Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters nor do I own the song "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia.
Torn - A Songfic
I
thought I saw a man more to life
He was warm
He came around
And he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Ever since I was little Uchiha Sasuke had always been a hero-figure in my eyes. He was everything I thought a boy should be. Handsome, strong, the silent-type, and came from a prestigious family. Every night I used to daydream about what it would be like to marry a boy like that.
But when I mustered the courage to tell him how I felt, he didn't even look at me. He just kept staring off at the horizon from his position in the tree. "Go away," he said. "I don't have time for your stupid crushes." I ran all the way home, crying. I was awake all night that night, crying and thinking about the boy who shot me down. It was the first in a line of many rejections, but that night I convinced myself that he rejected me because he didn't want to make the other girls too jealous. I knew I was special.
Well
you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know
Or
seem to care
What your heart is for
I don't know him anymore
Time went by. We grew into preteens. I was ecstatic that we were chosen to be on the same team together. I knew it had to be destiny. We were supposed to be together. I had so many opportunities to get closer to him. But every time I tried he pushed me farther and farther away.
We went on more and more missions. He and Naruto did nothing but argue night and day. And still I worshipped him. But as time passed, and the harder the missions got, little by little I could see changes in him.
Then the chunin exams came. It wasn't until our fateful meeting with the Giant Snake himself that I began to see the darkness overcome the light in his eyes. He woke up to save me, but I never would have thought he could be so...demonic. Inhuman. Heartless.
He maimed, killed without a thought. It didn't matter to him. I could tell that he...he enjoyed the flow of blood. It was his power over them, their blood on his hands. But still I held fast to my love. "I can change him," I thought. Fool.
There's
nothin' where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's
what's going on
Nothing's right
I'm torn
Now I see him, he no longer looks me in the eye. He has no need. He looks right through me. I try to speak to him, to say anything. I can't find the words anymore. It's no longer the awkwardness of youthful infatuation. It's something more akin to fear and desolation. The light of desire burns in his eyes. The desire for power...to kill. I know that goal which he seeks, the destruction of his brother. It's poisoning him.
I'm torn between trying to save him from himself, or allowing him to fulfill his twisted dream. Itachi is truly despicable, having twisted his brother in his nightmares so. I hate him for it, and my heart breaks to see Sasuke brooding over it constantly. An obsession.
I'm
all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into
something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is
torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn
He's gone now. Gone to seek power from him. But before he left, he came to me. The words he spoke are still ringing in my ears. The things he said...nothing but cold contempt behind them. No love, no warmth. He sneered at me, scorned at me for being such a fool.
I can no longer see my heroic image that I had of him as a child. He's become an object of my nightmares. I'm always so cold now, and I feel ashamed for having played the fool. He was right, of course. But I can't let go.
I stare at the ceiling at night and I feel that what was once so perfect is now torn to shreds, my life and the pieces of my heart. I can't find the strength to bend down and pick them up.
So
I guess the fortune teller's right
I should have seen just what
was there and not some holy light
But you crawled beneath my
veins
And now, I don't care
I have no luck
I don't miss
it all that much
There's just so many things
That I can't
touch
I'm torn
Ino was right. I should have listened. I had let Sasuke become a god to me, all the time denying what I really saw. I let him control my life and by the time I saw the truth it was almost too late. And I don't even miss the way things used to be, even though it's worse by far now.
Now that he's gone I have to rearrange myself so that he's not there. I never want to go back to who I used to be. In a way Sasuke has helped me more than anyone else. Sometimes it takes a cruel voice pointing out our faults to change us. I wish I could thank him but he'd never understand why or even accept the thanks.
I can't reach him anymore.
I'm
all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into
something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is
torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn
I'm so tired of waiting and waiting for him to come back. It's been so long that I've almost forgotten about the evil lurking inside of him. But I keep myself sane by turning his words over in my head a thousand times over. The flame that had once burned so bright for him was dim, and I no longer try to recall his face.
He's ripped my world apart and I couldn't care less anymore. He's not coming back, and I'm moving forward inches at a time. My heart no longer skips when I walk by that picture of us, hanging on my wall. Daydreams are dead, dusty and forgotten.
There's
nothin' where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's
what's going on
Nothing's right
I'm torn
I no longer walk by our old haunts, the training grounds, the Ramen Hut, or even your old "favorite" tree. I've gotten to be so that I don't even remember why I wanted to be a ninja. I can't remember my reasons beyond wanting to be beside you.
I'm tired of remembering my memories of him. I'm beginning to loathe the face in my head. Unbidden, things serve to remind me of him, of the days of our innocence, if he was ever truly innocent.
I'm
all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into
something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is
torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn
Years have passed and I no longer dwell on that dark, brooding face. One of these days I might be able to forget entirely. Ah, but fate is too cruel to me. You did come home to me, but now it's too late for us.
I'm
all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am
shamed
Bound and broken on the floor
You're a little late
I'm
already torn
I'm torn.
At last he has come back to me, but I no longer want to see his face. I'm tired of you. Tired of seeing your face at night and tired of your stupid voice. I degraded myself for you and played the fool. No more.
I'm done with you Uchiha Sasuke.
Goodbye. I hope you found what you were looking for.
...torn...
A/N: I hope you enjoyed my first songfic. Depending on whether you like it or not, I may do a sequel-type songfic from Sasuke's POV. So review and let me know. Arigatou.