A/N: I just want you guys to know that I am strugling to get Anakins skills developed. I am not a very good battle writer and so getting this new that he will have to make sense is giving me trouble. I am working on it so never fear if it takes awhile for the chapter to come that is why. Yes this a transition chapter so this is why it is so short. ( just in case you wondered)
Anakin thoughtfully walked into the workout room. Qui Gon was waiting for him but he knew that work was not on Anakin's mind.
"Talk to me." was all Qui Gon said.
"Master, Palpatine was able to get me over to the dark side because I could not control my fears. I have always known fear. Fear is what kept me alive on Tatooine. Yet Fear of my dreams led me back to my mother and anger filled me so at her torture that I killed a whole Village of Sand People. Fear of loosing Obi Wan made me fight so hard to rescue him all those times he was in trouble. Yet Fear of loosing Padme led me to join the dark side."
"Anakin one thing I always tried to teach Obi Wan was listen to the Living Force. He never could let go of the strict teaching of the Jedi. There is so much more to the force than they would acknowledge. I was constantly at odds with them for thinking outside the box. In your case, you learned by fear from a very early age. It was a way of life for you. It was why the counsel never wanted to train you. You could not be washed of that thinking. They knew it would always be in you and because of it they could not control you."
" I always knew that they were disappointed when I proved too hard to tame. Mace never once trusted me. Even my saber techniques would drive him crazy."
"I see things different though. You are not a freak and you will bring balance to the Force. Yoda was an excellent master in how to channel the Force. Mace was a powerful master in how to wield the Force and Obi wan balanced out these two teachings but not one of them sees the whole picture. They were so bound by their thoughts of how the force worked that they could not see beyond those walls. One thing you have felt is that there is more to the force than the rules placed on you by either the light side or the dark side."
"The light side forces us to kill our basic emotions while the dark side forces you to use only the anger, hate, and bitterness of our emotions. I did not live well under either teaching. I am never more alive than when I love and yet something is messed up with my love also. I loved my mother and I lost her. I clung to you after leaving Tatooine because you gave me stability in a scary time and yet I lost you no sooner than I had you. I felt like I was wondering in darkness most of my life happening to bump into the right way or the wrong way. There was no light until Padme came back into my life. I swear Qui Gon I could not loose that light again and I have to hold it. But I find that anything I hold slips from me and dies. What do I do?"
"Love is the key to all things Anakin. Without Love we wither. I have learned this not only here but when I was alive. I too loved another and I was ready to leave the Jedi Order for her and she for me but she too was killed before anything be changed. One thing I learned was no matter how much you love you must let go. Life is full of letting go. You are born to your parents who you fiercely love but you let go of them. You may marry but the person will leave you or you them through death. You have children but they leave also. Life is nothing but loving and letting go. You my friend must let go."
"I Can't!!!! How can I let go of the one thing that has kept me on course most all my life?"
"Anakin! You have been anywhere but on course try something new to and trust the force. Love is useless without trust."
Anakin had to think on this for a while. So he picked up his light saber and prepared for training. Training did not go well for Anakin though and finally Qui Gon had to stop the training in order for him not be one big bruise. As Anakin was walking out of the training room Qui Gon called after him. "Love and Trust, that is all you need."