Chapter 1: Who the Hell are You?

Today I was thinking about what it would be like if Kira and Cagalli had a distant cousin and how Cagalli would react to a little boy who thought she was his mother. Enjoy and review please!

Kira Yamato waited at the airport for his cousin to arrive. He wasn't sure what relation this cousin had to him or whether or not they were a guy or a girl. All he knew was that they were coming in from Tokyo and that things probably wouldn't end well.

Cagalli had just gotten out of a taxi and was running frantically. She had slept in late and was about thirty minutes late.

Damn! Cagalli thought as she busted through the doors of the airport. How could I've forgotten about our cousin coming in? This is definitely not good!

Cagalli sprinted down the hallways, knocking over several security guards and helpless old ladies. After upturning several luggage racks and five more old people, she ran into a little boy who thought she was his mother.

"Mommy!" the boy yelled with glee. He immediately latched himself onto Cagalli's leg.

Cagalli sweatdropped and said, "Kid, I think you have the wrong person. I can't be your mommy. I'm only seventeen! Now let go of my leg! You're cutting off my circulation!"

"Mommy!" the boy exclaimed again.

"Kid, I am not, I repeat, am not your mother!" Cagalli yelled, shaking her leg. "Heavenly Father, please help me!" Cagalli looked up at the ceiling longingly.

Meanwhile, at the gate, Kira eyeballed the people, looking for anyone who would seem like his cousin. Nothing. That was until a tall girl of about seventeen with short purple-and-black hair popped out of nowhere.

"Are you Kira Yamato?" the girl asked.

"Yeah," Kira replied. "And I take it you're my cousin?"

"Yup! Name's Hikaru, don't wear it out," Hikaru said, stretching out her hand.

Kira just stared at Hikaru's hand as if it were something out of a garbage can. This was supposed to be his cousin. This newcomer from Tokyo seemed scary, if anything. Kira was sure that things were going to go wrong now.

"Why are you staring at my hand like that?" Hikaru asked. "Haven't you ever given someone a handshake before? You're weird."

Cagalli then came running towards Kira and Hikaru with difficulty, seeing as the little kid was clinging to Cagalli's leg like a dog would cling to a person who was sprayed with doe in heat urine. So, you can guess that Cagalli was in a very uncomfortable position.

"Help me!" Cagalli shouted at the two. "This kid thinks that I'm his mommy and he won't let go of my leg! Don't just stand there like an idiot, Kira!"

That's all Kira could do, stand there like an idiot. He was totally lost as to why any little kid would think Cagalli was their mother. It did not compute.

Later on that day...

"I still can't believe I'm the mother figure for this kid," Cagalli said grumpily.

The trio were sitting at a heated table at home, with the little kid still idolizing poor Cagalli. Hikaru stared at the kid with fright. She had never seen any kid as obsessed as this one over one person. Kira was the one trying to lift the spirits of the room.

"He scares me," Hikaru said.

"Cheer up, you two! It could be worse," Kira said, not really meaning it.

"Don't say that, Kira!" Hikaru shouted, covering Kira's mouth. "Whenever you say that things are bound to get worse! Don't you ever pay attention? It's basically an unwritten law!"

"What's this kid's name, anyway?" Cagalli asked, plucking feathers out of his hair.

"How did he get those feathers in his hair?" Hikaru asked.

"Hell, I don't know," Cagalli said. "I don't even know who he is. I've never seen him before in my pathetic life."

"What's your name?" Kira asked the boy.

He grinned obnoxiously and said in an equally obnoxious volume, "TIMMY!"

Hikaru stared for about thirty seconds and mused, "So what do we do with Timmy," putting emphasis on his name.

"Kick him out?" Cagalli suggested.

"We can't do that, Cagalli," Kira said, patting Timmy on the head reluctantly. "Don't forget, you're the one who brought him here in the first place. Until we know who his legal guardians are, we can't let him wander the streets on his own. It'd be cruel."

"Then what the hell can we do?" Cagalli questioned her know-it-all brother. "He's definitely not staying here! We've already got Hikaru!"

Hikaru shot Cagalli a dirty look and asked sarcastically, "Why do I take offense to that last remark?"

"He has to stay here," Kira said, ending the argument.

"You do know what this means, don't you?" Cagalli warned. "This means you'll have to be his uncle figure, and you'll be the aunt figure, Hikaru."

"Why me?" Hikaru complained. "That's no fair! I don't want him to stay either! Regardless, I'm just visiting. That's not being very considerate. Meanie." Hikaru stuck her tongue out at Cagalli childishly.

"I want ice cream. Mommy! I want ice cream!" Timmy cried.

"Do we have any ice cream? If we do, he can have it all," Cagalli said, walking towards the kitchen.

"Why all of it? That's not a very good idea," Kira said.

"I'm not paying his health and dental bills, dammit," Cagalli snorted. "Might as well keep him happy if we're gonna be stuck with him."

Kira could do nothing but sigh as his irresponsible sister came back into the living room with a spoon and a tub of chocolate ice cream.

"Dig in, brat," Cagalli said. She sat back down and turned on the TV, looking for something interesting to watch.

"Yummy!" Timmy exclaimed, shoveling mountains of ice cream into his mouth at a time.

Cagalli glanced at Timmy through the corner of her eye and smiled slightly. The little kid was actually kind of entertaining to her.

"What are your parents going to say about this little terror?" Hikaru asked. "Send him away, I hope?"

"I knew this wouldn't end well," Kira said grimly.

"Buck up, french fry," Hikaru said, patting Kira heavily on the back. "It's still early in the game."

Chapter 1 finished! I had fun writing this one! Please review!