Disclaimer : I own nothing and am making no money.
Warnings : Slash.
I Couldn't take it. Not anymore. Years and years of repressing everything; of bottling it all up and now I could not take it any more.
Not with him right there, standing in the kitchen looking so withdrawn, so fucking uncomfortable and withdrawn, taunting me with the fact that I have no right to touch him. Acting like he can't sense this tension between us, this thing. I could practically feel him calling to me.Maybe it's the closeness of the full moon, or the closeness of him, but I just could … not … stop … myself …anymore.
Putting down my cup of tea, and brushing the door shut as I passed it, I walked around to where Severus stood, causing him to snap out of whatever thought he was in; before he could even think of the words to snarl, I took his jaw in my hands and kissed him. Hard.
I felt him tense up, stop breathing, but I only pressed harder, taking some sort of sadistic pleasure knowing that it must hurt the dark haired man. Softening my kiss slightly, I drag my tongue across his lips, biting the bottom one and tasting his breath when he breathed out in worry.
Severus appeared to get a grip on what was happening, and before I could sense it, he was trying to push me away. His long fingered hands pushing against my chest but I only wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him tight against me, trapping his arms and keeping his hands on my chest. Since this rendered him practically helpless against me, he swirled his head to one side, breaking our kiss and breathing heavily.
After so many years dreaming of this I did not let him stop me, and instead began to kiss and lick his ear, dragging my lips down to his neck, his jaw, his cheek. I was tasting his skin like I was dying of thirst and it was water, taking in his scent like it was oxygen. It was only when I kissed the side of his mouth, causing him to gasp that I heard him speak:
"Stop…Lupin." It was a whisper, sounding desperate and shocked. Summoning every scrap of self control I still possessed, I lifted my lips from his heated skin, and loosened my vice-like grip on his slim body.
Severus looked in a state of shock. He was shaking minutely, breathing raggedly and refusing to meet my gaze. It was only then I noticed the dark red blotches on his neck, his ears, and his jaw, and realized how rough I was. Letting go of one of his arms, I slowly raised my hand to his cheek, gently caressing the marks, as if I was trying to rub them away. I felt the fire thrill flow my veins again, when his breath hitched, and he leaned slightly into my touch.
We both flinched when a clang was heard from the other room, reminding us that most of the Weasleys were still in the other room. The echoing noise cut through the fog of pent up lust and I knew this could not carry on here…and that Severus may have preferred the blissful ignorance over this whole thing.
Removing my hands from his waist, but coving his hands, which still rested on my chest, with my own, I spoke low and slowly:
"I'm tired of pretending that I don't want you Severus. If you want to pretend that you hate me fine: but don't expect me to throw hateful looks back. But if you are sick and tired of denying what there is between us, come to my room tonight, after everyone is asleep. It's your call now Severus," I warned, before leaning in for a soft kiss, knowing full well, this may be the last time I could taste the potions master. I may have caught him unawares this time, but I doubt I could do it a second.
Pulling away, Severus left my arms and walked out of the door, and I heard the distinct slam of the door. Heaving a sigh, I looked at the clock: 7:53.
I could not wait till bed time…
I suppose it's always been there; the attraction we feel. He was intriguing as a boy, and captivating as a man. He was the only person I felt an unexplainable urge to get close to, to have some link with, to touch. I loved James and Sirius of course, needed their friendship, but every time I saw Snape I always felt a pull, deep in my chest, and a strange desire to taste his skin…
It was still there when I first returned to Hogwarts the teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. I'd see him in the Great Hall and that pull would be there. But that first time we were alone in his office, when I first took the wolfsbane, the air was practically static. His scent filled the room, his heart beat loud and clear, and I knew he felt it too. It took everything I had not to take him then, to force him to admit the attraction that was between us.
But like an idiot I hid it. I hid it behind friendly smiles and banter, by surrounding my self with people; with Harry and Minerva and later Sirius. I had spent so long repressing and denying what the wolf wanted, what the wolf needed. I thought I could handle this.
But, unlike before, I had to be around him. I would saw him for order meetings, for the wolfsbane that Albus still insist he prepare for me. I would still see him and it would still be there, never fading, just growing until I knew I would snap…like I did tonight. I don't know if I love him. I suppose I don't know him well enough to fall in love, but I know that I want to get to know him. I want some link to him; to his life, to his happiness, to his past, to his future, and to his present. Maybe it's a wolf thing….
Its 11:37 and I am beginning to worry that Severus has decided not to come, to ignore the feelings that are between us. The thought chills me too the bone, to be left feeling like this, to never know.
Sighing heavily, I lie on my bed, and try to calm down. I did not bother to keep a candle lit, afraid it could encourage one of the kids to pop in for a chat. The half moon was high and bright, and poured silver light into my room. The house was eerily quite, when a sudden creak echoed throughout the house.
Suddenly I was pumped full of adrenalin, tense and alert, waiting vainly for another sign of someone moving about. Another creek. And the rusty turning of my door handle…the squeak of the door being gently pushed open and closed, and the sudden dense shadow of someone clad in black leaning against said door.
I quickly lit a candle, meshing gold and silver, and looked at my visitor. He had not bothered with his robe and million button jacket. Oddly enough he was dressed in muggle jeans and an overly baggy black jumper that swamped his upper frame, but set off the slenderness of waist and hips.
