Hopeless

A Fist of the North Star/Hokuto No Ken fan fiction by Wega the blue sun

No copyright infringement intended, these characters (except for the O/C) don't belong to me. The fic does belong to me!

Someone thinks about Shin and Yuria ...mature situations, nothing graphic.

Hopeless

I see you standing on the balcony, with your beloved by your side. I must admit, you make a beautiful couple. You are smiling at your love, trying to impress her with this magnificent gift. What woman wouldn't want to be your queen and have an entire city, no, a country at her beck and call?

But the beautiful woman at your side isn't impressed. She knows that the gift is bloodstained. You've done many terrible things in order to build this city you're so proud of. You've enslaved and killed helpless peasants, robbed them of whatever valuables they had. The city they built for you is lovely. In the setting sun the gleaming white buildings look gilded, the windows sparkle like jewels. Southern Cross is a prize beyond compare, but Lady Yuria wants none of it.

Soon enough you notice that the gift doesn't elicit the hoped-for response. Far from being happy and flattered Lady Yuria cries. For once again you've misunderstood her needs and wants and given her the worst possible present.

When you try to comfort her by reaching for her shoulder she recoils from your touch and runs to hide in her chambers, as always. You are left standing on the balcony, confused and angry at this new rejection. You truly don't understand, King-sama? Or is it that you don't wish to see the truth so plain before your eyes? Your love and passion are wasted on Lady Yuria. She doesn't love you, probably never has and certainly never will.

Do you wonder why that is, King-sama? You should know, because you've done Lady Yuria a great wrong. You tortured her lover Kenshiro, right before her eyes. Before you struck the finishing blow you mocked Ken by making her renounce her love for him and forced her to proclaim her new passion for you. And then you took her away and left Ken to die in the desert.

Did you really think she'd forget that? Did you think that your power and strength, your wealth and fame and your beauty and your love would be enough to heal the wounds in her heart? Maybe a lesser woman would have accepted you, but Lady Yuria was devoted to her fiance, and now she's devoted to his memory, and to hating you.

Men often expect women to be impressed by the things men find desirable. Rarely are they right. Most women don't care if their lover is strong, rich or famous. They care more about the character that makes that one man so unique in their eyes.

You give Lady Yuria precious gifts because you think she wants beautiful dresses, priceless jewels and a shining city to command. For you status and material possessions are very important and you deem your gifts valuable. But such things mean nothing to Yuria, they disgust her because she doesn't desire material wealth. Her treasures are kindness, love and caring - qualities she finds lacking in you. You've never shown her that you possess these traits. Not that anything you could do now would make her change her mind. She will not give up her memories of Ken, and that means there's no chance for you to replace him in her heart.

But even if you are aware of these fact, you still try to win her favor. Every day you desperately try to earn her love - the ultimate prize. Only, your renewed efforts repulse her more and more.

I suppose you can't help yourself, it is in your destiny to live in love and die for love. But does that mean you can only love this woman? Why do you have to desire the one who will never accept you? Why can't you take me instead?

I am your servant girl and I have been with you for some time. Life in the castle is easy, I have good food to eat, lovely clothes to wear and I am safe from the crushing labor the slaves in the city have to endure.
The moment I saw you I loved you. You are one of a kind, even in these terrible times. The most beautiful man I've ever seen - what woman wouldn't want you for a lover?

You often visit me at night, when the castle is silent and only the guard remain alert. Lady Yuria has locked herself into her room, but she needn't fear. You are too honorable to force yourself on any woman, no matter how desperately you desire her.

You don't like me to talk when you are with me, for it's my slight resemblance to the Lady that attracts you, and in the darkness you can safely imagine I am her as long as I remain silent. Skillfully, desperately you make love to me, whispering her name all the while. When your hunger is sated you leave without words. You've never slept in my bed, I've never watched you wake up in the early morning sunshine. I've never slept in your bed - you don't need to tell me that place is reserved for her. Sometimes you leave a gift behind as a token of your appreciation. Usually a nice piece of jewelry, but not the best. The finest things are always reserved for her.

Are you worried that she may find out about us? She probably already knows, secrets are hard to keep in this palace. But jealousy doesn't affect her, for in order to be jealous she'd have to have feelings for you. You cannot possibly fall lower in her regard.

But I feel for you. While I wish I was the focus of your attention I still care about your happiness. And so I spoke to her on your behalf. You probably wouldn't approve of such a maneuver, for it isn't a servant's place to talk to the masters and you have your pride.
Although the lady listened politely to my pleas I wasn't much help to you. There was no warmth in her eyes, no matter how I begged. And that is how she has remained - beautiful, sad and relentlessly cold.

I cannot help but feel that she is in the wrong, too. While the wretched conditions of the peasants lives distress her, she does nothing to improve their lot. Although she has to know that a single word from her, a kind gesture towards you would be enough to make you do her bidding gladly, she remains aloof.

And yet I can't hate her. I tried to, at first. But while I felt pity for you and me, I began to feel sorry for her, too. She's lost her love, and she's forced to remain with the man who destroyed her happiness. Did you know that she cries at night? She whispers his name when she thinks no one can hear her.

Sometimes I wish she'd just give in and accept you, or even put an end to this miserable situation. She has never tried to escape, nor has she tried to kill herself. I don't understand why, but maybe she too has a destiny she needs to follow.

This beautiful palace has become a jail, and we who fancy ourselves the masters are really the prisoners within. Can you feel it, King-sama? There is something in the air, I've noticed for some time now. There are rumors going around, and something stirs in the city. Some of the Kingsmen have been killed in strange ways, and the word is out that someone is looking for you to even a score. Could it be that your past is catching up with you? I know something terrible is about to happen, and I fear for you, my love. I fear for us all.

Is Lady Yuria aware of all this? When the time comes you will have to fight. For your love, for your destiny. Men like you aren't meant to grow old, they burn out in a bright blaze of glory. Lives are short now, and fighters usually don't die of old age.

I stay with you because I want to be with you for as long as possible. In my own way I am as desperate a fool for love as you are for her. And my passion is ultimately just as hopeless.