Lamb: This is my answer to the challenge for The Dark Lord's answering machine. Well my real one. Someone post the unfinished one up earlier.
Sirius: What is an answering machine?
Lamb: It is a muggle thing.
The Dark Lord's Answering Machine
The Dark Lord gets an answering machine!
Snape walk into the room where Wormtail was making a top secret project to destroy Potter. Oh how much he hated Potter. Snape wished since Potter was born he would die in a painful way. Like how Snape's flying blue dog got chopped in half by the train.
Snape look at the shiny, glittery machine on the table. 'Wait that …' He twitched then turn to Wormtail, growling "What the $$ is a muggles answering machine doing here?"
"The D…Dark L…L…Lord Thought we need an easier way to talk to each other," told Wormtail, flinching away from Snape.
"But what about the melleyphone?" ask Snape.
"Don't you mean telephone?" Wormtail whimpered as he finishes up, "I set it up, now we wait for the D…Dark Lord."
Voldemort came in," Did you set it up?" he ask in a way you think it was a threat.
"Yes my lord. It is ready." said Wormtail, as he throw himself on the ground and kiss Voldemort's robes.
"Turn it on. " Wormtail stood up and turn it on. "You have reached the Dark Lord's hideout…
If you know where Potter is press1…
If you know what was in the prophecy Press 2
If you are a muggle and ready to die Press 3
Please leave a massage now if it is something else.
…. Now we wait." He said evilly. Five minute later the thing picks up a caller. "Crazy people these days, you're not normal. Are you a... a you- know- what... (In the back ground a voice is saying Uncle Vernon) What boy? No, it not any of those order weird-o. beep"
Voldemort turn to Snape, "Snape find that D& Muggle. I want his head for dinner!" Snape tried to but he never could. He got punish mercilessly but not killed.
Ron dialed the wrong number again on the fellyphone. He was about to hang up when this came on:
BEEPHello…hello… Snape is this on… Sor… Wait, I don't have say the s-word, since I will one day take over the world (mhahahahaha). This is The Dark Lord speaking. If you are talking on this then you must be one of my followers. Nott, be sure you bring the You-know-What. Leave a massage after the Beep. If you're not one of my Followers then you will suffer a painful death, like Black did. Beep
Ron, laughing, said, "Is this a joke? You can't be Moldy Voldy."
Riddle's House- same Day Voldemort was waiting for a call. As much as hate to say, he likes the muggle machine.
Even if that Muggle insult him. Well he had try to punish him except Snape could not find that DARN Muggle. Maybe Bella was right about him being the spy, even if Snape killed Dumbledore.
Voldemort also like to change his massage every day, though that day was stupid, he almost said the s-word. That word was forbidden to all DE. That moment the answer machine came on.
BEEP"Hello…hello… Snape is this on… Sor… Wait, I don't have say the s-word, since I will one day take over the world (mhahahahaha). This is The Dark Lord speaking. If you are talking on this then you must be one of my followers. Nott, be sure you bring the You-know-What. Leave a massage after the Beep. If you're not one of my Followers then you will suffer a painful death, like Black did. Beep
Voldemort flinched at the massage then turn a shade of red that was same as his eyes.
A child voice came on and said while giggling, "Is this a joke? You can't be Moldy Voldy." Then the brat had the nerve to hang up without another word.
He should there plotting his revenged. Oh… when he gets his hands on the darn brat, 8…no…10 almost death will not show how he hates to be called Moldy Voldy.
He let out one of his evil laughs.
The next day Ron almost got ran over, but Moldy Voldy could not find him.
Lupin finds out
Lupin shout at everyone, "Does anyone what pizza? I know a great pizza place."
Everyone who was at headquarters shouted "Yes. Please don't let the twins cook again."
Lupin called 222-6782 only he put a 5 instead of a 6.
What came on was this. "Welcome to Voldy hot-line, the line for my friends contact Voldy ( aka The Dark Lord). Sorry I'm out for ice cream now. Please leave a massage for me, Voldy."
Lupin hangs up and shouted "Twins get down here. What did you guys did to the phone?"
The twins arrive and said "But we didn't do anything to the fellyphone."
But as they were the only one who could, no one believes them.
Voldemort was by his machine when the phone rang. His massage came on;
"Welcome to the Dark Lord's machine. The only way you got this number if you were one of my loyal Death Eater. If you are not then bow. 'Cause I'm in the middle of taking over the world. MHAHAHAHAHA (Snape voice in the background) Snape don't talk to me. Leave a massage."
A small voice with a heavy accent spoke, "em… sorry I got the wrong…"
Then the voice became evil, "Mhahahahaha… are you nuts? I'm the only one who can take over the world."
A voice behind him say, "Tomb robber, who are you talking to?"
The evil voice said, "Somebody who said they are taking over the world. Any way there is no way you could take over the world because anyone can pretend to be a 'Dark Emperor' and have "Dearth Vader". That so Star Wars. Maybe even like Malik and his Rare Hunters. So stop saying you're going you are going to rule the world."
"Bakura, hurry up. You are using all my time."
"Shut it Kaiba. Bye Baka."
The first voice return, "…number. Huh where did time go? Oh wait evil sprit. Sorry if my em… friend (bunch voice laugh) insult you." And the man hangs up.
Bella, who was the first one who enter the room after the massage, was force for the people but of course she couldnot find them. After all, they are in Japan.
Lamb: Not my best work but I hope you enjoy this.
Sirius: HAHA. Snape got punish by Voldemort. HAHAHAHA
Lamb: Do you want to go back to veil, Sirius?
Sirius: … No why?
Lamb: Because I LIKE Snape!
Sirius: You do? But he is an oily, old bat.
Lamb: Please review.