"I had to meet Malfoy…for some odd reason he wanted to meet in a muggle pub and I … I have just finished talking to Albus about what was discussed…" Severus said, trying to appear confident and sure, but failing miserably. It was strange to see Severus Snape so lost for words, so uncomfortable. But I doubt he has ever done anything like this before…Maybe he thinks it all a joke…
The static had reappeared in the air. Once again giving into instinct, I walked up to the door, framing his face in my hands and kissing him, feeling elated when those beautiful hands smoothed over my chest and came to rest on my shoulders. His hands seemed to burn through my shirt, causing the room to soar with heat.
Severus must have felt the heat too, felt the desperation, because his hands moved down the front of my shirt quickly shimming under it and touching my skin. His fingertips traced icy fire through the hair on my chest, and I roughly broke off our kiss, to hold onto that hand and lead him to the bed. Just before we reached it, he spun us round, so his back was to the bed, and pulled my head in for another kiss. Wrapping my arms around him again, I nibbled on his lower lip, and took a step forward, causing him to fall back, and the connection between us taking me with him.
With a scramble and a flurry, we laid kissing on the bed, hand never leaving the others body. I was so engrossed in what I was tasting, feeling, smelling, touching, that it was not until Severus physically held my head away from his, that I realized he was talking.
"Huh?" I asked, almost kicking myself with how that sounded.
Severus merely smirked, sending shivers down my spin.
"I said, you had better put a silencing charm up and a locking charm on the door. I don't exactly wish my presence here to be known. If I did, I would have let you carry on earlier," he drawled, sounding far too eloquent for a man who recently had the breath kissed out of him.
Knowing time to be of the essence, and not wanting to give him time to back out, I leaped up and grabbed his wand from the table and cast the necessary spells on the door. Turning back to the bed, I was assaulted by internal butterflies, the sight of Severus laying on my bed, and knowing he was waiting for me to join him, making me catch my breath.
I was suddenly overcome with a sense of shyness. Almost shaking with the fire running through my veins, I walk towards the bed, and simply stare down at him, taking in his flushed, relaxed body. He seems to be uncomfortable with my scrutiny, and quickly raises himself to his knees, and kisses me again, and I feel his hands around my waist pushing my shirt up, and I lift my arms, breaking our kiss momentary to cast the garment aside. He does not resume our kiss, instead he lowers his eyes, taking in my frame looking feral , before raising a hand and trailing it over my chest, through the sparse brown hair, lower to my stomach, before twirling my the hair leading from my navel, and disappearing into my trousers. My breath hitches as his fingers dance over my trousers waist, and I can not help but grab his wrist and tugged him to me, kissing him soundly, feeling the soft fabric of his jumper against my bare chest.
I feel more wolf then man, and I quickly rid him of his black jumper, before pulling him against me, feeling his soft, bare skin against my own. He gasps and I moan, muffling the noise by burying my lips to his neck, tasting his skin, and breathing his scent. I feel his hands softly skim my back, his nails sending shivers through my frame. His fingertips still feel cold, but his skin tastes hot, salty and sharp, and I have a disturbing urge to break the skin, to see if his blood tastes the same, or if it is hotter, and metallic. Trying to remove the disturbing thought, I place one final kiss just under his ear, before I lift my head, raking my eyes over his body once again.
Pale skin, currently flushed, only marred by the dark mark that scared his flesh. Lips slightly bruised, hair tousled and trousers hanging low on his hips…hands still trailing fire over my skin, lips on my collarbone, hips jutting into my own…
"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,"…the wolf was out…
It all makes sense now. The pull I felt for Severus, the urge, it now makes perfect sense. When I felt my control snap, the wolf in me take over, I worried. When I felt the growl rumble from my voice, low and urgent I almost dragged myself from his arms, when he did a very odd thing.
He growled back.
Deep, long and challenging, he growled…
I was an animal. I threw him back on the bed and proceeded to bugger him senseless, and he did not a thing to stop me, to slow me. Instead he helped me rip our remaining clothes off, arched into as I ravaged his body, and marked me as his, just as I claimed him…
I know I was rough. Looking at him now, my eyes are drawn to the bite mark on his neck, the love bites that decorated his neck, shoulders, stomach, thighs and chest. The nails marks that dig into his skin. But it's ok. It's ok because I know that the marks are mirrored on my own skin.
I have always had to repress the wolf. Protect my friends from it. I have learnt today that I don't have to with Severus. For every animalistic urge I could unleash on him, he will willingly unleash on me; respond to me in equal kind. I don't need to hide behind a gentle polite exterior, he knows what I am, what I need. And instead of fearing and resenting me for it, he reacts to it perfectly, instinctively. His actions to me during my first year teaching also make sense now. The sense of territory is a remarkable thing…
I hear Severus mumble in his sleep, and move closer to me, flinging his arm around my waist possessively; and I can not help but smile again.
Many people have tried to help me with my inner wolf. But none of them were good enough, not really.
James was a stag- Prey.
Sirius was a dog - almost good enough, but still missing that fighter instinct.
Peter was Peter. Never an equal.
But Severus, hah, Severus, as I have learnt is a full, complete, Wolf.
I was in the mood to ramble.
I would like to thank "Falco89" for agreeing to be my beta and who betad this work! Thank you doll! You're a star! I own you a plate full of cookies!
Thanks to everyone else who offered tho ( I just went by first come first serve) Thanks!
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