always glad to assist my gorgeous girlfriend."

"Not to mention you get to be around cookies all day." Lily dryly commented.

Shrugging, I agreed, "That too."

"Anyways, I think my speech was really powerful today. Fifteen students signed up for a rally outside of the Ministry. You're coming too, aren't you?"

Er…

Well, I'd have to suffer in the cold wind of December, outside, walking around, waving a sign in the air. Let's add the fact that house-elves probably don't even want the rights I'd be doing all this for, and you come up with the fact that doing this is completely pointless.

Yeah. Not fun.

"Um, I might have Quidditch practice. You know, Gryffindor being in first place and all." Thank Merlin for Dumbledore making me Captain. I can now schedule practices whenever I want.

Rolling her eyes, Lily asked, "So you won't rally with me because your arse might freeze off, but when it comes to playing Quidditch in the same weather, you're all for it?"

McGonagall always fell for that one. Then again, I doubt anyone cares more than her about Gryffindor winning. Even though she pretends to care less, you know she probably polishes the trophy every day in her office.

"Well, it sounds horrible when you say it like that. I prefer to think of it as me having different priorities than you." I defensively stated.

Lily laughed, "Yeah, I know. Anyways, it's cool that you like Quidditch so much. I mean, I could have it worse, right? I could have a sex-addict for a boyfriend."

Now would not be a good time to mention my dream from last night.

"Yeah, lucky you." I coughed.

Running a hand through her red hair, Lily softly asked, "Did you talk to Sirius yet?"

Frowning, I remembered last night. I had used our two-way mirrors to talk to Sirius. He was right miserable at home; his mum was constantly on his case to join the Dark Side, his father was in Azkaban for making the mistake of listening to his Mum, Regulus was still refusing to listen to Sirius and leave the Dark Side, and Kreacher was going mad.

Sirius seriously told me, "I'm going to run away, James. I swear, if I have to hear about how Voldemort is the best thing that ever happened since Salazar Slytherin, I'm going to bash someone."

"You're only sixteen, Sirius! Where would you go?" I demanded, worried.

Shiftily, Sirius responded, "I thought I'd go to your place, actually. Not for long—my sick uncle told me he was leaving me a fortune in his will. He's a decent guy, but Mum hates him. Calls him a 'Mudblood-lover'."

Typical Mrs. Black behavior.

"Yeah…yeah, that's cool. Mum adores you, Padfoot. My parents will take you in, no worries." I smiled reassuringly at him through the mirror.

Sirius stared back, his eyes seeming darker than usual, "You've got it made, Prongs. Great parents, great girlfriend, great grades, Quidditch Captain. There's you—and there's me. I'll probably just die during a battle and no one will even care. But that's how I want to die. I want to die doing something worthwhile, not hiding from Deatheaters or on a bed, like my Uncle. I want to die alive."

Even his words were darker. The night he almost killed Snape, a part of Sirius died. The part that was childlike, the part with the barking laughter and handsome smirks. The part who indulged in flying motorcycles and dating random girls. The part who used to be my best friend.

He had changed into a darker stranger that I didn't recognize.

At the same time, I still caught a glimpse of his old nature. For some reason, he still hated Snape, even after knowing what he did. A hatred that was sixteen years old didn't die easily. I believed that Sirius would always hate Snape. Snape represented the Dark Side for him, especially since he was the one to snatch Regulus away from him.

Snape was just everything Sirius feared in human form. Snape was an unloved outcast, radiating towards the Dark Side, power-hungry and cruel. Basically, Sirius was afraid of that he might become like Snape in the future.

It was reassuring to hate him because it insured that Sirius would never be tempted into joining the Dark Side and becoming like Snape.

"Yeah, I talked to Sirius. He's…weird. It's like I don't know him anymore." I answered Lily's question.

Lily stared at me, "Do you still trust him? More than Remus and Peter?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do. Sirius…he's loyal. He'd never, ever go against his friends, no matter how much he's changed. We're everything for him, he has no one else but us."

Wistfully, Lily sighed, "I wished I had a friend like that. None of the girls really understand me, and we aren't really friends, more like someone to talk to during classes and meals."

I smiled, "Remus and Sirius are your friends. They love you, you know. More than any girl I've ever known."

Lily snorted, "Please. Sirius hates me. Of course, he's entitled to it, seeing as how I was a complete idiot earlier this year. I can't believe I accused him of being a Deatheater. And Remus is…quiet. I could never imagine opening up to him, it seems like he's unreachable, someone I'll never understand."

Lightly, I commented, "Remus has an unhappy life, so he likes to distance himself from others. But he's a good guy, really."

I watched Lily nod in agreement and wondered briefly about Peter. He was so dependable. Not in a good way, though, since he just followed whoever would protect him. But I trust him because he understands that I've done a lot for him- more than anyone else.

I suppose in all of my friends, I'd probably trust Sirius and Peter more than Remus. Remus was a bit distanced, and I was never sure of what he was thinking. Like Lily said, he was unreachable. And it's understandable, since he has problems that I couldn't dream of dealing with. But still.

Ashamed, I realized I was falling into the trap of discriminating against werewolves. At the same time, I reminded myself that werewolves were hardly ever loyal or good.

I wanted to trust Remus, but I couldn't.

"So, James, you're coming to Hogsmeade with me, right?"

Smiling, I turned to Lily and kissed her soundly. After six years, she was mine. After six years of begging her to come with me on one date, she wanted my company.

A lot changed this year, but that's probably the best change of my life.

The second best? Realizing how everyone has faults, like Lily. And how everyone has merits as well, like Snape.

And I seriously have to thank Sirius for this diary. I hate to admit it, but writing in one grows on you until you cannot live without the hardcover, dragon-skin book.

I guess this diary had taught me not to judge a book by its cover.

Pun fully intended.

I am a Marauder, after all.

A Marauder in love.


Author's Notes

OK. This story is officially done.

HOWEVER, before you start flaming me, I've also decided to do random one-shots based on this story. They'll be short and quick, and little snippets of their future.

The first one's out already: Confession of a Marauder in Love.

Right now, I'll be working solely on Breaking Free and Depruding. I'll start working on Confessions of Oblivious Head Girl after those are finished. Crime and Punishment will probably have a chapter up in a month or so, but not too regular. I don't really like it, actually.

Depruding has only three chapters or so left, it's a short one.

Anyways, read the Round Robin under the penname: The Round Robin Ducklings. The title is Fork in the Eye.

That's pretty much it!

PLEASE review this one last chapter for CoM! I'm really sad this is over, since this is probably my favorite story that I've done.

My baby's all grown up….

Anyways, quick shout out to MissCheviousHP and Tracey! You two are the best reviewers EVER!

And I can't forget Angelic Chocolate Fairy, animerocksjapanrocks, The Big Dance, jeevesandwooster, ellieo, SerenityRose016, LJ Fan, Danu3, SweetRomanceGirl, Goddess of the MaaN, Captain Arianna Trouble, AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO EVER REVIEWED!


You guys rock, seriously. I can NOT believe I broke 270. Let's break 300, hint hint.


Anyways, REVIEW and write to you later. Drop me an email if you're bored.

Kisses,

Celina Black