"Okay, first question slash complaint: why are we on a steakout? Not only does that word highly offend my vegetarian lifestyle, it's also-"

"Uh hum. It's stakeout, Beast Boy, as in s-t-a-k-e combined with the word 'out'. If you're gonna be a female dog, then at least be grammatically correct."

"Bah! You can shove your dictionary wisdom up your tights clad buttocks! It's pronounced the same! I…… uh, presume! Ha!"

Robin sighed and pulled on a latex material of peachy color. "Well, humor my responsibly occupied mindset again, Beast Boy, what the heck is your problem?"

"Besides lacking the knowledge of common vocabulary and assorting appropriately as a greentard?" Raven scoffed as she pulled on some golden hay straws and dark cloth.

"Whoa! Insult my language ineptitudes all you want, but this blue-yellow mixture of a skin and this set of pointy ears are the new wave of hetero-erotics!"

"I sense some hormonal character conflict, BB. You overdosing on cough medicine and dog food, again?"

"Ahhh, go blow yourself out of the butthole, ya toaster!"

"Hehehehe. Hahaha, that's moo-hole to you."

"All right, calm yourselves, Titans. We have a stakeout to commence, whether or not we're green and contemptible with hormonal confliction."

"Affirmative of the greatest enthusiasm! We must rigorously establish the pretense for this operation of the staking the outage! For we must apprehend the offending Unidentified F of the O with greatest alacrity, before the probability of its bastardly return for the theft of our bovine friends!"

"Hehehe, she said F of the O…"

Cyborg smirked as he poked his head out of the mechanical cow. "Yo, Star. You're pretty pumped about this stakeout, got some alien excitement from all this?"

"My enthusiastic adrenaline is nothing stemmed from anomalies which would be of concern, friend Cyborg. I am merely eager to defend the innocent and sluggish animals in which you deem as food and Beast Boy deem as compatriots!"

"Wait……she's right! You do eat all the guys around here, you oven on steroids! I think you know who you owe a lot of apologizing to!"

"Oh, boy. It's Jump City Zoo all over again."

"C'mon! It's long overdue for your karma load!"

"Bah! I'll send them an e-mail or something."

"All right, all right, we'll sort this all out in a cheerleader fashion later, provided after we capture or at least find out what this flying saucer wants from stealing cows. No matter how absurd and …….50's it all seems…."

Beast Boy giggled. "Dialing out to area 51, you're missing a wanker! And it's hightime for bell bottom pants again!"

Starfire nodded happily with a huge smile and stretched her latex as well. "Agreed! And to proceed with such a feat, we must all accordingly conceal our true appearances until the offender appears!"

"Ah! There! That was my second complaint! Why do we have to be on a stakeout in disguises? More importantly, I'm enrolled to be a pig!"

"I thought I explained that during the briefing."

"You know no one listens, Robbie, it's not exactly the most interesting crap we've ever suffered through as superheroes. The whole time, Cyborg was trying to see if he could still make his voice go pitchy high with helium."

Robin turned his masked eyes to narrow in on the android.

"Hey, don't you narrow your black mask at me! All I needed to hear was 'make a Cy-cow', everything else can be binary for all I care. And it's not like we're trying to pummel Slade in a rundown meat factory because he was trying to sabotage the Atkin's Diet."

"Hmm……" Raven droned, "although Beast Boy's role is very appropriate, I have to agree with him that this whole concealment stakeout idea is very out of the blue."

"See? Even the gothic scarecrow agrees with me!"

"It's not very entertaining to be covered with dry plants."

"Oh! But you must be prepared readily to act as an inanimate humanoid of crow scaring if the operation is to proceed fluently!"

Beast Boy snickered. "Hehehe, yeah, and maybe later, we can find a brain for you."

"I'm sorry, Beast Boy. I couldn't understand that, did you oink something? Because that was the only thing comprehendible you've said."

"Ahh….whatever, you flammable mannequin."

"I only hear 'oink oink'! I'm a little piggy short and stout."

"Ehhh……go oink yourself."

"We must not dally much longer, for night time is arriving, and we must be within our respective posts before then! Come, friend Raven, I shall assist in dressing you in the straws of hay."

Robin blinked, and looked at the blue sky. "Ummm, Starfire, it's summer time. So the sun goes down after another three hours, and we're going fast enough, so there's no real need to be in such a haste…."

"Friends! We are of the dallying for too long as of this moment! Quickly! Cyborg, you must repair your bovine counterpart while I assist Raven into her nefarious crow battling disguise!"

