Based on the book 'I Will Survive' by Samantha Connolly.

Summary: AU When mild-mannered librarian Hermione Granger ends up as a finalist in the hot reality show called Survive This!, her whole world is turned upside down. How will she survive being 'stranded' on a tropical island with the host, Draco Malfoy - not her favorite person in the world - and two other contestants, along with a scheming producer and secret cameras? Well, with her book knowledge, smarts and ever-growing confidence, you might be surprised. DHr

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to me. No, really. -Is shot- Just kidding... HP and all its characters belong to JK Rowling... Julia, Laurie, Alex and any other characters I say so belong to me. The rest (i.e Kenny), plus the plot, belong to Samantha Connolly.


Chapter One


"Is this a nightgown?" Hermione Granger raised an eyebrow at the woman sitting at the table. "Because it sure looks - and feels - like one."

Julia tutted. "Of course not. This is the outfit you'll be wearing for the show. Besides, it looks great on you."

Personally, Hermione had to agree with her. The lacey dress clung to all the right places and flared out at the hem, which went to her knees. It was pale blue and contrasted starkly with her curly brown hair. "Right. Thanks. But you can't be serious about me wearing this for 14 days. On an island."

As if to prove a point, the yacht wobbled as it sailed over a wave and she tottered on her five-inch stilettos, coming dangerously close to twisting both ankles.

"I'm serious," Julia said flippantly, waving a hand. "If it tears, it'll motivate you to make your own clothes. And anyway, how many people choose what they wear before their boat sinks and they're washed up on a deserted beach?"

"You have a point there," Hermione admitted grudgingly. "But still..."

The other woman sighed and picked up a thick stack of papers. "It says here, that the contestant has to abide to whatever the producer asks - within reason." She jabbed a manicured finger at the first page. "I thought I'd need this page. Here, Section five, part two. Read it."

Hermione read it carefully before putting it down, defeated. "OK. I'll wear it." She looked around wildly for a second. "Where's my backpack, with all my survival items?"

Julia frowned. "Backpack? You think a normal civilian will carry a backpack full of supplies every time they go for a ride on a cruise ship? Where do you come from, anyway?"

"Alright, alright," Hermione snapped, more than a little annoyed at the producer's manner. "What supplies do I get then? Nothing?"

"That handbag over there contains all you're supposed to have. Remember, you're on a cruise ship and it suddenly sinks, leaving you to swim for the nearest shore - that's the story, anyway." Julia glanced at her watch. "We're nearly there. Get yourself ready. I'm going to have a chat with Kenny, the cameraman who'll be filming you most of the time." She nodded her head at a small cupboard in the corner. "Your backpack is there, by the way, if you want to try and stuff anything into the handbag." With that, she left.

Hermione walked over to the table where a tiny handbag with sequins sewed on glittered. She unclasped it and looked inside. A bottle of expensive perfume lay inside, along with a compact, a tube of lipstick, and a couple of condoms.

She tried not to roll her eyes and failed.

"This is useless," she muttered. Taking the top off the perfume bottle, she emptied its contents into the sink nearby and rinsed it. She filled it with clean water - much more useful. She didn't really want to try drinking perfume if she was in an emergency. With the lipstick, she snapped it off at the base and stuffed twelve waterproof matches from her backpack where the lipstick had been. Perfect fit. She grabbed a small Swiss Army knife and stuffed it inside, taking out the compact and replacing it with a small mirror.

There was still room left. She took out a tiny sewing kit, compass and sunscreen from her backpack. I'll definitely need those, she thought as she tucked them in.

Finally, she looked at the condoms. She told herself that they didn't really take up any space and threw them back inside the bag. Satisfied, she clicked the handbag closed and walked out onto the deck of the yacht.


There were more people on board than she'd initially thought. Most were cameramen, Julia explained. She introduced Hermione to Kenny, who was a brunette like her, and had straight hair that reached to the nape of his neck. He wore sunglasses and took them off as he shook her hand. She liked his twinkling green eyes and was glad at least the main cameraman would be a friend.

She knew one person that definitely wouldn't be.

The host, Draco Malfoy.

Hermione recalled what had possessed her to apply for this reality show in the first place.

Oh yeah.

She'd always liked watching the show Survive This!, even if the man who explained the survival tips in the harsh climates every week - jungle, desert, snow - was her childhood enemy. Most of her friends loved him. She had to admit he was very charming and funny on TV. If only they knew what a bastard he is off camera, she thought viciously.

When applications for a place in the show came to her city, she'd sent in a filled-out form, her picture and other details that they'd wanted. She hadn't expected to get in. So imagine her surprise when a verification letter was sent to her letterbox one sunny Saturday. Her mouth had flapped open like a fish and she'd nearly punched the air in excitement.

Now, after seeing what she was allowed to take, and what she would have to wear, the excitement had died down a bit.

Well, she supposed it would be just a bit of fun.

