Author's Note: Just a little bit more craziness from me. This fic stands alone, but I suggest you read 'The Pancake Episode' first to understand my madness! Read and review my lovelys!

Disclaimer: I don't own it. Don't sue.

Gundams On the High Seas
By The 41st Magaunac AKA Muse of Arabia

"Aah, get a breath of that fresh air! Doesn't it make you feel great to be alive?" Quatre leant over the bar on the pier, looking down into the blue water beneath him.

"I can't believe your asking that question to someone who spends 97% of his waking hours considering his own death," replied Duo, referring to their suicidal companion, who merely glared at them and went back to his reading.

"It is nice to get a little free time for once though," added Trowa, checking his watch. "The boat ought to be getting here pretty soon."

"This is so exciting! I've never been on a real, repaired pirate ship before!" said Duo, hopping up to stand on the bench. "Hey! How about I come up with really cool pirate aliases for us!"

There was a resounding 'no' from the 4 other Gundam pilots, but Duo was by now completely oblivious.

"Uhh... Long John Yuy? Nah... Cabin Boy Heero? Hmm... nah. Ooh, I know! Long John Spandex!"

There was a cool swish as the knife shot through the air, hacking a good inch off the end of Duo's braid, and planting itself in the wooden pier floor.

"I should be quiet now?"

***

Heero Yuy already had a serious migraine by lunch time. The occupants of the ship were all putting on extremely bad and unconvincing pirate accents, and he swore that if he heard 'fopple of gear' from one more fake parrot, he was going to kill hims... (damn, already tried that) Someone else.

Of course, it didn't help that Duo was getting really into this whole pirating charade. He had adopted the persona of 'One eyed Shinigami, the scourge of the seven seas', ever since a rather-too-friendly pirate had handed him a fake eye-patch. After an intensive course in 'How to speak pirate', a lecture from Quatre on why it is a bad idea to point guns at tour guides, and a long debate about why Swiss cheese has holes in (he blamed Duo for that one) he was just about ready to crack.

"The last stop on our tour," said the (now very nervous) tour guide, "is the brig. This is where many a seafarer would be tortured to death, and sometimes left to rot during his time at sea. If supplies were particularly low, he would sometimes be eaten."

"Are you all right with all of this, Quatre?" Trowa whispered to him. "I know you don't like cruelty."

Quatre snapped a shot of a fake bloodied corpse with his Kodak camera, and turned back to Trowa. "Well actually, it's true that I disagree with cruelty to animals, but this kinda thing doesn't bother me too much. Cannibalism never really came into it. In fact, I recently set up a charity to help animals, wanna see a pin?"

Trowa looked confused as Quatre flipped open his waist coat to reveal a large pin on the inside. It read:

'Save a cow. Eat a vegetarian.'

"... Very nice," replied Trowa, edging away thinking, 'Smile and nod, just smile and nod...'

"Is this tour over now?" asked Heero, folding his arms. "I have better things to do with my time than wonder around leaky old ships and looking at fake corpses. I see enough of those on my own."

"What does he mean?" asked the 'boson'.

"He's just kidding around of course!" said Duo, trying to laugh, punching Heero on the shoulder. "You're such a kidder, eh buddy?"

The next thing Duo saw was a fist, and then lots of little Deathscythes flying round and round his head. The last thing he heard was, "Don't punch me... and never call me 'buddy'.

***

Trowa, who was getting a little tired of all the insanity in the brig, had made his way on to the top deck. He leaned over the edge and looked down into the deep blue sea which surrounded the boat, and the little dolphins who were now in hot pursuit. It was a nice enough place to be, but you wouldn't wanna spend more than a few hours in the company of the other pilots... otherwise insanity would ensue. Always.

He was just about to head to the stern of the boat when he caught sight of a white shape head past out of the corner of his eye.

'Wufei? Now, I wonder where he's going...' thought Trowa, heading off in quiet pursuit.

Whatever he was doing, Wufei was pretty careful about making sure he wasn't followed, as he kept glancing behind him every few metres. There were a couple of times Trowa feared Wufei would see his bangs sticking out as he hid behind the mast, but luckily he didn't notice.

Finally, Trowa noticed that they had made their way to the prow of the ship. He leapt quietly across the gap, hiding behind a crate, and peeking over the top. Wufei went to stand at the very front of the boat, looking around him, and then over the side.

'This is it? He was afraid of being followed to look at the dolphins?' thought Trowa, feeling markedly disappointed. He was about to walk off when he noticed Wufei climbing on to the railings, and spreading his arms. 'What the...?'

Wufei checked behind himself one last time, and satisfied that he was completely alone, bellowed to the dolphins and the never ending horizon. "I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!!"

Trowa's eyeballs widened and for a moment he didn't know quite what to do. He didn't want this moment to have ever happened. What he had witnessed was just too scary to contemplate. Wufei... Titanic... no, the very thought of it just made him feel nauseous.

'Maybe if I close my eyes really tight and think of somewhere else, I'll be there and not here... let's think... Quatre's closet... NO! Umm... Quatre's bedroo- damn it!!'

Trowa took this moment to look up from where he was hiding, and was most unfortunate to notice Wufei standing above him. After the whole pancake batter episode, this did not bode well.

"What... are you doing?" asked Wufei in a very dangerous tone.

Trowa quickly stood up, grabbing the thing nearest to his hand off the deck. "AAH! Here it is!! Oh! Hey Wufei!"

"What were you doing, Barton?"

"I was just looking for my..." Trowa looked down at the object in his hand, "... novelty cigarette lighter... in the shape of Benito Mussolini's head..." He shook his head. Of all the things to find on the deck of a ship. What the Hell was wrong with a damn fishing rod?

"Barton, you don't even smoke, let alone support psychotic fascist dictators," replied Wufei, folding his arms across his chest, looking about ready to kill.

"Yes, I know... filthy habit I picked up from... Uhh... Rashid. Yes. Anyway, gotta go! See ya later!" With these last few words, Trowa pocketed the lighter and sped off across the deck.

"I've got my eye on you, Barton!" yelled Wufei. He turned back to the prow of the ship, a hint of a tear beginning to appear in his eye. "Oh... Jack! Why did you have to die?! WHY?"

End of Part 1!