Beast Boy opened his mouth again but was instantly carried away to the pig den on the other side of the farm and dumped into the mud with vigor.

"Holy oinkers! What the sundance crap was that for, Star?"

"Cease your earthling tongue, Beast Boy, and hastily engage your adaptation to the society of the piglets!"

Robin rubbed his black hair with a puzzled frown.

"Well…hum, Starfire is rather………zealous about getting this whole thing started……"

Raven shook her head. "Of course, we'll be role playing……with you and Starfire as a married couple in a farm land…….please connect the glowing dots."

The boy patted his head. "Oh……I didn't know Starfire liked doing skits. Maybe I should make a mental note of that."

"……………………maybe you should be in that muddy den." She commented before being swept away by a red blur.

"Allow me to assist you in undressing and preparations, Raven!" "S-starfire! Let me g-" The rest of the voices are already fading into the distant cottage.

Robin and Cyborg blinked. Robin held his nose for a moment. "……e-errghhh…" He shifted uncomfortably. "….I-I'll continue working on the artificial skin-I mean, yeah……, um, ahem……"

"….uh…yeah, I'll…….finish up the Cy-cow…."


Starfire dragged a wool clothe clad Raven back with glee in front of Robin.

"I believe Raven's appearance is that of what is required, yes?"

The blinked as he saw the Titaness standing before him, looking like a new rendition of something out of a Medieval village. More precisely, like a witch. Raven did not appear entertained, but was only as bored as much as piece of blue hair dangled from within the hat.

"Um………Starfire? I don't really think that's exactly what a scarecrow looks like……"

"Oh? But were we not entreating to a spectacle of a standardization of out image and soulful personality?"

"Well, yes, but……"

With a sudden black flash, Raven's dark robe burst into pieces, revealing the leotard underneath, only leaving the pointy witch's hat unharmed.

"Eeeek! Your apparel has been obliterated!"

"With full intention."

"But you appeared so endearing!"

"Exactly the reason it suddenly died, with you in toe if you don't stow it."

Robin let loose a breath he held. "Whew……at least y-you were s-still wearing something underneath."

Raven crossed her arms. "Then stop undressing me with your eyes."

"Wha-wha? N-No, I-I, uh, you're cruel."

"Well noted."

CLANK! "Yo! Watch the handle, BB!"

"Sorry, sorry! I just wanted to see if this thing could like shoot sonic blasts or something!"

"Why would I make the Cy-cow into a mandible tank? Oh, crud!" The mechanical cow tilted its head upwards and began trotting forward in a rapid spasm motion.

Beast Boy flailed from his position on the cow's behind and yelped as the cow charged into the group of live ones, with Cyborg yelling obscenities in the trail.

The cows dispersed from their gatherings in panic as the robot torpedoed throughout the field.



For some reason, Starfire giggled and clapped her hands.

Raven tilted her head, with the tip of the scarecrow's hat poking Robin's head.

Robin slapped his palm against his face. "Don't say it, please don't say it-"

"Holy. Cow."

"Arrrrgghhh…" He moaned and sat in the rocking chair.

Starfire saw the action and beamed. With a great smile, she flew and bounced unto the Titan leader's lap and wrapped her arms around his neck.


"Hehehehe! Come, Robin! We must entreat ourselves upon the thespian lifestyles and engage in a pretense of impromptu rehearsal!"

"R-rehearsal? B-but Star, we're just-"

"Aaaahhhh! Runaway mad cow disease! Dodge for your health!" Beast Boy shouted as he and the robotic animal made a beeline charge into the red farmhouse.

"Heeeee….look, my sweeten syrup! The dro'lugen are playing with envious jocularity. Do not their efflorescence incite submerged memories of old?"

"Uh-um, y-you m-mean recklessness?"

"Oh, most affirmative my sweeten syrup! Heeee……"

"S-starfire! Where are your hands going! Your hands don't swivel below my belt, my belt! Wait, w-why am I feeling a s-sense of déjà vu?"

"Holy crudcicle! I can't stop iiiiiiittt!" Beast Boy's scream was heard with increasing clarity and volume as he and the robot charged straight at the sitting couple.

"Eeekness!" "Yikesness!"


"………………………." Raven watched the dust and the white commotion of life. She patted her cape and wiped away some mud that obviously made some airborne travels.

She folded her arms as she levitated away from the commotion. She reached towards her head for the hat, but stopped.

"……………………a witch, huh?" She left the hat on her head, and meditated.

Surrounded by crows.