"OK, here's the drill," Julia announced. Everyone quieted and watched the producer as she spoke. "Hermione, we'll take you to about 200 metres away from shore, and you'll swim to the island. You do know how to swim, right?" She raised a questioning eyebrow at Hermione, who nodded. "Good. The rest of us will follow you as you swim. Kenny will be filming you, so when we ask you, try to look like you're struggling to keep your head above water."

Hermione rolled her eyes again. She was an excellent swimmer; it would be hard pretending to be a flailing idiot. "Alright."

Ten minutes later, she was lowered into the ocean. The water was fairly warm, it being a sunny day, but it was still colder than she would have liked. At least the flimsy dress and shoes didn't drag her down as much as her normal clothes - shirt, jeans - would have. Hermione quickly did a few warmup strokes and felt her muscles relax. Ahh, this was the life. She had a sexy outfit, and she was about to spend two weeks on paradise island with a handsome guy. Too bad it's Draco, she thought, the idea shattering her fantasy.

About three-quarters of the way to the beach, she felt her handbag slip away from her. "Shit," she muttered as it floated slowly downwards. She was still quite a way away from shore, and if she lost her bag here she would never see it again. Fumbling, she fished for the bag and felt its sequined surface brush her fingers. Sighing, she dived underwater and opened her eyes. The bag was caught on her heel. Carefully, she raised her foot, splashing around a bit with her hands. Finally she managed to unhook the strap and grab her supply bag.

At that moment strong arms grabbed her around the waist and started swimming towards shore. "Hey! What gives!" she screeched as she was towed along. She flailed her arms (like she was meant to) in an attempt to get away, but her captor only took this as a sign of maidenly distress and tightened his grip.

Minutes later, both of them crawled onto the shore. Hermione had given the man a beating on the back the best she could, and the man had struggled to keep her afloat along with trying to endure her blows. When she turned to glare at the guy she found herself looking into angry icy eyes. "Hermione... what the fuck were you doing?"

She sighed. "Oh. Draco. I didn't know it was you. Sorry." Actually, she had noticed his white-blonde hair, but wasn't too sure if it was him. Now when she looked back on what had happened, it seemed so obvious. How many men on the show had hair a color like his?

"Just be glad I rescued you," he hissed, but then started smiling pleasantly. "So are you alright, Hermione?"

Hermione frowned. What the... Then she noticed the camera beside her and forced a smile onto her own face. "I'm fine. I didn't really need your help. Really. I was just, uh, waving hello."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Will you quit being so bloody stubborn? You were drowning and we all knew it."

"I told you, I was not drowning. My bag got caught on my stilettos and I had to retrieve it."

"What happened to the waving story?" he said sarcastically, and at that moment Hermione's eyes fell on a familiar glittering shape in the sand.

"My bag!" she cried, running the best she could past him and grabbing it. "Thank God." She stuffed the Swiss army knife, which had fallen out, back in and put in everything else that had floated off.

"Don't forget these," a voice said behind her. She turned around slowly, her eyes following his long legs up to his face. Draco smirked, holding up the condoms. Hastily, her face burning, she snatched them off him. She wanted to throw herself into the sea in embarassment, but remembered what she was here for. The prize at the very end of the two weeks. One million dollars. She steeled herself and stalked off.

Vaguely behind her she heard Julia asking if Kenny had gotten all that on camera. She shook her head. What a great start to her stay in paradise.


As soon as she got away Hermione took off her shoes. Her feet hurt and she'd only been wearing these for about an hour. Sighing in relief as her bare feet touched cool sand, she looked up and spotted two people walking towards her. They must be the other two contestants, she thought to herself.

The first one to get to her was a blonde woman with a short pixie haircut. She had large blue eyes and a heart shaped face. She was a few inches shorter than Hermione, but instead of the latter making the blonde feel short, Hermione felt gangly and tall. She held out a hand. "Hi, I'm Hermione Granger. Nice to meet you."

The woman took her hand. "I'm Laurie Wakefield. Nice dress," she added. "You're lucky you were allowed to wear what you wanted."

Hermione grimaced. "Actually, I was forced to wear this. I'd have settled for something like what you have on," she said, nodding enviously at Laurie's long-sleeved shirt and khaki 3/4 pants.

"Wow," Laurie exclaimed. "We have totally opposite tastes in clothes. Wanna swap? It couldn't hurt to have some sexy clothing on before I see Draco again."

"Sure," Hermione answered. "I have no intention of impressing him, sexy clothing or not." At that moment the other person came puffing to join them.

"What a long run," he said, gasping. "I need to get more exercise." The man turned to Laurie. "What were you, a marathon champion?" he demanded. "That was a full mile we just ran, and you don't even look puffed!" Facing Hermione again, he introduced himself as Alexander Huberts. "Call me Alex, please," he said, making a face. "I hate it when people say my full name. It's like a curse, everywhere I go I hear people saying 'Alexannnnnnder...' Urgh, creepy."

"Sure, Alexander," Laurie said, smiling innocently.

