Love Affair

By Kate Carter

Disclaimer: If you need one of these, you're a whole lot dumber than you think…Stargate is not mine…not mine!

Timewise, when Carter's still a captain, but that's only determined by one reference; could easily be placed at just about any point.

Just something that popped into my head when I was reading another story…

"Oh, come on, you've got to have noticed, he meets her every time he gets the chance!"

"Her, sir?"


"'Bertha', O'Neill?"

"Yeah, Bertha!"

…"Sir, why Bertha?"

"I don't know. Because. Because it's Bertha."

"I do not believe Daniel Jackson-"

"It's true, come on Teal'c, you've got to have noticed!"

Teal'c raised his eyebrow and considered this. "Perhaps you are right, O'Neill."

"I don't know, sir, doesn't seem quite right to me."

"Oh, come on Carter, I thought you were supposed to be smart!"

"Excuse me, sir, but-!"

"Carter, relax! Seriously though, haven't you noticed he meets her every time he comes back from a mission!"

"Not EVERY time, sir."

"While I believe O'Neill to be exaggerating, he is for the most part correct, Captain Carter. Daniel Jackson does meet…'Bertha'…at the end of almost every mission."

…"You know, I never thought about it, but I guess you're right."

"It's because you're always racing to get the shower first."

"Oh, come on, sir, that's not fair!"

"Is too."

"Is not!"


"Not!…and besides, at least I didn't leave my pink soap laying around!"

"Hey, Carter, it's not my fault they make them pink!"

"You knew it was pink to begin with! It shows it on the box!"

…"How would you know what's on the box?"


"Carter's got pink soap, Carter's got pink soap…"


"I believe we were originally discussing Daniel Jackson's rendezvous' with…'Bertha'."

"Yeah, Teal'c, you have a point."

"I still can't believe…honestly, sir, Bertha!"

"Yes, Carter. Bertha."

"Hey guys! What are you talking about?"



"Daniel Jackson. We were talking about your fondness for Bertha."

…"Bertha? Who's Bertha?"

"Teal'c…did you not learn the concept of staying quiet back on Chulak?"

Teal'c tilted his head slightly and smiled. "When it is appropriate, O'Neill."

"Okay then…they didn't teach you 'appropriate'…ness…"

"Who's Bertha?"

"The ramp, Daniel."

"The ramp?"

"The one coming off the Stargate."


Carter and Teal'c stared pointedly at O'Neill.

"Oh. Why the ramp?"

"Because, Danny-boy, you seem to love it, seeing as how you get as close to it as possible every time we step through the 'gate."

"Oh, come on Jack, I don't."

"What about the bruise on your cheek?"

"We were in a hurry jumping through!"

"Uh-huh…what about when you gave yourself a concussion before we even went through?"

"My shoelace was untied!"

"Yeah, Danny-boy, whatever you want to say…we know the truth. You love Bertha."