A/N: This was written as a response to a drabble challenge from Meg on my Livejournal. She wanted mumblycrack!Shinji, and got...this. I like to think I succeeded on some level.
"...so stupid...no songs that I've heard of...too perky...too fast...too New Age...remixes of Mozart. No shame...where do they get their listings from? Maybe advertising companies pay them to put their clients' songs in...couldn't sell them anywhere else...really, so stupid...who thought this up, anyway..."
Shinji stared impassively at the game's screen, watching the arrows soar by without a twitch of motion. Kamio, clinging to the bar behind him, suffered in (mildly) silent agony as his beloved game was abused.
"Shinji, just dance!" he begged. Pleaded. Beseeched, really. "Follow the arrows!"
"...it's not like you can't just dance to the songs on your own...could probably come up with better steps than this...just left and right and up and down...so limiting. So stupid. Can't imagine why it's so popular..."
Kamio looked ready to fling himself over the bar and start to forcibly make Shinji enjoy himself. And stop the besmirching of his beloved. Alas, he could not bring himself to do so--what if he bent the bar? He hung his head, sighed, and willed himself not to cry.
"...what was that...two arrows at once...suppose that meant I was supposed to use both feet...or both hands...or a hand and a foot, perhaps...oh well. Ah, missed it again...oh well. Might have been nice of them to have notes telling you when you're supposed to use both feet...very inconsiderate..."
The song ended, and Shinji finished with a spectacular "E" (avoiding an "F" only by the experimental poke he had given one of the arrows at the start). Kamio collapsed to the arcade floor with a wail of agony, silent sobs racking his form. Shinji padded off of the pad silently, gazing down at the redhead.
"...so dramatic...no need for that...your turn, anyway...I'm all done."
Kamio crawled onto the pad, wiping his face on his shirt. He dragged himself up to give a soft kiss to the game screen.
"It's all right, I'm here." Kamio cuddled the machine briefly before switching the difficulty to Heavy and cueing up "Pink Dinosaur."
Shinji watched Kamio for a few moments, shaking his head.
"...really...much more entertaining to watch..."