Hermione giggled. These people might actually be fun to be around. At least it'd take off some of the strain of being around Draco all the time. "Oh, come on, Laurie. Let's not provoke Alexander too much." She laughed when Alex glared at them and kicked sand at their feet.

"You know, I'm not in this for the money," Laurie admitted a while later, after they'd explained their backgrounds and how they'd gotten into this show.

Alex laughed. "Suuure. We believe you!"

Laurie giggled helplessly. "Honest! I'm in it for the fame. I want to be an actress and this kind of publicity is just what I need to get started in Hollywood." She twirled a lock of blonde hair as she spoke. "I've done small parts in movies here and there, but it would be awesome if I could play a starring role in a movie. As in one directed by someone famous, or at least has already caught a lot of attention."

Hermione nodded. "I'd wanted to be an actress since I was five, but I gave up on the dream a couple of years back when I got a part in the school play as a tree."

The other two burst into hysteric laughter.

"What?" she asked, pretending to be cross. "I mean, sure, I didn't have any lines, but at least I looked good as the scenery."

Alex wiped his eyes. "Ah, haven't had a good laugh in ages. I work as an accountant. It's an awfully boring job, if you didn't know already. I wanted to do this to prove that I could. Let's just say I'm earning respect for bookworms and accountants from all over the world."

Hermione wanted to say that she herself was a bookworm, but that would probably spur Alex on to win even more. "So I'm the only one here for the money? Then let's just say I'm the winner right here and now. Saves us all the backstabbing and betrayal at the end."

Laurie smiled. "I wish, but I need the money to jump-start my career." She winked. "An extra million dollars never hurt anybody."

"A one and six zeros," Alex said dreamily. "If I win that I could propose properly to my girlfriend."

"Oooh, how romantic," the girls cooed. Seeing that they were interested, or at least pretending to be, Alex searched around his jeans' pockets and produced, with a flourish, a small passport-sized photo of a couple smiling amiably into the camera. Hermione leaned in for a better look and saw Alex and a raven-haired young woman that appeared a few years older than her own twenty two years. "She's pretty," she said truthfully. Laurie nodded her agreement as she took a look.

Alex beamed and tucked the photo carefully back into his pocket. "Really? You're probably wondering how a beauty like her decided to go out with a guy like me," he said remorsefully.

Laurie shrugged. "Actually, I'm not that surprised." She pinched his arm playfully. "See? You have biceps. I'm not going to look but I'm guessing that the rest of you is just as well-toned," she commented, making him turn pink with pleasure. "Plus you have a nice smile. So yeah. You two make a great couple."

Alex wouldn't be on the World's Most Eligible Bachelors list anytime soon, but he wasn't too shabby when it came to looks. Hermione glanced at him and noted his messy, almost black, hair. He wore glasses but instead of making him look geeky, she was reminded fondly of Harry. And Harry was definitely not a geek. He's probably escaping some girl's attentions right now, she thought, grinning. The rest of her thought, halfway across the Atlantic Ocean, was discarded hastily. She didn't want to feel homesick right now.

"What are you smiling at?" Laurie wanted to know. "Don't tell me you've found a way to kick one of us off the island."

"Course not," Hermione retorted. "I've only met you and you seem like nice people. I'm not like that." It was true; both seemed friendly enough, straightfoward as Laurie was. Alex had a genuinely kind air about him and Laurie seemed like the type to remain friends until she absolutely had to betray you in order for her to gain the upper hand. Other than that, Hermione could tell she would enjoy her time here - until the last day.

"That's good," said Alex. "I want to stay here as long as possible. It's been a great first day." Hermione was confused for a moment before remembering that Alex and Laurie had come a day before her. "We got to make our own fire and stuff. It was so cool." His eyes gleamed in excitement. Hermione smiled. When it came to survival, Alex was like a little kid, always trying to learn new things and being very enthusiastic while he was at it.

"Sounds awesome," she said.

"What's awesome?" a familiar voice, mid-range for a man's, said behind her. His breath brushed her ear and she twitched.

"Nothing," Hermione muttered as she turned around and saw Draco about an inch from her own face. Quickly she stepped back, stumbling a little. She ignored Draco's barely suppressed snigger, which he attempted to conceal with a very fake-sounding cough. Laurie fluttered her lashes at him questioningly.

Julia and Kenny joined them shortly after, the latter with a large tripod and a video camera to fit onto it. She sighed as Julia launched into a speech, again reminded of the unwelcome fact that they would be filmed every minute of their time here, short of capturing videos of them doing their business in the loo - or in a ditch.

This was going to be long two weeks.


My first attempt at not writing a funny fic (and multi-ficcing). XD Please comment and tell me if it was good or not. I'll probably finish this regardless of reviews (since it's based on a book), but if they're all flames I'll probably trash this...

Note that no, I have not given up on 10WtKDM, I am just trying out this idea. Also this fic will probably be updated less frequently than the aforementioned other fic. Just so you know. :D

Review review review!